Hyacinth123 Posted March 13, 2006 Posted March 13, 2006 How do you nicely reject a guy. Is it possible? When you truly are NOT interested in dating and men approach, how do you say - No - without lying (My boyfriend wouldn't like it). "I'm not interested" is not doing it for me. The guy never takes it well, and I don't think he believes me. He thinks "I'm not interested" = You're not my type etc. And, he leaves dejected. I hate this!!!! Does anyone have any simple phrases or any ideas on how to let them down easily?? Can this ever be done, and be left on a positive note? Advise for brief occasions (A random guy asking you out casually) & when you know the person, and you know he's liked you for a while, and finally approaches. P.S. Guys - It may be hard to approach a girl, but it's sometimes just as hard for us.
NTB Posted March 13, 2006 Posted March 13, 2006 are you saying you have a boyfriend?? if so just say you have one....and if you don't have a BF just stick with that line, i mean no body likes getting rejected they just have to deal with it
elijahBailey Posted March 13, 2006 Posted March 13, 2006 I thought all women know how to slide out of this situation with grace... Just say..... ' I'm not ready for a relationship '.
NTB Posted March 13, 2006 Posted March 13, 2006 I thought all women know how to slide out of this situation with grace... Just say..... ' I'm not ready for a relationship '. :lmao:
kitten chick Posted March 13, 2006 Posted March 13, 2006 I thought all women know how to slide out of this situation with grace... Just say..... ' I'm not ready for a relationship '. Doesn't that attract men more?
elijahBailey Posted March 13, 2006 Posted March 13, 2006 Doesn't that attract men more? only the clueless ones In that case, go to plan B and say..... 'I already have a b/f'..... But if he already knows you don't have a b/f, then go to plan C and say.... 'Let's just be friends'.
Yamaha Posted March 13, 2006 Posted March 13, 2006 This sounds like a guy you know and you don't want to hurt his feelings. He is going to be hurt no matter what you tell him so you best be honest and tell him how you feel. Just don't start avoiding him without telling him something because that never solves anything. If he's a guy he should be used to rejection so it might sting for awhile be he will get over it.
lindya Posted March 13, 2006 Posted March 13, 2006 How do you nicely reject a guy. That's like asking how you nicely remove a wax strip from a leg. If you try doing it slowly and carefully and in a pain-free manner, it only hurts a bit - because most of the wax has stayed on your leg. So then you have to keep reapplying the strip and tearing it off again until all the wax has been removed and the skin on your leg is a sore, red mess. Edit. So in other words, just do it as quickly and cleanly as possible.
magda Posted March 13, 2006 Posted March 13, 2006 The only way to nicely reject a guy when he's really persistent and totally clueless, is to do something that feels mean. "I don't want to go with you." "I said NO." We sometimes get ourselves into trouble trying to be "nice". Guys are usually supposed to be clued in to the hints, but apparently some of them are socially inept. If I'm not acting interested at all, avoiding, making excuses, I would expect him to stop pupping dogging me. The worst is when the guy keeps hitting on you but never actually asks you anywhere as a date or anything, so you never have that opportunity to say, "No thanks, I'm not interested in you." What are you supposed to say, "I can tell you have a crush on me, get over it" I have never been able to do that. I would feel rather presumptuous. I hated inventing imaginary boyfriends and injecting them into conversation... and I'm appalled at how many guys' response to that is, "he doesn't have to know" or basically "so?"
Author Hyacinth123 Posted March 13, 2006 Author Posted March 13, 2006 are you saying you have a boyfriend?? if so just say you have one....and if you don't have a BF just stick with that line, i mean no body likes getting rejected they just have to deal with it No, I'm NOT dating anyone, and I don't want to lie & say I have one. I'm not refering to anyone in particular, just guys in general. Which simple line works beside's "not interested" works....or in other words Lindya- What's the best wax to use?
magda Posted March 13, 2006 Posted March 13, 2006 I like, "No, thank you." It doesn't offer any hurtful explanation or excuse.
whichwayisup Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 How do you nicely reject a guy. Is it possible? When you truly are NOT interested in dating and men approach, how do you say - No - without lying (My boyfriend wouldn't like it). "I'm not interested" is not doing it for me. The guy never takes it well, and I don't think he believes me. He thinks "I'm not interested" = You're not my type etc. And, he leaves dejected. I hate this!!!! Does anyone have any simple phrases or any ideas on how to let them down easily?? Can this ever be done, and be left on a positive note? Advise for brief occasions (A random guy asking you out casually) & when you know the person, and you know he's liked you for a while, and finally approaches. P.S. Guys - It may be hard to approach a girl, but it's sometimes just as hard for us. I think in a way it isn't exactly what you say, but it's the whole approach. If you treat the person with respect and just speak from your heart - Be honest - Then hopefully they'll respect you back. Ofcourse their feelings are going to be hurt, but you can't control that. You can, however, make it hurt less by being nice and not playing games. And don't say, "we can still be friends..." Because it's the last thing the guy or gal wants to hear as they're being dumped or rejected. You could always say, "Thanks, I'm really flattered - But - I'm sorry, I don't think it would work out..." That way you're not making him feel bad.
lindya Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 No, I'm NOT dating anyone, and I don't want to lie & say I have one. I'm not refering to anyone in particular, just guys in general. Which simple line works beside's "not interested" works....or in other words Lindya- What's the best wax to use? "We're not compatible. I have a strong instinct for these things. I'm sorry."
elijahBailey Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 You could always say, "Thanks, I'm really flattered - But - I'm sorry, I don't think it would work out..." That way you're not making him feel bad. He'll feel bad
SmoochieFace Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 Just say *no* and be done with it. There is no need to *pussyfoot* around here. Direct is better... I know, I KNOW! Women have *difficulty* with that one.
Tenorman Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 "You are not my type and never will be! So just go home and f*** your dog... or your mother! Just GET AWAY FROM ME! DO YOU GET IT?!!!" That should do the trick and the guy may be so stunned that he may never get around to feeling any pain. Jokes aside, it is a situation where you have to be 'cruel' to be kind. I'd suggest: "Sorry you're not my type. Please do not pursue this any further." Anything less is liable to be interpreted by a guy who is keen on you as him somehow having a 'chance' and will only extend the pain that inevitably comes from rejection. If a guy cannot bow out gracefully if you say this then he is neither a gentleman nor a 'nice' guy.
noclobber Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 And don't say, "we can still be friends..." Because it's the last thing the guy or gal wants to hear as they're being dumped or rejected. Can you please explain this? Why is it bad?
lindya Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 Can you please explain this? Why is it bad? I'd say the "we can still be friends" line is dodgy when you're dumping somebody. It's a bit like an employer saying... "we don't think you're cut out to be a partner in this firm, but you're a nice person so we'd like to keep you around. How about we give you a massive pay cut and demote you to office boy/girl?" Then when, out of desperation, you soldier into work tomorrow to begin your menial duties, you find that they've changed the office code so that you can't get in.
noclobber Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 I'd say the "we can still be friends" line is dodgy when you're dumping somebody. It's a bit like an employer saying... "we don't think you're cut out to be a partner in this firm, but you're a nice person so we'd like to keep you around. How about we give you a massive pay cut and demote you to office boy/girl?" Then when, out of desperation, you soldier into work tomorrow to begin your menial duties, you find that they've changed the office code so that you can't get in. How humiliating Lindya you know my situation right? Does this also apply in my case? But the difference is we started as friends and I developed feelings along the way. When I asked for more she said 'no' but wants to continue the friendship. I have already been advised to get away and I am right now backing-off but I am just curious to know if I am putting myself down should I choose to continue the friendship.
lindya Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 How humiliating Lindya you know my situation right? Does this also apply in my case? But the difference is we started as friends and I developed feelings along the way. When I asked for more she said 'no' but wants to continue the friendship. I have already been advised to get away and I am right now backing-off but I am just curious to know if I am putting myself down should I choose to continue the friendship. You'd be as well setting up home in a chest freezer as hanging out with the Sex Avoidance Queen.
noclobber Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 You'd be as well setting up home in a chest freezer as hanging out with the Sex Avoidance Queen. 'home in a chest freezer'? sorry i don't understand. can you give your reply in less complicated terms?
lindya Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 'home in a chest freezer'? sorry i don't understand. can you give your reply in less complicated terms? Sorry NC. A chest freezer is maybe a UK term. It's the ice box where you keep frozen food items. What I'm basically saying is that I suspect this girl might be avoiding sexual relationships. First of all, there was the matter of shaving her hair off at college so that boys wouldn't pester her. Then there was the long distance relationship - which by definition would be a mainly celibate one. Now there's her friendship with you which is non-physical...but which possibly enables her to tell other people "I have a boyfriend".
Touche Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 I've always just said that I wasn't ready to date anyone at the moment. It wasn't a lie since I wasn't ready to date HIM at that MOMENT...if a better guy came along the next day, I'd be ready:p Anyway, that line always worked for me...except for with my husband...he didn't buy it and pursued me...boy was I glad though! But really, that line usually worked for me and most men just told me they were sorry but they understood.
noclobber Posted March 15, 2006 Posted March 15, 2006 Sorry NC. A chest freezer is maybe a UK term. It's the ice box where you keep frozen food items. What I'm basically saying is that I suspect this girl might be avoiding sexual relationships. First of all, there was the matter of shaving her hair off at college so that boys wouldn't pester her. Then there was the long distance relationship - which by definition would be a mainly celibate one. Now there's her friendship with you which is non-physical...but which possibly enables her to tell other people "I have a boyfriend". gotcha! It's actually very surprising for me that you suspect she might be having sexual hang-ups. I never thought from that perspective. Very interesting. She is a Jew and follows Judaism very strictly. Remember? One of the reasons she gave when she rejected me was I was not a Jew. Well, like how we discussed in the other thread its just like we both are having a relationship without the physical part. Anyway I am cutting the cord right now
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