sweetjess1205 Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 my boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years and 3 months living together for 6 months. we talk about marrage, children, everything. i want to get married and he knows that, he says he does too but i don't think so. he says he wants to make sure he can take care of me , but we take care of each other and we are doing very well at it. is he just making exuses? december we will be together for 4 years , not counting the year we were friends before that. should i give him an altamadum or just stop talking about it, and go with the flow?
amaysngrace Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 i would just go with the flow. he probably means he wants to take care of you financially, and would like to get comfortably accomplished before getting married. i think he's smart to do that actually. if he feels as though he isn't providing for you properly down the road, it will cause him stress and that can make for problems within your marriage...or he wants you to be surprised when he pops the question...or BOTH!!
tikigods Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 If this is something that you are willing to lose a good relationship for then GO FOR it tell him to marry you, force him to do something that he has shown he has no intrest in doing right now thats the way to start something wonderful with eachother. In all serousness I would suggest chatting with him, telling him what you think, but don't scare him into marring you by telling you will leave or not, just let your thoughts be known.
No Stress Lady Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 my boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years and 3 months living together for 6 months. we talk about marrage, children, everything. i want to get married and he knows that, he says he does too but i don't think so. he says he wants to make sure he can take care of me , but we take care of each other and we are doing very well at it. is he just making exuses? december we will be together for 4 years , not counting the year we were friends before that. should i give him an altamadum or just stop talking about it, and go with the flow? Only issue an ultimatum if you're fully prepared for the "wrong" answer - if he says he's not ready what are you going to do? Do you think you're strong enough to walk away? In my opinion ultimatums are a last resort - if you issue one but don't follow through you've seriously undermined your own credibility and you'll seem weak and easily compromised. You've only been living together or a short time and to be honest, I think moving in is not necesarily a good idea if you're waiting for marriage - he's got you where he wants you already so why's he going to rush to get married?!!!!!
Sassy Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 Tell him to sh@@ or get off the pot!! Ask him what are his intentions of you after 4 yrs? It is time for him to make a decision if he can't after 4 yrs then you need to decide if this is what you want . Just tell him how you are feeling and go from there. Good luck
justagirliegirl Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 Yikes! I read in your other post you bought a house with him?! If he was willing to buy a house what other taking care of you is he talking about? Really I think you should have hell off buying a house with him and moving in with him until you got a ring and a date. Right now you have no leverage at all and are pretty much stuck with status quo from making a major financial investment with him. I was orginally going to suggest moving out but you cant really do that now because of the house. I think the question you need to ask yourself is are you willing to stay with him if he never proposes to you? Sure he has a right not to but you have a right to get what you want too and in these cases the guy gets everything he wants without marriage and you get wishy washy.
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