Beachgrl486 Posted March 13, 2006 Posted March 13, 2006 Ok, well This guy and I have been friends a long time. We grew up together. We started dating last year. It was ok. I wasn't completely over a previous relationship but he was great to hang out with. We took a little break back in november but still stayed friends and talked. Well for valentines day he send me roses which was really sweet. We picked things back up again. I think before when we took a break it kind of hurt him. I didnt want to I just need to figure some things out and it wasnt fair to him b/c I was being distant. He is a great guy and I love him to death. I would never cheated on him and I know he wouldnt either. Well, about 3 weeks ago we were starting out slow and he said the he has had this "I dont give a F*** attitude lately and he doesnt know why." I was kind of upset by that but tried to understand. He wanted to try things again and asked me if I really wanted to be with him for a long time. Ofcourse I was like yes. Then we got in an argument (we have never fought at all before) and since then it hasn't been the same. We got together last Monday(a week ago) and talked and he said he still loved me, he doesnt like anyone else, he wants to do things together because we always have fun, but that he doesnt want to be in a relationship. I was really shocked. I thought everything was going to go good this time. He was the one who pretty much pursued it. I asked him if he wanted things to work out and he said yes that would be great. So the bottom line is he just doesnt want a relationship but I want to be with him badly. I texted him asking him if he wanted to go to the beach and he is just ignoring me which I really do not understand. He knows I am upset and I thought we were still going to hang out. I dont get why he would do that. He is too caring. I know he isnt seeing anyone else...Is it just a guy thing? Will he eventually talk to me...because the other night when we left eachother I thought we were going to still hang out. I am soo confused. Some advice would be great...Thank you
Sunfisher Posted March 13, 2006 Posted March 13, 2006 He seems angry about something - ask him what is wrong and why he's being so wishy washy. Is this the first time he's pulled a silent treatment act on you? When a guy gets mad then refuses to talk to you and deliberately ignores your attempts to talk or work things out - he's trying to control you. It sounds like maybe his lack of control is making him act this way. You sound pretty level headed and maybe he wants you to beg and plead for him? Because you're not he's going a bit further to get you upset and provoke more emotion from you? Sounds like he wants to see you have a meltdown - only then he'll feel he's got a hold on you. I wouldn't give an inch - just be sweet and nice and keep the focus on him and his problems. Don't take accountability for his rudeness.
Author Beachgrl486 Posted March 13, 2006 Author Posted March 13, 2006 Yes this is the first time. Even when we broke up before we still talked. I aven noticed ever since I started to show more emotion than ever is when he started to act more distant. When we dated before I was the distant one. 3 weeks ago I was really trying to make it work and I was showing it. I didnt think he would mind though because thats what he has always wanted. (well i think) I am not sure. I know he is probably eating it up right now because he has the upper hand for the first time. In every relationship he has ever had he has been the one to get dumped. I am the first girl he told he loved and I think I am his first "serious" relationship. Do you think he will contact me? I mean I really havent done anything wrong unless he is not over me hurting him before and even when we did break up before I was very nice and still talked and we still hung out sometimes. I just do not get it. Maybe there are some issues he needs to just work out on his own. My friend keeps telling me I havent given him enough time to miss me. I dont see how someones feelings can just change that quickly.
sexyLMC Posted March 13, 2006 Posted March 13, 2006 ohh my days. im going through all of this.. nearly exactly the same .. was really good mates desided to take it futher.. had a break got back together.. blah blah blah... i tell you something this time when we broke up for a break.. it hit me so bad cause i do really like him loads.. but do you know what i did. i didnt contact him.. we used to talk so so so much and i know how you feel. you've got questions that need to be answered. things that you feel need to be said. i bet even sometimes you go to ring him just to hear his voice.. ive really been there and doing it now.. i didnt show an interest in my ex. only for a few days.. he must of noticed this cause last night he rang up. i went to see him and it was the best time ever.. i think ur ex just needs space, space and time is such a healer. it sounds like abit of the player game maybe going on and if not and you've done something to upset him. only time will make him feel better hun.. sorry for what your going through i know it hurts. be strong.. and most of all.. please just go tonight without ringing or texting him.. no contact just for tonight, he'll probably be wondering why your not phoning.. good luck x lisa x
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