hurtbeyondwords Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 Im ready to lose it!! I can't handle not talking to my EX. I miss her more than Ive ever missed anyone. I'm not ready to be her friend as I still cry at the thought of her so I know that NC is best for me right now. I am having a horrible time not knowing how she is.... On the verge of breaking NC, Im afraid that Im not thinking straight... I feel like my mind if fighting with my heart...
UT_longhorn Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 hey man. DON'T DO IT!!!! I'll tell you a few reasons why. Why do you think she hasn't called you? Most likely, cause she's very serious about the break up and does not want you back. From my experience and reading everyone else's experience in breaking NC...its almost 99% going to make you sorry you did. It'll hurt more than you are at this point. Think about it this way. You will most likely have contact with her in the future. Wether it be months or years from now. But before that time you must be completely healed...which from your post .. you are not. The less you know about her, the better off you are. Even if you find out a little bit of information about her...it'll make you go crazy analyzing every bit of information you hear. Remember ... she has your contact info and she hasnt done so. She's making it very clear where she stands. Focus on yourself. Go out and run. Go rent a engrossing movie. Go have dinner with friends or folks. This may sound pretty fruity, but I watched almost every freaking episodes of Sex and the City. Just to get my mind off of her. Do something...but dont contact her.
qnmc Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 Amen to that, DO NOT BREAK NC. It will only hurt things. Think about it for a minute, what do you hope to accomplish? Odds are you want her back right? Have you ever been in a position where someone has come begging for you take them back? It's not very attractive. In your emotional state, how do you think you'll come off? Trust me, brother, I've been there. You want to come out of this with your dignity in tact. You want to look back on this experience with as little cringing as possible. DO NOT BREAK NC, nothing good will come of it. If she wants to come back to you, it has to be of her own volition. You trying to talk her into it will serve to only push her away. I feel your pain, man. What you may need is a breakup buddy - someone to call instead of her. You can have multiple, b-buddies (i do), and they can be friends, family, whatever. Bottom line: she does not deserve to feel better about the breakup at your expense, knowing how bad you are hurting.
Author hurtbeyondwords Posted March 14, 2006 Author Posted March 14, 2006 I know, I know!!! She did email me once and I didnt respond. Im not sure if she would again.... I just cant take this. Forgetting someone that meant the world to me is the hardest thing Ive ever had to do!! Im tired of crying and wondering. I really want to know that she is ok..
Author hurtbeyondwords Posted March 14, 2006 Author Posted March 14, 2006 "I am just writing to check up on you. I want you to know that I don't like the way that we left things. I know that you emailed me and left it in my hands to contact you. But you also said in it that you weren't able to be just my friend, so I am unsure of what to say or do. I feel like it's not fair to ask you to try to be a friend if you are not ready, but I also feel like it's not fair to make you feel like I have just forgotten about you. You are still important to me and I care about what is going on in your life. With that being said, I really have no right to request anything from you so I understand if there is nothing more to be said."
qnmc Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 As an objective reader of her email, I'm sorry to say that there doesnt appear to be anything here for you man. All that will end up happening by contacting her is the following: 1) you will more or less beg for her to come back 2) you will only push her away and may actually reinforce why she wanted to break up in the first place 3) you will lose a major chunk of your dignity When looking back on this relationship, do you want her to remember you as a good guy but a shame it didn't work or as that wuss-bag who begged her for another chance? Honestly, NC is the only way. I know that every fiber of your being wants to contact her, I've been there. What's really happening is that you, just like I did, are projecting your feelings on to her, thinking "how can she not feel as strongly as I do for her?" It's her actions that you need to pay attention, not her words or your feelings. She decided to end things. You need to respect that decision and stay away. I completely understand what you're going through man. When I look back I am so glad that I did not break NC. I actually ran into her the other day and felt infinitely stronger than I would have had I gotten in touch with her when my emotions were riding at their highest. You have to go on faith here that what I'm telling you is the best way.
riobikini Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 qnmc & UT_Longhorn: 'Ditto'! excellent post(s) and grrrreat advice! (Smile) -Rio
monkey00 Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 qnmc makes a good point. NC, ok its good. But as he said, how do you want your ex to remember you? as the wuss bag/desperate guy. or the guy that doesnt need her and moved on with his life who has his sh*t together. i made that mistake with my ex, however i recovered and said goodbye on good terms, thus salvaging my dignity. no matter how many mistakes you make down this road, you have to pull yourself backup and remind yourself you dont need her. and there are better women out there.
Author hurtbeyondwords Posted March 14, 2006 Author Posted March 14, 2006 Im ok, by ok I mean that I didnt contact her. Thank you everyone for your advice and concerns. I made it through the night without contacting her but still feel horrible. I exhausted myself at the gym so I was lucky to get some sleep. Unfortunatly my dreams were filled with her... let's hope that today is a better day.
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