sunshineanderson Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 There was a mutual attraction btwn my co-worker and myself. We started talking more at work because of a business he's into that he talked to me about. Sometimes we would talk after work. Then one day at work he asked me if I drink. I told him I do, although not often. Then after work he called to ask if I wanted to hang out, watch movies at my place. He also said he'd bring something to drink. I agreed, and, of course, we ended up having sex, although that wasn't necessarily my intention. The sex was great, although he didn't really kiss me passionately and would return my kiss on the lips with a small peck. The next few days at work were fine. The next time we were supposed to get together he clearly said all he wanted was sex. I was disappointed (we had sex that night and the next morning, though) and we haven't had sex since (although it's only been a few days). I still look forward to seeing him at work every day, and I feel he may have feelings for me because I often feel him looking at me. Also, the other day after he told me he only wanted sex and he thought I was mad at him, I told him I wasn't mad, but I played it kind of cool. I was about to each lunch, stepped out of the lunchroom, and when I returned he was sitting directly across from where my stuff was. He seemed nervous, not that he didn't want to be there, but he was fidgety with his food and his plate. Then he stayed in the lunchroom longer than usual (he usually leaves before me) until we were alone, and he made casual conversation. We haven't spoken much outside of work since then but we are very cordial at work. Also, he usually agrees/backs up/acknowledges what I say when I'm speaking in front of other people. He's much younger (13 years), but I honestly look a lot younger than I am. I don't know his status except that he's single and has a baby almost a year old. The baby and mother live in another state (although the sees the baby often) and the mother attends school out of state. Sorry for the rambling, but I'm wondering if anything can come from this or if I should just consider changing jobs.
MadDog Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 I don't mean to be saracastic but to summarize your situation: 1. You invited a coworker to your place and you had sex that very first night 2. He told you after that time that all he wanted was sex 3. You had sex a couple times after that 4. You're wondering if he wants a real relationship from you It's just that this situation seems so obvious to me I'm wondering if I'm missing anything. If a guy goes to a girl's place, sleeps with her, tells her he only wants sex and sleeps with her again, I'm pretty sure that in 99% of those cases, he only wants sex. Please don't do the whole "I sleep with him so maybe he'll realize he loves me" thing--it'll only make things worse. MD
sunshineanderson Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 I'm not even thinking "maybe he'll love me if he sleeps with me". That's the whole point. I was weak, he was more than willing, and now we no longer "do it", but we still interact and continue to have this chemistry every day.
Guest Posted March 11, 2006 Posted March 11, 2006 Anything's possible, girl. Continue to play it cool and who knows? Dee Dee
MadDog Posted March 11, 2006 Posted March 11, 2006 I'm not even thinking "maybe he'll love me if he sleeps with me". That's the whole point. I was weak, he was more than willing, and now we no longer "do it", but we still interact and continue to have this chemistry every day. That "chemistry" you feel is him picturing himself sleeping with you. If you don't mind having casual sex, there's nothing wrong with what happened. If you're hoping this will turn into a relationship, there's a good chance you'll end up with some emotional pain. MD
Guest Posted March 11, 2006 Posted March 11, 2006 One of my best friends married her sex buddy, so anything's possible. The fact that he acts nervously around you shows he has some feelings for you, and if it were just sex he wanted and you are no longer giving it to him, there could be something more. Time will tell.
sunshineanderson Posted March 17, 2006 Posted March 17, 2006 Well, it seems that my co-worker sex buddy does want more -- imagine that. I already knew that sex buddies could turn into more, because I know of people who have made the transition from sex buddies to man/wife, but in my particular situation I wasn't sure. Turns out I wasn't being dumb about it, but rather, I knew the man I was dealing with. He's been hurt (like so many of us) and his way of trying to protect himself was to try to have a solely sexual relationship with me. But I think by him seeing me every day and really getting to know me, and me playing it cool really helped him to see what he wanted. I'm still taking things slow, but I'm not going to stop having sex with him. Right now it's sex, good conversation, laughs -- perhaps one day it will be "making love", but whatever it is right now it's pretty good. So some men (like some women) don't always mean exactly what they say.
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