justwow16 Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 Alright this is new to me so I really need some advice. I have been dating my boyfriend since November 16, 2005 and I have really fallen for him. But then I got to know this other guy in school and I am starting to REALLY like him too. He acts like he likes me, but I don't know. We had went out today to the movies, just us two and ended up spending like 5 hours together in total just hanging around. When walking around outside for 2 hours I had one of the most fun times in my life. What should I do?
noclobber Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 Alright this is new to me so I really need some advice. I have been dating my boyfriend since November 16, 2005 and I have really fallen for him. But then I got to know this other guy in school and I am starting to REALLY like him too. He acts like he likes me, but I don't know. We had went out today to the movies, just us two and ended up spending like 5 hours together in total just hanging around. When walking around outside for 2 hours I had one of the most fun times in my life. What should I do? Date both of them, hang out more, see with who you feel the chemistry, and make it exclusive with that person!
Author justwow16 Posted March 16, 2006 Author Posted March 16, 2006 Date both of them, hang out more, see with who you feel the chemistry, and make it exclusive with that person! but i don't think THEY would be going for that.
noclobber Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 but i don't think THEY would be going for that. Why not? It's okay to date more than one person at a time. You can always make one of them exclusive.
Author justwow16 Posted March 16, 2006 Author Posted March 16, 2006 Why not? It's okay to date more than one person at a time. You can always make one of them exclusive. But I am 17 years old and teenagers these days don't think like that. To us, dating one or more person is sluttish. But I actually feel like I love my boyfriend and with this other guy I totally feel like wow. I could do the simplest thing with him and be so happy!
noclobber Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 But I am 17 years old and teenagers these days don't think like that. To us, dating one or more person is sluttish. But I actually feel like I love my boyfriend and with this other guy I totally feel like wow. I could do the simplest thing with him and be so happy! Are you sure the second guy feels the same way about you? It looks like you like the second guy more. If you are sure then break-up with your boyfriend and go for the second guy.
monkey00 Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 as much as i'd hate to be the bad guy here.. IMO, this is considered cheating. having lunch together is one thing, but going to the movies is another. But nowadays, everyone seems ot have a different opinion on what's cheating. if you guys are exclusive, keep it that way. if you want to date the other guy and be with the bf, tell the bf... if you dont want the bf, breakup. it's that simple, no thinking involved. But in the end its up to your morals, do what you deem is right or wrong.
MadDog Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 What's more important to you right now? Being in a serious, comitted relationship or having fun and dating different guys? I'd say at your age, it's more important to have fun instead of being too serious. You've got tons of time to be in a serious relationship. By the time you get to your mid 20's, that's all you'll basically be able to be in. MD
Author justwow16 Posted March 16, 2006 Author Posted March 16, 2006 as much as i'd hate to be the bad guy here.. IMO, this is considered cheating. having lunch together is one thing, but going to the movies is another. But nowadays, everyone seems ot have a different opinion on what's cheating. if you guys are exclusive, keep it that way. if you want to date the other guy and be with the bf, tell the bf... if you dont want the bf, breakup. it's that simple, no thinking involved. But in the end its up to your morals, do what you deem is right or wrong. May I ask how you take it as cheating? If we both went as friends and nothing happened, just lots of fun you would take it as cheating?
Author justwow16 Posted March 16, 2006 Author Posted March 16, 2006 What's more important to you right now? Being in a serious, comitted relationship or having fun and dating different guys? I'd say at your age, it's more important to have fun instead of being too serious. You've got tons of time to be in a serious relationship. By the time you get to your mid 20's, that's all you'll basically be able to be in. MD See I don't know right now and I think thats the problem. I want to do both in a way but I can't. Alot of people tell me I should just have fun and date around but I really feel for both these guys. I have known my boyfriend for like 3 years and the other guy just last month and I already feel so great with him.
MadDog Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 See I don't know right now and I think thats the problem. I want to do both in a way but I can't. Alot of people tell me I should just have fun and date around but I really feel for both these guys. I have known my boyfriend for like 3 years and the other guy just last month and I already feel so great with him. The fact that you've "got a thing" for 2 different guys tells me that you'd be happier keeping your options open right now. Otherwise you'll commit to one guy and not too long after that, you'll want to try being with another guy. Why deal with the eventual bad feelings that will result when you can just date around instead? MD
Author justwow16 Posted March 16, 2006 Author Posted March 16, 2006 The fact that you've "got a thing" for 2 different guys tells me that you'd be happier keeping your options open right now. Otherwise you'll commit to one guy and not too long after that, you'll want to try being with another guy. Why deal with the eventual bad feelings that will result when you can just date around instead? MD How would I bring that up to my boyfriend though. I have real feelings for him and vice versa. It's a real hard subject to bring up.
MadDog Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 Just be honest with him. Tell him you care about him but you aren't ready for a committed relationship. Make sure you apologize for hurting his feelings but it's better that you're honest with him than to continue to pretend to be committed to him when you' really don't want to be. It'll all work out for the best this way, I'm sure of it. MD
ddnnee Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 monkey00: yea, i think it is cheating too. but it depends on the girl's definition of "dating" or "seeing eachother". some girls think dating is not the same as bf/gf. It is sort of like "virgin" is a relative term to girls regardless of its true meaning. justwow: if i were you, i would like a good show. this is what you do. You date both of them for 1 month. then you setup a date with each of them at the same time at a park. when they arrive to meet you, they will meet eachother. then you have them FIGHT for your love. Oh this is so romantic... just like in the caveman times. Of course the winner gets your ovaries and the loser... well he isn't fit (survival of the fittest).
Author justwow16 Posted March 16, 2006 Author Posted March 16, 2006 Just be honest with him. Tell him you care about him but you aren't ready for a committed relationship. Make sure you apologize for hurting his feelings but it's better that you're honest with him than to continue to pretend to be committed to him when you' really don't want to be. It'll all work out for the best this way, I'm sure of it. MD But I am not pretending to be committed, I am committed to him. I just have feelings for someone else too and wanna commit with them also. It's alot harder than said.
Author justwow16 Posted March 16, 2006 Author Posted March 16, 2006 monkey00: yea, i think it is cheating too. but it depends on the girl's definition of "dating" or "seeing eachother". some girls think dating is not the same as bf/gf. It is sort of like "virgin" is a relative term to girls regardless of its true meaning. justwow: if i were you, i would like a good show. this is what you do. You date both of them for 1 month. then you setup a date with each of them at the same time at a park. when they arrive to meet you, they will meet eachother. then you have them FIGHT for your love. Oh this is so romantic... just like in the caveman times. Of course the winner gets your ovaries and the loser... well he isn't fit (survival of the fittest). Can you help me see why you think it is cheating? If it was just a movie and walking outside for a couple hours, where nothing happened and it was as two friends just were haning out. (Which is what he took it as)
blind_otter Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 Can you help me see why you think it is cheating? If it was just a movie and walking outside for a couple hours, where nothing happened and it was as two friends just were haning out. (Which is what he took it as) The issue is the emotional context of the meeting. You are catching feeligns for this other dude, so that is the difference. If you didn't feel the way you feel (which is why you are posting) it wouldn't be an issue. But if you want to be committed to one guy at a time, you're in dangerous, ambivalent territory because you could end up (if you continue hanging out with dude#2) having feelings for both, and in more of an emotional mess.
amaysngrace Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 justwow16...i apologize for doing this to you. i need to say something to B_O and there's no need for a reply. wow...
Author justwow16 Posted March 16, 2006 Author Posted March 16, 2006 The issue is the emotional context of the meeting. You are catching feeligns for this other dude, so that is the difference. If you didn't feel the way you feel (which is why you are posting) it wouldn't be an issue. But if you want to be committed to one guy at a time, you're in dangerous, ambivalent territory because you could end up (if you continue hanging out with dude#2) having feelings for both, and in more of an emotional mess. I kind of see that, but would it still be considered cheating if we went as friends and he said that throughout the day plenty of times. Also I am afriad I will start falling for this guy too much and find out he doesn't like me. But I just found out my close friend might like him too and he said he sort of likes her....I hate this
Author justwow16 Posted March 16, 2006 Author Posted March 16, 2006 justwow16...i apologize for doing this to you. i need to say something to B_O and there's no need for a reply. wow... Sorry for what?
blind_otter Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 I kind of see that, but would it still be considered cheating if we went as friends and he said that throughout the day plenty of times. Also I am afriad I will start falling for this guy too much and find out he doesn't like me. But I just found out my close friend might like him too and he said he sort of likes her....I hate this I'm sure that you've heard that old saying "actions speak louder than words." It doesn't matter what he said, or even what he feels. Because YOU are catching feelings for dude#2 -- this isn't about him, it's about YOU and the choices you are making. You are ambivalent about your relationship with your BF. Honestly, this isn't fair to him. How would you feel if the situation was reversed, and you stumbled upon an email from your BF talking about how he's hanging out with a female friend, he has feelings for her, doesn't know if she feels the same, but doesn't know how to deal with feeling for you and a new girl? What would you advise your BF, if he were in your situation?
Author justwow16 Posted March 16, 2006 Author Posted March 16, 2006 I'm sure that you've heard that old saying "actions speak louder than words." It doesn't matter what he said, or even what he feels. Because YOU are catching feelings for dude#2 -- this isn't about him, it's about YOU and the choices you are making. You are ambivalent about your relationship with your BF. Honestly, this isn't fair to him. How would you feel if the situation was reversed, and you stumbled upon an email from your BF talking about how he's hanging out with a female friend, he has feelings for her, doesn't know if she feels the same, but doesn't know how to deal with feeling for you and a new girl? What would you advise your BF, if he were in your situation? I would advise him to do what makes him happier. My boyfriend doesn't know about this yet though. My friend tells me to not move on anything and leave everything how it is, but sometimes I don't know if thats what I want...
Author justwow16 Posted March 17, 2006 Author Posted March 17, 2006 I had told the guy I like that I like him and he agrees how im in a complicated situation with my boyfriend and my friend liking him and him sort of liking my friend.
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