Ronen Posted March 17, 2006 Posted March 17, 2006 I've been in my current relationship about 6 months and things are good. We're past the infatuation stage, and have moved into couplehood. In fact, we spend most of our free time together. The problem is, I still think about my ex, and it's been over 2 years since we broke up. Am I crazy? I'm not in contact with my ex, and I haven't seen him for almost a year (we don't even live in the same state...or same time zone for that matter! So why do I still secretly pine away for my ex (yes, he dumped me - if that's what you want to know). Is this normal stuff or a sign that the new guy isn't doing it for me?
Curmudgeon Posted March 17, 2006 Posted March 17, 2006 I don't know what it's a sign of but I certainly got over the ex, and I was married to her for 25 years.
oss91 Posted March 17, 2006 Posted March 17, 2006 Honestly, I don't know. I was forced to be single once again about three months ago by the girl I dated for six years. After two months, she begged for me to take her back, I said we could try and work things out, and three weeks later she changed her mind and decided she didn't want to work things out. Kind of sucks, but oh well. I told her I wasn't waiting this time, and I'm not. That being said, I think about her often, but it's a different kind of thinking. Thoughts of her no longer occupy my mind to the point of not being able to concentrate on other things, and wanting to get back together. It's seemed to have progressed to the point of where I still think about her, but it's more in the back of my mind and doesn't interfere with my daily life and activities. I'll not ever forget the memories and will apply what I learned about relationships and life, while with her, to my future life. So in that sense, I still haven't gotten over her, and yet I have. If that makes any sense.
riobikini Posted March 17, 2006 Posted March 17, 2006 RE: The problem is, I still think about my ex, and it's been over 2 years since we broke up. Am I crazy? I'm not in contact with my ex, and I haven't seen him for almost a year (we don't even live in the same state...or same time zone for that matter! So why do I still secretly pine away for my ex (yes, he dumped me - if that's what you want to know). Is this normal stuff or a sign that the new guy isn't doing it for me? You remember two things in life: the people who loved you and those whom you loved......and the people who hurt you and those whom you hurt. The 'filler' -the rest of what we remember- is made up of pockets of happiness, sadness, and shards of regret. Becoming involved in a new serious relationship may have prompted old fears, anxiety, and unresolved feelings of rejection to surface. Don't let these feelings damage the happiness quotient of your new relationship. Close the book on any remaining shreds of negative feelings concerning this past relationship by confronting the leftover feeling of rejection from being 'dumped' long ago, that you may have been harboring all this time. You do not need to involve him in order to do that. If counseling is needed to resolve it, seek it. -Rio
billskrill Posted March 18, 2006 Posted March 18, 2006 My ex broke up with me in September and I haven't seen her since early November. I have talked to her once in the past 4 months for about 30 mins over the phone when she called me. Since that phone call which was in early January I have found that I am no where near over her. I feel like something is wrong with me because I shouldnt be thinking about her as much as I do. I think that sometimes a special someone can touch you in a way to where you will never truely be over them...you will always have feelings in the back of your mind for her or him. She has been the only girl in my life who I have ever felt this way about and I just hope I can find someone else who I feel the way about as I felt about my ex.
Poconobob Posted March 19, 2006 Posted March 19, 2006 My ex broke up with me in September and I haven't seen her since early November. I have talked to her once in the past 4 months for about 30 mins over the phone when she called me. Since that phone call which was in early January I have found that I am no where near over her. I feel like something is wrong with me because I shouldnt be thinking about her as much as I do. I think that sometimes a special someone can touch you in a way to where you will never truely be over them...you will always have feelings in the back of your mind for her or him. She has been the only girl in my life who I have ever felt this way about and I just hope I can find someone else who I feel the way about as I felt about my ex. That is cool man, really well put. I was married 18 years, separated a year, and divorced now 6 months today and if you are human and truly "loved" then you'll miss. I wonder what the topic of the initial post was everyday and wonder that myself. Then again, I'm in the stage where we're "friends" and both have said we'd wished we had never moved to Pennsylvania and never divorced--though the words wished we'd never divorced have not come out directly, the words sure do dance around the flame. Good LUCK... and remember, love thy self first, never forget the good times, and live for today and not yesterday! bob
Dinnj1 Posted March 19, 2006 Posted March 19, 2006 You remember two things in life: the people who loved you and those whom you loved......and the people who hurt you and those whom you hurt. 1,2,3... I count 4 things here Rio- I would say... if you are pinin' over your ex from years and years ago??? Is it keeping you from giving 100% to the new guy? If it is, then you better work on getting over your ex... cause that's not fair to the new guy.
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