TiffyDawn9 Posted March 17, 2006 Posted March 17, 2006 OK lately my fiancee has been going out a lot with all his single friends to bars and clubs.... I am at home pregnant with his child and he still leaves.. He promised me everything would change and were supposed to get married May 20th... He just wont grow up and I have tried to talk to him and he just gets mad.. What do i do??
blind_otter Posted March 17, 2006 Posted March 17, 2006 I would probably hold off on getting married, at least for a while. It doesn't bode well if he won't even talk with you about your concerns.
tikigods Posted March 17, 2006 Posted March 17, 2006 How old are you guys? It sounds to me that he wants to have fun and be young, and really doesn't sound like he is ready to be married much less a father. I agree with Otter if he won't even tlak about your issues with you then you need to hold off on doing anything else with him till he grows up
SincereOnlineGuy Posted March 19, 2006 Posted March 19, 2006 OK lately my fiancee has been going out a lot with all his single friends to bars and clubs.... I am at home pregnant with his child and he still leaves.. He promised me everything would change and were supposed to get married May 20th... He just wont grow up and I have tried to talk to him and he just gets mad.. What do i do?? The best advice we could give you, (best for your future that is), is to leave immediately, and go back to your parents' home to have the baby and get back on your feet. Of course you won't do such a thing, because you are invested too far in this lowly guy, but someone may as well put down in print what you really need to hear. If the guy isn't head-over-heels smitten by you when you're pregnant with his child and scheduled to marry him soon, then he never will be. Fact is that you deserve a lover who is that smitten by you !!
daphne Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 What he said. Honestly, you're going to continue nagging and that will drive him away. Walking away will either clear up the behavior, or move you towards someone who will love you. I don't believe this guy really does from his behavior.
amaysngrace Posted March 20, 2006 Posted March 20, 2006 i agree with the others on this one. if he is not treating you properly during your pregnancy, he may never. it is unfair of him to put you through the stress of his bad behavior while pregnant. i don't think he is thinking of you or your baby. some think unborn babies sense their mother's stress. a side bit of advice: give the baby whatever last name YOU have on the day of delivery. you'll be glad you did.
Tim'sAngel Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 a side bit of advice: give the baby whatever last name YOU have on the day of delivery. you'll be glad you did. Very good advice. I have done the same. Ok I can speak of experience on this. I got pregnant with a friend of mine who I had no intentions of ever being with romatically. We planned to marry only because we didn't know what else to do. I was smoking at the time and made the decision to stop and he told me he would stop to, but never did. And he would drink around me even tho he knew I couldn't and just do stupid immature stuff when here I was trying so hard to change my entire life for my baby. Ended up he backed out of the marriage and it was the best thing. I haven't really heard from him since then and went back home to live with my mother who helped me so much through my pregnancy and help me get back on my feet. Now I have found the love of my life who is really awesome with my son. If I would have married I would have regreted so terribly. It's a horrible misconception that you have to get married because you got pregnant. And don't be afraid that noone will want you if you have a kid. I have yet to meet a man that had a problem with it. Just make sure you work out the custody issues before you have the baby. I made it to where my son's "sperm donor" doesn't know where we are and I gave him my last name so just in case he does find me he doesn't have proof that it's his son because I don't want him to have any contact with him. Good luck!! PS If you don't like the behavior of your babys dad, remember that your child will see that behavior and run the risk of taking on the same if he doesn't change!!
Pinkerton3 Posted April 6, 2006 Posted April 6, 2006 I think if you think the relationship is worth saving, you two need to go to counseling to prepare for your family. He probably is scared and holding onto every last drop of 'boyhood'.....which is totally NORMAL. Sometimes to get things acrossed to a spouse, you have to have a unbiased third person see both sides and mediate. If he is not super excited about the idea, tell him its just part of parental planning, and it's only for the best for the family, so you both will know what to expect and how to be prepared for a complete life change. It's a very smart thing for parents to do for their families. Try it out and see what happens, you can get it through Christian based places for a great price, and they usually give you the option if you would like it to be spiratual or not, which is wonderful. Think about it and good luck!
prfrogkisser Posted April 6, 2006 Posted April 6, 2006 I have read all the post and i have to say i agree on two things: 1. He might be afraid of becoming a father and getting married. For anyone this is a huge change which requires a lot of responsabilities.There is nothing wrong with this. Men worry about the future too and he might be afraid to let you know. I have a brother who had a hard time realizing he had to grow up because he was going to be daddy. I have also seen this in the hugh grant movie where his girlfriend got pregnant. 2. Like most of everyone here has stated he might just not care. We dont know why he is acting like a jerk but only you know.Think of his behavior before you were married and now.Has he changed trastically? Did you decide to get married after you found out you were pregnant? If you dont feel in your heart you are ready you shouldnt get married.This of your child and what will be best for the baby. Honestly a man who loves you wouldnt go and leave you alone. Its up to you to decide but always keep inmind your baby will be from now on your top priority. Dont get into a marriage for the wrong reasons because girl it wont work. Good Luck:cool:
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