Lonely&Loveless Posted March 12, 2006 Posted March 12, 2006 I met an amzaing guy last year. We dated for 10 months. We live in different cities so it was a long distance relationship but we saw each other once a month usually. And talked on the phone several times a day, sometimes for hours. I was on top of the world and thought he was too. We were happy, complemented each other and he had most of the qualities i was looking for. We broke up in Jan because the last time we were together (xmas and nyears) we had a difficult time and i was constantly crying and upset because i felt that i wasn't his top priority. He said he would never be able to give me as much as I gave him and that I was better off without him. I initiated the break up over the phone hoping he would stop me but he didnt. And here I am today - heartbroken and depressed. Since the breakup we have been talking on the phone 2-3 times a week and exchanging one-liner emails every now and then. We never talk about the past. Last weekend he called an we had phone sex twice. I want a second chance but I don't get the feeling he does. But I think this might be a pride/ego issue on his end. I will be in his city for work in a few weeks and will be seeing him. I wonder if I should say something to him and give this another chance or just let it go forever. I'm having a really hard time thinking about anything else and its already been two months since the breakup. How do I get myself to accept that he didn't love me and that he let me go so easily?
In Sync Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 I met an amzaing guy last year. We dated for 10 months. We live in different cities so it was a long distance relationship but we saw each other once a month usually. And talked on the phone several times a day, sometimes for hours. I was on top of the world and thought he was too. We were happy, complemented each other and he had most of the qualities i was looking for. We broke up in Jan because the last time we were together (xmas and nyears) we had a difficult time and i was constantly crying and upset because i felt that i wasn't his top priority. He said he would never be able to give me as much as I gave him and that I was better off without him. I initiated the break up over the phone hoping he would stop me but he didnt. And here I am today - heartbroken and depressed. Since the breakup we have been talking on the phone 2-3 times a week and exchanging one-liner emails every now and then. We never talk about the past. Last weekend he called an we had phone sex twice. I want a second chance but I don't get the feeling he does. But I think this might be a pride/ego issue on his end. I will be in his city for work in a few weeks and will be seeing him. I wonder if I should say something to him and give this another chance or just let it go forever. I'm having a really hard time thinking about anything else and its already been two months since the breakup. How do I get myself to accept that he didn't love me and that he let me go so easily? The hardest thing for any of us humans to do is let go of a dream. I would advise you to cease the contacts with the ex. Basically he's being a nice guy but for you this contact is building false hope. You can not blame him for misleading you or causing your unhappiness as he was upfrontt and honest about his intentions or lack of. He ended it, so for him to talk to you is no problem, as he had already stated his position. It is your own undoing by not focusing elsewhere to get your needs met. Seeing him (especially if he's not making any moves towards reconciliation) will leave you feeling worse. MAny have tried and failed in trying to do this. Ususally when a person ends a relationship they have thought long and hard. This guy after 10 months decided he didn't want to string you along...going there to try and coerce him will make you appear needy and put him in an uncomfortable position. Let's say he wants to date other women DO YOU NEED TO HEAR THAT or can you just figure this out for yourself? It's a tough battle to let go gracefully but please don't cause yourself more pain by pushing for something he clearly said he did not want. If he's a grown man he would have let you known by now whether he made the wrong decision, don't assume for him that he didn't know what he want. Focus on your needs, if it's a partner accept that 10 months with him was a gift but he's simply not the one.
2020vision Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 Although it has been hard to accept and apply it to my own breakup, I believe there is no "grey area" in relationships. It is my belief that if a man wants to be with you, he will make it happen and swallow his pride. You are worth a little pride swallowing, on his part, if thats what is really holding him up. He has let you go, and you need to let him go completley. Continue to lean on us for support, we are all here for you.
Recommended Posts