fatty Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 Hello, I have been on and off this forum for the longst time and have am in need of it. Me and my ex-girlfriend have been broken up for one year and I am still unable to move on. The reason it is so difficult is because I do not know who I am anymore. I treated her like s*** towards the end, I f***ed everything up in the relationship and just plain ol broke her heart in a million pieces. Now I am unable to cope with the feeling that I have damaged/hurt a person who is soo loving. Every day I can't stop thinking about how good she was to me and I just threw all of it out the window. I dont know what to do? She gave me chances but I never seem to learn from my mistake and fear that I never will. I am completely lost in who I actually am now because the way I treated her I would never have done that to anyone. I am confused and would like an opnion of a guy who did thier girlfriend wrong and how they coped with thier guilty feeling. I feel the need to apologize to her but it is so shallow of me to ask her forigveness after I have done her wrong so bad. So any guys in the house willing to share or lend a hand to me.
whats wrong with me Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 Wow, its not very often whenI see a man "come clean". bumpin your thread
KittenMoon Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 I'm not a guy, but I think if you can apologize without expecting her to forgive you, it will help you move on. The simple act of apology can help you get closure. She may not forgive you, but after a year she may also gets a renewed sense of closure and finality. As a girl, if I got a truly heartfelt apology that didn't have any ulterior motive, it would make me have a much better opinion of someone. Guys don't seem to realize how much showings of mature emotions can mean to a girl. I say just do it. Write her a letter or an email if that is easier than seeing her (which could potentially stir up old anger or sadness). Apologize and I think whether or not she forgives you, you will feel better for having done it.
skeptik224 Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 I agree with KittenMoon. I was actually in a similar situaion about 1 1/2 years ago. I treated this girl I dated poorly. When I was with her, I was totally with her, but I was always looking to see if the grass was greener. After my most recent break-up which devastated me made me think about the past. I sent the person I treated poorly an e-mail saying how bad I felt and explained my emotions. Karma came back and bit me in the butt. I truly, truly felt terrible and feel that I may not have given her the chance I should have. (this part I didn't tell her) She's in a happy relationship now with a person I know that will treat her the way she deserves to be treated...much better than I did that's for sure. She was extremely receptive of my e-mail. We now talk maybe once a week via e-mail and are slowly starting a friendship. (we were friends at the start) Don't send the e-mail expecting your ex to forgive you. Send it because you truly are sorry for what you did. She'll appreciate it.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 Apologize to her -- send an email or write a letter. You might not get her back, but that shouldn't be your motivation. The motivation should be that you want to make amends for how you hurt her. And if she's anything like me, she may still be haunted by your undeserving treatment, and she will appreciate it the apology if she doesn't wish to reply. And for you, it will help you to resolve your feelings of guilt.
Guest Posted March 17, 2006 Posted March 17, 2006 My boyfriend of one year and I broke it off this week. He was, what i thought, one of the best guys in the world... help stranded motorists, give money to the poor, etc. treated me like a queen in the beginning... these last few weeks he's hurt me beyond words. he hung up on me every conversation, told me to shut up and that he was talking, never committed to hanging out with me, etc.... he treated me like the scum of the universe.. and if i feel anything like your ex felt...she deserves an apology. i'm sure she loved you dearly, and probably thinks of you and what went wrong often. yeah it's been a year for her...but it's hard to forget someone you loved so much, and it's also hard to forget how bad they treated you when all you did was love them. for me this is the hardest thing in the world for me.... my ex was my world and nobody has ever treated me as badily as i let him.
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