shan n Posted March 19, 2006 Posted March 19, 2006 Hello. I am new at this, but I seriously need some advice. I have been with my bf for 4 years now and have lived with him for 3.5 years. He has been married before, but I have not. He also has 2 daughters and I have yet to have kids, which I can't wait to have. Early on we discussed marriage and having children and how we are both interested in these as goals. I told him that I would at least want/need to be with him for 2 years before I would even consider marriage. After 1.5 years, he tells me he is going to work overtime to save for a ring??? Nothing has ever happened. In the meantime, my biological clock is really starting to tick. We have talked a couple more times about marriage, but nothing really came of it. I will not pressure him because he's been married before and he will know if he is ready or not. But it is coming down to do or die time now. It feels to me that he has it all already so no need to make that a priority and he has been married and has kids so why the hurry...well, anymore it is not a hurry-it's been 4 years. I've also asked him if he really is afraid or if there is something about me that was stopping him...he said no. This situation has started to really affect me and no one is gettin' younger, ya know? I can't seem to stop thinking about it and I do love him dearly, but I can't wait forever. What to do??? Please help...it would be very appreciated!
Guest Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 I've never posted here before- but I wanted to let you know I am in a similar situation, and I know how frustrating it is. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost four years, and we started talking about marriage after just a few months of dating. That stupid saying haunts me- "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Other than this issue- our relationship is wonderful. I can't imagine my life without him, but I feel I am starting to get resentful at being strung along. I'm sorry for writing on your thread with no answers, but I wanted to let you know that all the things you are feeling are legitimate emotions and there is nothing wrong with you for wanting to move on to the next stage. Best of luck to you.
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