azazello Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 total player and a committment phobe thats such BS though. Just because he doesn't settle down with one woman in a house with a picket fence and 10 kids?
blind_otter Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 some men just love women that much. its not about collecting, you can just be very much into passionate quick relationships and get bored easily. Whats wrong with that? I take it this is a rhetorical question, but I'll answer anyways. Those types of relationships are not relationships at all, but self-involved ego trips where the men that "just love women that much" are actually looking at them as objects that are extensions of said men -- useful only for a bit of diversion and physical gratification. Approaching a woman with that attitude is potentially damaging to both parties -- as a living being is not an object-extension of another, but a separate entity with thoughts/feelings that the individual who uses her as an object-extension is heedless of. It's basically retarding your own emotional growth to continue to look at people as extensions of yourself who are only useful for a momentary diversion. Now, if you disclose your relationship goal prior to becoming involved and TELL the woman you're only interested in a bit of diversion and sex, that's fine. Whatever. But to do otherwise is an indication, to me, of a high level of self deception.
Author BlahBlahQueen Posted March 15, 2006 Author Posted March 15, 2006 He is addicted to beautiful women, I'd wager. Some men like to have "collections" it makes them feel more manly. Well, I know for a fact he doesn't collect hot chicks necessarily, he collects art chicks. How would you explain that? I'm thinking he's a more dysfunctional version of the rest of us hardcore right-brains and we fill an inspiration void in him, albeit temporarily, somehow... Why why why, the uberlover butterfly...
blind_otter Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 Oooh. Maybe he's a creativity leech? I've known a few of those.
Author BlahBlahQueen Posted March 15, 2006 Author Posted March 15, 2006 Oooh. Maybe he's a creativity leech? I've known a few of those. In that case, I can't talk s*** at all. I do the exact same thing. I guess, then, I deserve it. Told you I met my match, for better or for worse. All the damage I've caused now comes back to bite me in the arse.
No Stress Lady Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 thats such BS though. Just because he doesn't settle down with one woman in a house with a picket fence and 10 kids? LOL - but the OP clearly seems to want it to be more than just a quick fling - maybe she doesn't but that's how I interpreted it - I personally have no issues at all with anyone being a player - I've been a hell of player myself in the past, not wanting commitment at times either. I'm just thinking in the context of the post......you'll note that I said if she's up for a lust-filled fling then she should go for it!!!!!! By the way azazello did you ever ask that girl at work out in the end?!!!!
noclobber Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 I felt like I just finished watching a passionate movie after reading your post It's very evident that you love this guy so much and its apparent that he is a player. Did you consider being FWB with him? Don't know how comfortable you are with that thing but guess that would work best for both you guys. Keep us posted.
tanbark813 Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 You can't fall in love in 5 days. I think you just crave the drama.
Author BlahBlahQueen Posted March 15, 2006 Author Posted March 15, 2006 You can't fall in love in 5 days. I think you just crave the drama. You're partially right. Read my exchange with B_O about the peak experiences thing. But I can, do, and will fall in love in 5 days. It's happened before, it'll happen again...
amerikajin Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 BlahBlahQueen, You kick ass! You reveal yourself as someone with a lot of depth, both in terms of intellect and character. I think maybe you're attracted to 'the show'. This guy is one of those dudes who literally lives his life like a show, as if he's a rock band traveling from one place to the next, dropping in on his port of call and picking up chicks like some midshipman with serious 'game'. Just step back and see things for how they really are. Maybe this is one of those times when you can preface things with a friendship and see where it goes first. As you see more of each other, you'll both reveal yourselves. The thing this guy's got in his favor, he seems honest - he's not lying to you about who he is, so the guy's not a total dud. Definitely proceed with caution, though.
noclobber Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 Europe will knock the numbness right out of you, so you're essentially trading the rock for the hard place Hey, you want a quick laugh? Check it out. This is the guy. hey BBQ, how old is this guy? looks quite young.
Author BlahBlahQueen Posted March 16, 2006 Author Posted March 16, 2006 hey BBQ, how old is this guy? looks quite young. Doesn't he? He'll be 38 in two weeks. Looks not a day over 30. Hawt. The thing this guy's got in his favor, he seems honest - he's not lying to you about who he is, so the guy's not a total dud. I think he's been fairly honest because I put up such a nonchalant front about everything. He sees me as independent, secure, good-natured, and consequently nonjudgemental (because that's how I meant to portray myself - show no weakness) when in reality I'm picking apart his every move. He does tend to lie by omission *sometimes*. Probably less than the average person. On a side note, he messaged me tonight. I'm trying. It's difficult to resist. I think I'll take the advice of two or three people here and try to maintain an FWB situation, not expecting anything. Besides, he couldn't get me to commit to him if he tried. The prospect of ending up like his other wenches is ridiculously unacceptable. I told him from the start and I was being dead honest.
Mary3 Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 I think you are strong confidant and an amazing woman ! Now part of me wants to say " Go Play with him ~! ( that tempting luscious man... ) And the other part wants to scream " Warning Heart Breaker Ahead " I say go for the moments of sheer passion because this man seems like he likes the ladies admiration. Playa Dat ! Don't look for him to plant a garden in your back yard , lol Now, I dont know if I would do the FWB with him . Because you KNOW you will develop even deeper feelings and well....he seems like he needs a ship in every port ! I would go for the very casual sex....The :I can't stand it anymore I have to have you sex " Stuff like that....
JayKay Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 OK, I couldn't read through every post (time constraints) so forgive any redundancy... But a man-whore who 'falls just way too easily' is a dime a dozen, hon. He doesn't use the women, he truly falls for them. The way he speaks of them, you can tell he means it inside his own head. He just falls for way too many of them. My best friend dated a poet/musician/artist/visionary type who travelled the world, ravishing many a wonderful woman along the way. He was a true charmer, who spoke 3 languages and had stories galore; he entertained a small, aboriginal village with his harmonica tunes! He played soccer with a prince in spain! He loved mankind....just plain loved everybody. He soul was too big and too colorful and too overflowing to just....er...LIMIT it...to one woman. He needed to share. All good and well. Until my best friend says, "Well, I did it. Like a stupid jackass...I fell in love with him. He stayed here for 2 months, talked about looking for a job here and then....well, up and left. He not only left, he left me with a dirty hosue and a sinkful of dirty dishes to boot." Sometimes, these special visionaries forget one little thing; their behavior affects others. They are often in love with their own image; the image of the visionary, the image of the one who loves all mankind. It's hard for them to really listen to and relate to another human being. Because they are so clever, charming and unique...it's very difficult to call them on their own bulls***. "Hey dude...you're a narcissist." I think the man whore may need to hear that.
NatoPMT Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 That first post was dangerous. i read it and went into a tail spin, i am now planning all sorts for the rest of my life which involve putting my Property magazine in the recycling bin. Just the fact i said 'recycling' shows i am not really up to the bohemian life i just foresaw in my haze of being high on someone elses fun. Damnit. BO get yourself over to Europe, id be happy to show you round London and get you in all sorts of notrouble.
Author BlahBlahQueen Posted March 16, 2006 Author Posted March 16, 2006 So wait, let me get this straight, I have your approval to date/screw a guy who has a girlfriend? Does the moral majority find this appropriate? I've never done this before. It always just seemed so wrong somehow.
basscatcher Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 So wait, let me get this straight, I have your approval to date/screw a guy who has a girlfriend? Does the moral majority find this appropriate? I've never done this before. It always just seemed so wrong somehow. Heres my .02: I think you need to be true to YOUR morals and values about being involved with someone who is already involved with someone or you will have your own concious pestering you. I think you are feeling lonely in your inner world as a artist and this guy has many inner things in common with you and there is great physical chemistry but playing with it will lead you to heart break. You have already expressed your feelings toward this man and how hard it is to resist his charm and attention. You already showed you don't have any self control when you are near him and you are already in this debate over what has happened here in LS. You are making your own drama and it is a adreniline fix. You can create your own drug addiction by this rush from the drama of you wanting him, you resisting him, then you feeling dirty and the cycle begins... Girlie--you need to put space between you and Mr. Lover-around-the-world.. He will break your heart.... You have expressed already that you were already telling your head to lead you and not your heart... This is a sure sign of you setting yourself for a dream... Sorry if I sound harsh--BUT WAKE UP AND GET OUT OF YOUR CINDERELLA COMPLEX... He already told you that he has 2 other women. You already heard his reputation is a man-whore. Your instincts already have been telling you to run.... So listen to the truth... It sounds like you are a romantic and they fall fast and hard and get hurt the worst.. Some of the other posters say to play him.. I don't think this is wise with your emotional attachment already.. You wont' be able to keep yourself from falling in love with him.. You need to pick yourself up and move on.. There is a man out there who has his charm, who is artistic, who can photograph you and speak to you about things you share in common... This man lives in the moment and once he is on his journey he will play at the next PORT OF AUTHORITY and you won't be in his mind it will be the next women standing in front of his camera lens... I'll bet he doesn't think past what is in the view of his eye... !! Save yourself more disspair and heartbreak--end it.. As for his roommate-your friend-- tell him what happened in so many words and let him know that it doesn't have to affect your friendship but you can't be around his roommate until things cool down and you both have moved onto other horizons... If you don't move away from this guy you will be posting lots more on LS and you will waste more hours of your life on this dude who is another casanova-julio iglasis....
Author BlahBlahQueen Posted March 16, 2006 Author Posted March 16, 2006 Touche. Umm, on Tuesday morning, my friends took off on tour. They're making their rounds of the Eastern US for a month. They're all sleeping on the communal bed in a van. They invited me to come along, but I said I'd be crazy to sleep in a van with three other people for a month. And I'd just hooked up with Frank and didn't want to leave him behind. Now I'm starting to regret that decision. They'll be in Decatur in two days. That gives me enough time to buy a bus ticket and join up with them for the rest of the tour. They are amazing people, they play wonderful music, and bizarre times always follow them around. I think this would be a great way to break my mind of the Frank addiction. Nothing in this city is really holding me back right now. I can go if I want to. Do you think I should take the plunge?
amerikajin Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 Mmmm...I somehow skimmed over the part about his having a girlfriend. Well, I'll put it this way, I think it's okay to advertise that you're 'for sale', so to speak, but I think once you've made your pitch, you have to back off - it's only fair to her. But hey, if he sees someone he likes better, well, you can't help it if that someone is you. If he comes after you, let it happen; just don't actively pry them apart. I think that's ethical enough.
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