Shyguy86 Posted March 13, 2006 Posted March 13, 2006 I've been with my girlfriend for about a year now and I'm no longer attracted to her in "that" way. I still care for her but it's more like we're just friends now. I told her I didn't like her anymore about two months ago and she cried a lot and I didn't have the heart to break up with her. For some reason she acts like that never happened. My worry is, is that she lives in the same town as me which is quite small and I'm worried it will be awkward seeing her parents in town or even seeing her. We hang out with the same group of friends and will most likely see each other again. I'm starting to find myself being attracted to other people and I'd really like to end the relationship. But I don't want her to be devistated. I know you're all probably going to tell me to grow a spine and just do it. But is there an easier way so her feelings wont be as hurt? I don't want to spring out of nowhere and say "I want to break up". Any advice
KittenMoon Posted March 13, 2006 Posted March 13, 2006 Do not draw it out. Quick is best. Tell her exactly what you have said- that you feel more like friends than lovers and you want to end the relationship. Do NOT mention wanting to see other people- guys need to understand that if you even mention another hypothetical person it's devastating. That you will be moving on is implied in the break up. Tell her, end it, be nice, give her a friendly hug but be firm and leave. Initiate no contact and stick to it as best you can, no matter how bad you feel. If you have to talk to her after, be couteous and caring but stand firm on your decision. If she keeps asking "why" repeat the above until she gets it. DO NOT embellish, and again don't mention other people! DO NOT just run out and date other people immediately if you suspect it will get back to her or you will run into people who will tell her. Be courteous to her self-esteem and give it a month or two. If you care about her, respect her. Be firm on your decision but don't say or do things that will cause her excess pain.
tikigods Posted March 13, 2006 Posted March 13, 2006 Breaking up is like a bandaid, its better if you do it fast. Now prepare yourself though, cause she is going to cry again, and beg, and pleade and otherwise make you feel like a horrible person for doing this, but its not fair for you or her to stay in this relationsip. The sooner you end it the better. I agree with what Kitten said
qnmc Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 First read this and make sure you're breaking up for the right reasons: http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-3300.html If you still want to break up, read this: http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_100/112_dating_girl.html
MadDog Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 I can't believe you just said, "I don't like you anymore," made her cry, and that was it. You didn't do anything besides make her feel badly. To top it off, she probably thinks you two are going to work out since you're still together. Just be straight with her. Tell her you still care about her a lot but a relationship isn't going to work out between the two of you as your feelings for her have changed. You can't stay with her and eventually marry her just because things will be awkward the next time you run into her parents post-breakup. MD
Author Shyguy86 Posted March 14, 2006 Author Posted March 14, 2006 Thanks guys, I'll beat around the bush for a couple of days until I find the spine to do this. It's much much easier being broken up with! But I guess life's like that Thanks again!
destination_unknown Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 I'll beat around the bush for a couple of days until I find the spine to do this. It's much much easier being broken up with! Grow up and tell her the truth.
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