tracerit Posted March 11, 2006 Posted March 11, 2006 I've only had one gf, and we were friends for three months before we started going out, and she was my only. I for a fact knew that she wasn't in a relationship because that's how we met, she just broke up with her ex a day before. Now when i'm out there and trying to meet new people, i hesitate because i don't know if they're already in a relationship or not, and to me, that's all i want, a relationship. the only female friends i have are from work and school, i can't see myself befriending another female outside of those two areas. should i just stop trying to find a relationship first and start forming friendships and seeing how far they go instead? i'm just worried that if we start out as friends, we'll just stay friends forever.
agnf666 Posted March 11, 2006 Posted March 11, 2006 Maybe you should try to develop communication with woman first before you decided that your only intentions are a relationship. Sometimes it is better to not start a friendship before dating, this way you won't get caught into the horrible "friends zone" especially if you are looking for a relationship. What about these female friends from work?? Maybe ask one of them out one night and see how it goes...
Author tracerit Posted March 11, 2006 Author Posted March 11, 2006 Maybe you should try to develop communication with woman first before you decided that your only intentions are a relationship. Sometimes it is better to not start a friendship before dating, this way you won't get caught into the horrible "friends zone" especially if you are looking for a relationship. What about these female friends from work?? Maybe ask one of them out one night and see how it goes... they're all taken, and not really my type. i guess i made it seem like there were a lot of female coworkers, but there's only two haha. and i'm like one of the youngest working at my hospital (21yo), everyone there is over 26 and married with kids (most at least). yeah, that friendzone thing, i don't know if it's coming at me or not, and how to avoid it, but i guess i'll find out when i experience it.
agnf666 Posted March 11, 2006 Posted March 11, 2006 Okay...So, after work do you go out to any place and socialize?? Like bars or anything... Basically, that will help you met some ladies... I know you are not looking for the one night stand deals but there are single woman that go to bars to get men... The horrible "Friends Zone"... hmmm... basically this can be aviod if you start the relationship with a woman early... If not then you have the chance of getting to were you will only exsist to being her friend and nothing more...
Sand&Water Posted March 11, 2006 Posted March 11, 2006 I know this may sound weird, or even peculiar in some regard but have you tried talking to women at the gas station, grocery store, convenient store? Maybe if you try some small talk with women at any of these locations, it might make things easier. [Just a suggestion] When you first meet a woman, you should know right away whether or not she *belongs* in the friend zone. However, if she ends up there someway or another then at least you've gained one more friend. Good Luck
agnf666 Posted March 11, 2006 Posted March 11, 2006 Sometimes more female friends can be a benefit to you!!!
monkey00 Posted March 12, 2006 Posted March 12, 2006 The horrible "Friends Zone"... hmmm... basically this can be aviod if you start the relationship with a woman early... If not then you have the chance of getting to were you will only exsist to being her friend and nothing more... the friends zone can be horrid, i've always frowned upon falling into it in the past. However if things dont work out, dont forget she has many single female friends whom she can introduce you to. Dating is game, rejection happens, friends zone happens, put aside your losses and move on...if you put your ego on the line, then you'll fail...but you'll learn from your mistakes at the very least. But there are many instances where you can escape ffrom the friendszone if you do the right things to trigger attraction. But with that aside, it's best in most dating situations to make your intentions clear with a good night kiss on the first/second date instead of procrastinating due to fears.
Outcast Posted March 12, 2006 Posted March 12, 2006 I don't believe there is any such thing as a 'friend zone' . You want the person you marry to be your friend, too. You are either in the 'possible mate' zone or the 'never ever possible mate' zone. You can be a friend and be in either one of those zones. As you, OP, already found out, it is possible to go out with and have a relationship with someone you've been friends with. So do what you like best and what feels most comfortable. There's no sane woman on the planet who would pass up a wonderful man as a partner just because they started out with the expectation of nothing more than friendship.
Curmudgeon Posted March 12, 2006 Posted March 12, 2006 ...the friends zone can be horrid DANG! After I'd been divorced a couple of years I asked out my best friend. Whoda thunkit? Dumb, huh? I wonder how it is we've now been married almost 10 years and are still in love. I'll have to go back and rethink this friends thing!
MadDog Posted March 12, 2006 Posted March 12, 2006 DANG! After I'd been divorced a couple of years I asked out my best friend. Whoda thunkit? Dumb, huh? I wonder how it is we've now been married almost 10 years and are still in love. I'll have to go back and rethink this friends thing! Congrats. You get the most pimp-juice flowing award. Your prize is a new set of grillz which is in the mail. Seriously I think your story is the exception and not the rule. In most cases, if you're in the friends zone, you're stuck there. It's kind of like arguing that smoking cigarettes is good for you because you had an uncle who did it and lived to be 90. He may have lived to be 90 but what about all the others who died of lung cancer in their 60's? Just cause it worked for your uncle doesn't mean it works for most people. MD
Curmudgeon Posted March 12, 2006 Posted March 12, 2006 Are the grillz no-stick? Thinking waaaaay back to my teenage years, I remember dating a couple of friends for brief periods. You're right. It didn't work. Glad I outgrew whatever it was that was all wrong back then.
MadDog Posted March 12, 2006 Posted March 12, 2006 Are the grillz no-stick? Thinking waaaaay back to my teenage years, I remember dating a couple of friends for brief periods. You're right. It didn't work. Glad I outgrew whatever it was that was all wrong back then. Unfortunately grillz are high maintenance and require even more care than regular teeth (otherwise the bling just won't be there when you smile.) Dentyne won't cut it after that busy lunch break meal--you're going to have to brush all the time. I don't think you necessarily outgrew anything. I think you just got lucky with your current Mrs. Luck is everything. MD
Steph21 Posted March 12, 2006 Posted March 12, 2006 For some reason I can't imagine ever being in a relationship with guys who I consider just friends. It would be pretty weird. However....there are some who might think I consider them just friends, but really they are potential boyfriends. So I guess it depends on her true intentions with you, and you might not be able to tell what those intentions are. For me, I have a much easier time talking to the "just friends" whereas there is definite awkwardness with the potential boyfriends. This causes problems since some of the guys I talk to a lot end up liking me in a more than friend way. The solution, I think, is to ask her on a date as soon as possible if you are interested.
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