Cupcake Posted March 17, 2006 Posted March 17, 2006 My XBF from two years ago has begun contact again after exactly 1 year of no contact. Long story short... it was an LDR. I found out that he was cheating on me with another girl. I dumped him. There was NC for 6 months. He came to visit me for a weekend. We had sex. We talked about a second chance. Things were great for about three months. Then his new GF (the same girl he had cheated on me with) found out about us. She didn't dump him. So he asked me to back off awhile so he could break things off with her. He told me he didn't love her. But he had a lot of respect and care for her. I gave him space, but I didn't make any promises that I'd still be around. Now, a year later, he calls. In the past two weeks, he has called four times. We've only had one conversation. During that conversation (Monday), he told me his life has been hell for the past few months. He said his GF is a psycho b*tch who won't take no for an answer. He has dumped her but she calls him a thousand times a day. He changed his phone number and she started calling him at work. She almost caused him to lose his job. My response to my XBF was, "What does this have to do with me? Why are you calling me? It sounds like she is still a major part of your life. And if she's a drama queen, and you can't get rid of her, I definately don't want to be involved with you in any way." He told me not to over analyze anything. He was simply curious to know how I was doing. He didn't expect friendship, or anything serious. When the conversation ended, his curiousity was fulfilled. I made it clear that he shouldn't call back, ever. Expesially since he has drama in his life and he really doesn't know what he wants from me. Strangely, he called me again last night. I didn't answer. He called again today. I answered and asked what he wanted. He asked me "Why can't I reach out to you?" I didn't know what to say. I was busy so I told him it wasn't a good time to talk. And I hung up. I thought he would call me tonight so we could talk. But he didn't. Now I'm wondering, why is this happening? What does he want from me?
whichwayisup Posted March 17, 2006 Posted March 17, 2006 You're better off without him. He's probably regretting cheating on you, regretting the GIRL who he stupidly got involved with and now won't leave him alone, and he's missing you and the friendship. Do yourself a BIG favour. Don't fall for his crap. How have you been without him for a year? Happy? Moved on, feeling good? If so, then definately don't take him back. He needs to be alone for a while, you can't bounce in and out of relationships so fast unless you want high drama! And it sounds like he has it, big time. He is pushing his luck with you. Has he forgotten that HE cheated on YOU? You owe him NOTHING. Remember that.
Author Cupcake Posted March 18, 2006 Author Posted March 18, 2006 For the past year, my life has been, okay. I actually started another LDR last August 2005. It was great. I felt like I was on top of the world. I loved the guy. But he abandoned me. I haven't heard from him in three months. The few times I've tried to contact him, he blew me off. So he dumped me without giving me a reason. I was very sad at first. But now, I think I'm over it. Before meeting someone else, I was always hopeful that my XBF would "change" and come back to me. Right now, it doesn't really seem like he's comming back. It's more like he's playing games. I keep asking myself if he tells me that he wants me back, what will I say. But I don't know. If I had someone else in my life, I would definately tell him no. But it's been two years since we broke up. I've dated a lot and still haven't found anyone better. So I don't know what to do.
riobikini Posted March 18, 2006 Posted March 18, 2006 RE: Cupcake: " Now I'm wondering, why is this happening? What does he want from me? " Cupcake, you don't wanna know. Stay on defense and keep showing him that, -by not answering his annoying phone calls. -Rio
amaysngrace Posted March 18, 2006 Posted March 18, 2006 I've dated a lot and still haven't found anyone better. So I don't know what to do. cupcake, you may not know what to do but here is some advice on what NOT to do - don't settle. someone is out there for you. you said this guy use to have respect for his psycho gf, right? and he said it while he was cheating on her with you, right? this proves his words mean nothing. don't wait around expecting him to change. it won't happen. he cheats and he lies as far as i can see. surely there is somebody better than this for you out there. you just don't know him yet.
In Sync Posted March 18, 2006 Posted March 18, 2006 The best thing for you is to leave this dude alone. He's a loser. And the killer line in our post was this "But he had a lot of respect and care for her." OMG! He said this to you while having no problem disrepecting you...Surely you can find someone ekse more deserving of your time and love than this joker.
monkey00 Posted March 18, 2006 Posted March 18, 2006 sounds like a love triangle to me... ask yourself this: what do you want from him? & What dont you want from him? when you figure it out, talk to him.
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