Author Raven1845 Posted March 16, 2006 Author Posted March 16, 2006 Well... can you start to believe that you mean alot to all of us here on this thread so this is why we don't want you to get hurt by breaking NC? A big hug for you (((IN SYNC))) Thank you.
Ariadne Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 Tell me not to break NC . . . PLEASE!!! NC only works when you feel like doing it. When for some reason you have nothing to say or hear from your ex. Other than that, I noticed that the effect that NC has is similar to having a broken leg and making a hole in the ground and burying it. So when you feel the pain you add more dirt and rocks to it hoping that it'll go away. 4 months, 5 months go by and people are still in the same pain. Ariadne
Cappe Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 Well I wish people would stop using my name as a term of endearment Raven, it gets easier the longer you stick with it. It takes 8 weeks to break that habit. Ok,kitten (see what I did there? lol )
In Sync Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 Tell me not to break NC . . . PLEASE!!! NC only works when you feel like doing it. When for some reason you have nothing to say or hear from your ex. Other than that, I noticed that the effect that NC has is similar to having a broken leg and making a hole in the ground and burying it. So when you feel the pain you add more dirt and rocks to it hoping that it'll go away. 4 months, 5 months go by and people are still in the same pain. Ariadne I do agree that NC works when you feel like doing it, but sometimes in life you need to do the action first despite how you feel and have the belief it will work. Do it in spite of yourself. When going through such an emotional withdrawal, we can't wait to feel like doing it, because while we are waiting, we end up digging a bigger hole in the ground and continue breaking NC and continue feeling worse and worse and worse. That 5 months of pain to me is just 5 months of the aftermath of recovering. Or reebuilding. How you choose to rebuild yourself is in your hands. But adding on one more memory of fruitless effort, breaking NC over and over, that's downright dwindling your self esteem and creating, new memories of rejection by the ex, which you now have to overcome to me that's continuous pain...in my view NC is priceless. Doing NC in the face of
Ariadne Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 When going through such an emotional withdrawal It is a big emotional withdrawal. So you have to understand why you are doing it. If you haven't solved half of your issues you have to finish that business first and then you'll feel ready to move on. Otherwise nc is not going to solve your problem. If you are hoping to come back to the other person and this person doesn't want anything to do with you, you are not understanding. If you are afraid the person is going to mess up with your head if you talk to her, you are not understanding. Find peace first, Ariadne
In Sync Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 When going through such an emotional withdrawal It is a big emotional withdrawal. So you have to understand why you are doing it. If you haven't solved half of your issues you have to finish that business first and then you'll feel ready to move on. Otherwise nc is not going to solve your problem. If you are hoping to come back to the other person and this person doesn't want anything to do with you, you are not understanding. If you are afraid the person is going to mess up with your head if you talk to her, you are not understanding. Find peace first, Ariadne YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT that if you haven't solved half your issues you have to finish business first. But in terms of NC, when you are going through the withdrawals (like some addicts from drugs) first the drugs have to go. Stop snorting, or drinking, remove yourself from the "drug". You can then simultaneously start learning and uncovering your issues. But while in pain the first action is to stop going to the source of your pain. You can't look into your issues while you are running towards the fire. My own personal experience in this was, on that final days with the ex, I kept trying to contact the X and begged and pleaded. (Didn't understand NC at all) I read about NC here on LS and did it! That was my beginning. But at the time when I was craving any contact in my fetal position crying for the ex, I was in no way able to say objectively what my underlying issues were. DO THE NC, and hand in hand simultaneously start exploring what NC is meant for.
Author Raven1845 Posted March 16, 2006 Author Posted March 16, 2006 how are things today Raven? A little better, hurtbeyondwords. Thank you. How about you?
hurtbeyondwords Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 I am actually much better. someone reminded me of my worth and it really helped. I am smiling and that's a good start:) Im glad to hear that you are better, I was hitting some low points last night and was wondering how you were doing.
fooled Posted March 17, 2006 Posted March 17, 2006 :lmao:Why Fooled, you naughty, naughty boy, you! LOL!!! Yes, I am channeling my anger into comedy. And naughtiness.
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