Prim&proper Posted March 11, 2006 Posted March 11, 2006 My boyfriend of 2.5 months is traveling for business for 3.5 weeks next week. Since we've been together, we've seen each other practically every day. The most that we've been apart is maybe one day. I thought I could handle this, but he's out of town this week for 4 days and it's been awful. I've missed him so much. How will I handle the 3.5 weeks that we will be a part and how do people with long distance relationships handle it? What do you do? A little bit about my bf and I. We've both divorced, in our 30s and this is a pretty serious relationship for the both of us. We both can see a future together.
curiousnycgirl Posted March 11, 2006 Posted March 11, 2006 You had a life before you met him, and it sounds like you've left that behind and made him your world. You need to find a balance between being with him and being an independent individual. Go back to the things you were doing before you met your b/f - and then keep doing them, perhaps in a more limited manner, even when he is around. You should not be feeling this level of stress over his having to be away for 3.5 weeks. That level of dependence will probably put a strain on the relationship at some point. You can do this - best of luck!
giggless Posted March 11, 2006 Posted March 11, 2006 [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]My bf travels a lot for business, so I’m in your situation quite often. The main thing I think is communication. [/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]I think too, that if you keep yourself busy with things you enjoy, it will make the time go by much faster. Being apart for a little while is not always a bad thing. After I haven’t seen my bf for a little while, it almost feels like it’s our first date all over again. [/FONT][/sIZE]
fraidycat Posted March 11, 2006 Posted March 11, 2006 You said it was a pretty serious relationship for the both of you and that you could see a future together..well do you want it to stay that way? I've been single by choice for 3 years..the reason being that before I made that decision I had a really bad habit of getting into serious relationships- making that man the air I breathed- everything revolving around him and when he was away I didn't know who I was or what to do with myself. But I'm a strong, indepedent, and much smarter and will do so much better in my future serious relationship because of what i've learned... That being relationship partners are meant to compliment our lives- not take the place of them or not become them. You should always be able to appreciate both time together and time apart just the same..you will probably miss them some but being able to enjoy and have a good time without them around is healthy! You have no future if you and someone else decide to get into one of these you are my whole world/can't live without you relationships. Eventually one of you is going to start feeling the burden and began to feel squished and suffocated and who knows when that will be? Probably when you are far more deep into the mind set that this man is your world and you're lost without him. Space in a relationship is as equally important as spending time together is. Fire needs oxygen to grow without it the fire will die out- and relationships my darling are no different. It could take weeks, months, or years for people in this pattern to realize it but it will rear it's ugly head. If you need to take some time off from this relationship! It could be what saves it..if you need some time to come back down to earth and start living everything I just told you..otherwise ignore my advice and end up taking a path that is sure to lead to dissapointment.
luvtoto Posted March 11, 2006 Posted March 11, 2006 My boyfriend of 2.5 months is traveling for business for 3.5 weeks next week. Since we've been together, we've seen each other practically every day. The most that we've been apart is maybe one day. I thought I could handle this, but he's out of town this week for 4 days and it's been awful. I've missed him so much. How will I handle the 3.5 weeks that we will be a part and how do people with long distance relationships handle it? What do you do? A little bit about my bf and I. We've both divorced, in our 30s and this is a pretty serious relationship for the both of us. We both can see a future together. 3 and a half weeks? That's almost a month. Dang! That would be tough. I feel for you! Suggestions? Well...keep busy.
KOTG Posted March 12, 2006 Posted March 12, 2006 You had a life before you met him, and it sounds like you've left that behind and made him your world. You need to find a balance between being with him and being an independent individual. Go back to the things you were doing before you met your b/f - and then keep doing them, perhaps in a more limited manner, even when he is around. You should not be feeling this level of stress over his having to be away for 3.5 weeks. That level of dependence will probably put a strain on the relationship at some point. You can do this - best of luck! AMEN, My SO and i spent 1 year apart 3 years into our relationship, she moved to the arctic for a job that payed rediculously well and would pay off her student loans, and i couldn't leave my job due to contractual obligations. That was 3 years ago and i must say, it was the best thing that ever happened to our relationship. We learned how to communicate our feelings better, to support each other better, and to have fun by ourselves. When she returned we have never questioned each others need to do things seperate again. I appreciate how much she does to make my life easier, and she appreciates how much i do with the kids to give her time to relax, among other things........ Its a healthy thing if you let it be, however trust is a major requirement
No Stress Lady Posted March 12, 2006 Posted March 12, 2006 My boyfriend of 2.5 months is traveling for business for 3.5 weeks next week. Since we've been together, we've seen each other practically every day. The most that we've been apart is maybe one day. I thought I could handle this, but he's out of town this week for 4 days and it's been awful. I've missed him so much. How will I handle the 3.5 weeks that we will be a part and how do people with long distance relationships handle it? What do you do? A little bit about my bf and I. We've both divorced, in our 30s and this is a pretty serious relationship for the both of us. We both can see a future together. You sound awfully needy in this post - 3 and a half weeks is really not a long time to be apart!!!! Some people (like one of my friends) maintain healthy happy relationships even when their partner is away for MONTHS - in the military for example. As other posters have said, although you will miss him over this period you really need to make sure he doesn't become the only focus of your life - that's unhealthy. It's so easy to keep in touch with email, cellphones etc, you'll still have plenty of contact with him. My friend had to go 6 months with only weekly phone calls when her husband was on a military tour. She coped by keeping busy at work and making sure her social life was full - she took the time to catch up with friends she hadn't seen for a while, decorated the house and took weekend breaks to visit family and friends. So really, compared to a six month separation this 3 week business trip should be very manageable................
justagirliegirl Posted March 12, 2006 Posted March 12, 2006 I think it all depends on how often you keep in contact while you are apart.
Minnaar Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 Keeping busy is the key. 12 hour days, and no days off. yeah buddy a workaholic is a good thing at times. hehe. My current relationship started as a long distance one. He is in the Army and was stationed 4 states away. The first year technically 14 months of it he spent in Iraq. Weekly calls would have been a cherrished dream come true. But not the case. I got a once a month call, MAYBE. Letters lost for years now. Mine to him and his to me. Now it is almost 3 years since we started dating and we finally managed to get into the same State, same Town, YESSS even the same apartment. Simply put... If you both are within the same place in your heart, you will manage 3.5 weeks easily. Get back in touch with your friends, have a couple movie nights, or even a get together all night chat with two of your closest friends. Catch up on family. Good Luck to you.
No Stress Lady Posted March 16, 2006 Posted March 16, 2006 Keeping busy is the key. 12 hour days, and no days off. yeah buddy a workaholic is a good thing at times. hehe. My current relationship started as a long distance one. He is in the Army and was stationed 4 states away. The first year technically 14 months of it he spent in Iraq. Weekly calls would have been a cherrished dream come true. But not the case. I got a once a month call, MAYBE. Letters lost for years now. Mine to him and his to me. Now it is almost 3 years since we started dating and we finally managed to get into the same State, same Town, YESSS even the same apartment. Simply put... If you both are within the same place in your heart, you will manage 3.5 weeks easily. Get back in touch with your friends, have a couple movie nights, or even a get together all night chat with two of your closest friends. Catch up on family. Good Luck to you. Hi Minaar - just to say I know how hard it is to be with someone in the armed forces - I often don't think people realise what a huge sacrifice the wives and families of these guys are making. Like you, my best friend is coping admirably with her husband's tours of duty and is doing exactly what you discuss in your post. I have so much admiration for her (and him) and think their relationship is a shining example of what love's all about :)
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