Dizziegirl Posted March 11, 2006 Posted March 11, 2006 I have been seeing this guy for 5 months now and its real messed up situation, I work with him and no one knows becuz they dont like relationships in the office and cuz i am office manager so if my boss found out she would lose some trust in me...Yep he is married..but he says they lead seperate lives and only together for the kids, and that they have seperate bedrooms, i know hear that excuse all the time..Thing is i see him 4 nites of the week, comes to mine but never stays the nite but rarely leaves before midnite...i dont see him weekeds as his wife works friday, saturday and sunday nite and he has to look after his children then...but he does try to pop in and see me then..His 9 year old has been going through a tough time at school being bullied etc so he said he needs to be there..he loves his kids with a passion and i appreciate that...he is great with my kids and very patient..he tells me things will not always be like this..BUT how long do i carry on like this as it really is getting to me
No Stress Lady Posted March 11, 2006 Posted March 11, 2006 I have been seeing this guy for 5 months now and its real messed up situation, I work with him and no one knows becuz they dont like relationships in the office and cuz i am office manager so if my boss found out she would lose some trust in me...Yep he is married..but he says they lead seperate lives and only together for the kids, and that they have seperate bedrooms, i know hear that excuse all the time..Thing is i see him 4 nites of the week, comes to mine but never stays the nite but rarely leaves before midnite...i dont see him weekeds as his wife works friday, saturday and sunday nite and he has to look after his children then...but he does try to pop in and see me then..His 9 year old has been going through a tough time at school being bullied etc so he said he needs to be there..he loves his kids with a passion and i appreciate that...he is great with my kids and very patient..he tells me things will not always be like this..BUT how long do i carry on like this as it really is getting to me If you're this fed up after only 5 months you really should think about leaving this relationship - some OW wait YEARS and the MM is still with his wife - read some of the posts on this forum. And all that time they're just wasting their lives waiting for something that may never happen. It must be very hard being a single parent but there are single guys and DIVORCED guys out there who may not be phased by the fact you have kids already - you'd do better to try to meet them than hang all your hopes on someone who's already married..........if you're stressed at this early stage it's going to get a whole lot worse when you're in the same boat years down the line. Is he really the kind of guy you want and would trust yourself? The whole situation sounds pretty sketchy to me - surely his wife must know something's up if he's with you 4 nights a week?????
Author Dizziegirl Posted March 11, 2006 Author Posted March 11, 2006 If you're this fed up after only 5 months you really should think about leaving this relationship - some OW wait YEARS and the MM is still with his wife - read some of the posts on this forum. And all that time they're just wasting their lives waiting for something that may never happen. It must be very hard being a single parent but there are single guys and DIVORCED guys out there who may not be phased by the fact you have kids already - you'd do better to try to meet them than hang all your hopes on someone who's already married..........if you're stressed at this early stage it's going to get a whole lot worse when you're in the same boat years down the line. Is he really the kind of guy you want and would trust yourself? The whole situation sounds pretty sketchy to me - surely his wife must know something's up if he's with you 4 nights a week????? Apprently she does know and told him she wants a divorce too as she is seeing someone..but as of yet she hasnt filed the papers for it... I just dunno whether to wait and see what happens or get out, but even harder as i work with him
No Stress Lady Posted March 12, 2006 Posted March 12, 2006 Apprently she does know and told him she wants a divorce too as she is seeing someone..but as of yet she hasnt filed the papers for it... I just dunno whether to wait and see what happens or get out, but even harder as i work with him The thing is that you only have his word for this - I would be very wary and maybe tell him that you would feel more comfortable staying out of this relationship until he's actually divorced. If the marriage is as "over" as he's painting it it shouldn't take long.......... but in the meantime you have to take your life off hold - and show him that you're not prepared to sit around waiting for him. It'll be hard but better than feeling like a fool when nothing has changed a year or more later!!! Also, even if he did get divorced, would you really want to live AND work with your partner?? Maybe you need to think about looking for a different job - the change would probably be good for you and you might feel differently when you're not seeing him all the time like you are now..... Good luck!
Author Dizziegirl Posted March 12, 2006 Author Posted March 12, 2006 The thing is that you only have his word for this - I would be very wary and maybe tell him that you would feel more comfortable staying out of this relationship until he's actually divorced. If the marriage is as "over" as he's painting it it shouldn't take long.......... but in the meantime you have to take your life off hold - and show him that you're not prepared to sit around waiting for him. It'll be hard but better than feeling like a fool when nothing has changed a year or more later!!! Also, even if he did get divorced, would you really want to live AND work with your partner?? Maybe you need to think about looking for a different job - the change would probably be good for you and you might feel differently when you're not seeing him all the time like you are now..... Good luck! Thanks for the advice and will take it on board..i know what u are saying is true...maybe time to step back and see what happens...
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