cjcurry Posted March 18, 2006 Posted March 18, 2006 Hi Everyone, First, some context. I've been interested in this girl for about a month, we are both graduate students, she is in English, I am in Biology. I know her through the student council at our university. I had mentioned to one of her friends that I liked her, and soon asked her to see a movie (she initially accepted, but declined later because of a volunteer commitment). Out of the blue I received an invite from her friends to join them at the pub one night to do trivia- my guess was that this was an attempt to set us up, but she only stayed for a short while. Her friends then invited me to her surprise birthday party the following evening (I couldn't go because I had another commitment). All in all though, I thought this was a good sign. We finally went out for a beer a couple nights ago. I thought we had a pretty good time - the conversation was steady, lots of eye contact, shared a plate of nachos and spent about 2 hours at the pub. As we were leaving I asked her out for a date, but her response was a bit confusing. It seemed like a "not right now"- she mentioned that she had ended a serious relationship several months prior, and that she would be going to England for a few weeks in April. She didn't rule out hanging out, but doesn't seem to want a date- at least right now. My confusion is this- sometimes people say this sort of thing because they want to let the other party down gently. I've heard similar lines before, but this time I'm not sure that "not right now" is code for "never", or if she really might be interested but just isn't ready. Obviously I'm not going to push for a date, but should I try to get to know her more? Or should I just wait for a month or two? Is she even interested?
TheSwordfish Posted March 19, 2006 Posted March 19, 2006 I think she;'s honest. the failed relationship thing is annoying, but the part of her going to England for a few months is a good reason that she doesn't wat a boyfriend right now. Leave her for now, and try it when she comes back or put soem more effort into it (well, not sure if thats teh way to go).
Shan n Posted March 19, 2006 Posted March 19, 2006 I think either way, if she's lying or not, you should wait and try again after her trip. Since you were invited by her friends to meet up and you had a 1 on 1 date with her makes me think she is somewhat interested. Don't give up just yet...there is hope! I truly think she is sincere. If she was not at all interested, she would not have spent the 1 on 1 time with you. Good luck!!! Shan n
huz68qog Posted March 19, 2006 Posted March 19, 2006 i agree that she's just being honest. and after a serious relationship who wants to jump right into another. she knows that your interested in her, so the best thing to do is chill. still kept in touch but remember what she needs right now is time and space. the only things you should be willing to offer her at this time, given her situation is friendship and a shoulder if needed. -huz68qog
Author cjcurry Posted March 19, 2006 Author Posted March 19, 2006 Thanks for your thoughts everyone. One note - it really is only a few weeks she will be gone, not a few months. I agree that in this case she is just being honest. I've just had a few experiences where the other party alludes to one hang up or another when really what they want to say is "nothing personal, but no thank you". Guess I just prefer straightforward answers BTW, ran into her at the supermarket this evening, and had a brief but pleasant chat!
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