Guinevere04 Posted March 13, 2006 Posted March 13, 2006 We broke up two weeks ago. I ignored his calls and text messages because I really didnt have anything to say to him. I have gotten really tired of him bitching at me every time we talk. So after the first week of nc, he came to my work, which he has never done in 1 1/2 years. He looked so precious I just wanted to squeeze him. He kept begging me to take time and not to completely lose hope in us. He called for a day or so, but it was the same thing, fuss fuss fuss. He called this past friday and was bragging about going to the beach for the weekend. Wow, I'm so jealous. He didnt try to contact me all weekend, then this morning he called my work and cell phone and wanted to meet me for lunch. I feel so mean ignoring him. But our conversations lead no where. He will leave me messages saying that its important please call him as soon as I can. I wait several hours but the suspense kills me because I dont want him to be hurt or anything. Then I will call and he says, he didnt need me anymore or he forget what was so important. I think he is just in such a habit of talking to me 100 times a day and being with me all the time, that its just hard to get out of. I feel the same way, but I am tired of the arguing. I did not call him back about lunch today and I will not call him back when he leaves "important" messages, I just feel so mean because I have cared about him for so long.
CaliGuy Posted March 13, 2006 Posted March 13, 2006 If you are using NC to move on then stop answering his calls or messages completely. Use it to heal and move on.
Author Guinevere04 Posted March 15, 2006 Author Posted March 15, 2006 I have done well not talking to him. But tonight as I am in bed, my doorbell rings. I looked out of the window, without my glasses and I thought it was my sister. I didnt ask who it was because we just dont do that around here, plus I honestly thought it was her, same size and color of car. But it was him, he was drunk. He said that he just wanted to check on me. I told him that I was fine and he needed to worry about himself. He kept saying how he messed everything up and how much he loved me and that I was the most wonderful girl in the world. I tried not to say alot except how tired I was and that I hope he made it home alright. He wanted to stay because he said that he couldnt drive, he lives in a different city. He started getting really pushy about staying and I started getting pushy about him going, then he pulled my glasses off my face and said he was staying. My three year old was in his bed and I was not having this, so I called the police. He left but he took my cell phone with him. He came back and kicked my door in and threw my phone at me. I called the police again, he left again and came back one more time. I took my son and we went to my parents' across the street because my door wouldnt lock now. The deputy came over there and asked if I wanted to press charges but I told him that I didnt but to make sure he understood that he was to never come back because he would not have any more chances. They couldnt give him a DUI because when they found him he was in the passenger side of his car in a church parking lot. So he said they would tow his car and have him call someone to pick him up at the station. I told the deputy to make sure he knew not to contact me anymore. One hour later, I had a blocked call on my cell phone. Let's guess? So now my mom thinks I should have charged him for busting up my door and file a restraining order. I dont know what to do. I dont want to be scared every night, but I want to give him the chance to just leave me alone on his on accord. I never thought that he would behave like that so maybe I should do something legally. I dont know. I just wish he would have stayed away quietly.
jerbear Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 Stick with NC and ZC if possible. I would charge him for the door and assault; just to send a message that you mean business but drop the charges IF he agrees to leave you alone. If he is violent while drunk and wants to stay over, that is wrong of him. Besides what else would he do if you two were together. Consider filing for a restraining order on him.
magda Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 If he doesn't drink often, maybe you'll be okay. He should be feeling properly humiliated in the morning. If you think he might continue drinking and acting out, I'd go with the legal action because there's no telling what he'll do, then.
SmoochieFace Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 I have done well not talking to him. But tonight as I am in bed, my doorbell rings. I looked out of the window, without my glasses and I thought it was my sister. I didnt ask who it was because we just dont do that around here, plus I honestly thought it was her, same size and color of car. But it was him, he was drunk. He said that he just wanted to check on me. I told him that I was fine and he needed to worry about himself. He kept saying how he messed everything up and how much he loved me and that I was the most wonderful girl in the world. I tried not to say alot except how tired I was and that I hope he made it home alright. He wanted to stay because he said that he couldnt drive, he lives in a different city. He started getting really pushy about staying and I started getting pushy about him going, then he pulled my glasses off my face and said he was staying. My three year old was in his bed and I was not having this, so I called the police. He left but he took my cell phone with him. He came back and kicked my door in and threw my phone at me. I called the police again, he left again and came back one more time. I took my son and we went to my parents' across the street because my door wouldnt lock now. The deputy came over there and asked if I wanted to press charges but I told him that I didnt but to make sure he understood that he was to never come back because he would not have any more chances. They couldnt give him a DUI because when they found him he was in the passenger side of his car in a church parking lot. So he said they would tow his car and have him call someone to pick him up at the station. I told the deputy to make sure he knew not to contact me anymore. One hour later, I had a blocked call on my cell phone. Let's guess? So now my mom thinks I should have charged him for busting up my door and file a restraining order. I dont know what to do. I dont want to be scared every night, but I want to give him the chance to just leave me alone on his on accord. I never thought that he would behave like that so maybe I should do something legally. I dont know. I just wish he would have stayed away quietly. Why didn't you press charges??? He's a NUT! What is this thing about giving him a chance to leave you alone *on his own accord*? Do you REALLY think he will do that?
Author Guinevere04 Posted March 15, 2006 Author Posted March 15, 2006 Well now I am getting nasty text messages this morning saying how terrible I am, that I am a whore and money hungry. He has lost his ever-loving mind. Magda - his does drink pretty often. He is 25 and never stays at home. He thinks he has to party every night. That was one thing that got old with me because I am 32 and I have a 3 year old. Where he lives, there is no where to go out, so he comes to my town. Now that I am getting these message, telling me not to ^%$# call him anymore (like I was), it kind of makes me feel a little uneasy. I think I will check into the protective order or at least no trespassing at my house. He says that he has cheated on me and that I dont have a heart. He is really digging deep sounds like.
SmoochieFace Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 Well now I am getting nasty text messages this morning saying how terrible I am, that I am a whore and money hungry. He has lost his ever-loving mind. ... And he REALLY thinks that his behaviour is just gonna make you want him so much! Some people are sooooo dumb...
Author Guinevere04 Posted March 15, 2006 Author Posted March 15, 2006 Ha, here come the text messages I was expecting earlier - "I was way out of line, I promise I will let go." Oh please.
SmoochieFace Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 Ha, here come the text messages I was expecting earlier - "I was way out of line, I promise I will let go." Oh please. Shoulda filed those charges... if you did, he wouldn't be texting you.
Author Guinevere04 Posted March 15, 2006 Author Posted March 15, 2006 I think I still can. He probably figured that out and thats why he has started being nice. a**h***.
SmoochieFace Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 I think I still can. He probably figured that out and thats why he has started being nice. a**h***. *a**h**** is right... even better - *manipulative a**h****. You can't let his actions slide. You don't go breaking down other people's doors and expect to just *get away with it*, right? Do the right thing and turn him in to the cops and file those charges.
riobikini Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 Guineviere, see the following LS post dealing with a similar problem: The Link: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=738068&postcount=10 -Rio
SmoochieFace Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 Guineviere, see the following LS post dealing with a similar problem: The Link: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=738068&postcount=10 -Rio ... I just love it when people *plug* themselves... god. Uh... Rio... the OP's situation is a little different that the one you hi-lited... Guinevere's X is a loony - breaking down doors, texting her with *beep*, and engaged in other sorts of lunacy. He needs to be locked up for being an a**h***.
riobikini Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 Then, SF, again, as with many of your posts, you are the expert on 'burning down the house', so to speak, so any suggestion you give will be -not only appreciated- but followed to the 'T', I am sure. Although, some of your suggestions, given here, have a rational basis and enough reasonable merit bearing on the side of caution and safety, -it is disheartening to see someone seem to relish, so much, the sight of another's dilemma. The link I referred to, is -as it was stated- 'similar to', -not 'exact' , and was intended as a helpful link. But, then, hating the whole world can blur one's vision considerably with small issues, -like reading, -when one is so intently, and so gleefully busy in pouring gasoline onto the fire of someone else's rather serious situation, I suppose. Understandable. -Rio P.S. As for 'plugging' myself, I find it much easier to post my own replies due to the possibility of later, having to re-explain the post in clearer terms, or further elaborate on its contents. And since I posted it, I will certainly know what I meant in the post, -not have to guess about someone else's thoughts.
SmoochieFace Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 Then, SF, again, as with many of your posts, you are the expert on 'burning down the house', so to speak, so any suggestion you give will be -not only appreciated- but followed to the 'T', I am sure. Although, some of your suggestions, given here, have a rational basis and enough reasonable merit bearing on the side of caution and safety, -it is disheartening to see someone seem to relish, so much, the sight of another's dilemma. The link I referred to, is -as it was stated- 'similar to', -not 'exact' , and was intended as a helpful link. But, then, hating the whole world can blur one's vision considerably with small issues, -like reading, -when one is so intently, and so gleefully busy in pouring gasoline onto the fire of someone else's rather serious situation, I suppose. Understandable. -Rio P.S. As for 'plugging' myself, I find it much easier to post my own replies due to the possibility of later, having to re-explain the post in clearer terms, or further elaborate on its contents. And since I posted it, I will certainly know what I meant in the post, -not have to guess about someone else's thoughts. I appreciate your *professional* analysis of me and what makes me *tick* - nice going. As far as *hating the world*... seems to me you may have been spending a little too much time with others here *behind the scenes*, so to speak. You know next to nothing about me and what makes me *tick*. However, your effort to learn those things about me will not be allowed to go unappreciated.
riobikini Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 Smoochie Face, In order not to mess up this lady's thread I have left you a PM...we'll take it up all your garbage and vague , derogatory insinuations/accusations there. No more posts in this thread. An old, true saying: "I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. " -Rio
SmoochieFace Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 No more posts in this thread. ... This isn't *your* thread, Rio, so you have no say in who chooses to post. We can converse via PM from this point on if you so wish...
climbergirl Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 ... This isn't *your* thread, Rio, so you have no say in who chooses to post. We can converse via PM from this point on if you so wish... Wow..........taking her words a bit out of context. I believe Rio only wanted to redirect the thread back to the original problem. Anyway......G04........I'm sure you can take care of yourself, but had your 3 year old been awake, that would've scared the crap out of him. Bad enough that a##hole did that to you, but doing that while knowing your child was in the house is very scary. IMO-filing charges against him is the very least that he deserves.
MadDog Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 He needs to be locked up for being an a**h***. If only people could be thrown in jail for being a**h***s, I'd have had tons of people arrested by now. He definately needs to be thrown in jail to learn a lesson though. I think a restraining order is a good idea too. Then the next time he comes to your place, you call the cops and they arrest him just for showing up. This guy is way too psycho to be hoping he won't do anything crazy like kill you. Do it for your kid if that's what it takes. MD
SmoochieFace Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 If only people could be thrown in jail for being a**h***s, I'd have had tons of people arrested by now. Or sent to an isolated island out in the middle of the Pacific... like the island in that movie "Terminal Island." Let 'em all fend for themselves. Yeah, the guy needs to have some jail time on his resume... way too crazy and unpredictable... women have been murdered by psychos such as him.
Guest Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 If you ignore his attempts at harassing/contacting you and he keeps them up, I would get a restraining order. Seems to me he lost control over you and when a guy like this loses his power/control....all hell will break loose. You have your 3 yr. old to worry about, as well as yourself.
Author Guinevere04 Posted March 22, 2006 Author Posted March 22, 2006 about getting a restraining order. They said that unless we were married, lived together or had a child together, I couldn't do a restraining order. They said if he came back I could have the deputy do a no trespassing order right then. It's been a week and he hasnt contacted me at all, so that's good. I have crap of his that I would love to just take to his house and cross my fingers that he isnt there because I am tired of looking at it. I think maybe I will take it to the dumpsters instead. I talked to a friend of mine that I hadnt talked to in over a year. She didnt know that I had even been seeing him. She told me all kinds of stuff about how he cheated on girls and lied. I thought he was so great, up until the end. I feel so stupid, I am sure he probably cheated on me too and then just got mad when he knew he couldnt walk all over me anymore so thats when he freaked and busted the door down. I hate looking like a fool.
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