Guest Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 I have a tough problem. My husband and I live in a neighborhood that has turned into a real yuppy town. All the kids have cell phones, cars, and are spolied rotten. We dont have a big home, and make tons of money. We make ok money, which pay our bills and gives us the things we need. Lately, our taxes went up, pay down, and school luches increased again. I have 3 children and it is getting really expensive for lunch. I would make them a bag lunch (and have) but they charge lunch anyway. I noticed that our income we can get reduced lunch or free lunch. My kids are completly embaressed and refuse to get free luch, they dont care what we pay I also dont want to be looked down on becuase right now we are going thugh a tough time.....any suggestions on what I should do?
Outcast Posted March 11, 2006 Posted March 11, 2006 This is a teachable moment. Neither you nor your kids should be embarrassed about going through a rough time. Remember, Trump went bankrupt - more than once. Pretend you're him (well, maybe not quite as egotistical) and hold your head up high. Tell your kids that nobody - including them - should look down on people who are having a rough time in life and anybody who does so isn't worthy of being their friend. Teach children not to discriminate and discrimination would end in a generation.
jerbear Posted March 11, 2006 Posted March 11, 2006 I have a tough problem. My husband and I live in a neighborhood that has turned into a real yuppy town. All the kids have cell phones, cars, and are spolied rotten. We dont have a big home, and make tons of money. We make ok money, which pay our bills and gives us the things we need. Lately, our taxes went up, pay down, and school luches increased again. I have 3 children and it is getting really expensive for lunch. I would make them a bag lunch (and have) but they charge lunch anyway. I noticed that our income we can get reduced lunch or free lunch. My kids are completly embaressed and refuse to get free luch, they dont care what we pay I also dont want to be looked down on becuase right now we are going thugh a tough time.....any suggestions on what I should do? Hi guest, I understand how your kids feel and no matter what happens, they will resent, push back, scream, and yell. I've been on the child side. My suggestions and/or advice is in no way a challenge or critique to you. I'll assume junior/high school. One thing on the home front is to put a tighter budget together, ie. cut coffee purchases at coffee houses, remove HBO and sports packages from cable. One thing I would suggest doing is challenge the property tax reassessment. One can't deny that real estate has risen in the past few years especially when the town went "yuppy". The mil rate, assessor's assesment, and condition of the home have to be addressed; routine maintaince really doesn't count but try it anyway. Since times maybe tough, remodeling the home was probably not a priority. Tax rates don't usually change however the market value does, the assessed value is based on the market value; hence dollar amount goes up. Regarding charging lunches anyway, is the school charging it or your kids doing it on your behalf? It was a little vague in your post. Kids being humble, this maybe the time to teach your kids how to budget, utilize resources, and humility. I do not know how your kids learn but some learn by doing, talking, or experiencing. If they have an allowance, increase it however have them pay for their own lunch with their own money on their own budget. They might learn that there is no such a thing as a free lunch. Now kids will be kids, they might save their money then come home and eat everything! A creative way is to let them be competitive, have them do house work, laundry, vacumming, cooking, etc... and let them earn some extra allowance money or whatever you want to call them. This approach might reduce your stress at home.
quankanne Posted March 11, 2006 Posted March 11, 2006 be honest with them about your finances, that because times are a bit tight right now, the free lunch program is the only feasible solution if they don't want to brown bag it. Work out a compromise where they take lunch or come home (if the school has an open campus policy and you live close by) for a certain number of days, and free lunch the other days. You should be able to access lunchroom menus from the school and plan around that. there's no shame in not having enough money to afford the perks, and the sooner your kids understand this, the better off they'll be. Granted, they prolly will be teased because of this, but you and the kids can come up with snappy comebacks like, "okay, if it's so funny, YOU pay for my lunch today" or something similar. Kids can be *ssholes toward those kids who are different, but this might be a good time to groom your rugrats into independent thinkers who rise above petty comments about things like this. you say "they charge lunch anyway" – are you having to pay for meals whether your kids eat them or not? Contact the school office to see if you can get on a reduced meal or a pay as you go plan. I'm sure they'll be willing to work with you when you explain that because of finances, you're having to tighten your belt and you've come up with an alternative meal plan with your kids.
Safaria Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 At my son's middle school none of the kids know who has reduced lunch fees or who pays regular price. When my son gets his lunch at the cafeteria all he does is enter his pin number (school ID) at the cash register and it credits his school lunch account. I write a check every month for him to give the cafeteria lady. It's credited to his lunch account and then he just enters his pin at checkout. If your kids school uses this system it shouldn't matter whether they have reduced lunch fees or not - no one knows.
933KJL Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 At my son's middle school none of the kids know who has reduced lunch fees or who pays regular price. When my son gets his lunch at the cafeteria all he does is enter his pin number (school ID) at the cash register and it credits his school lunch account. I write a check every month for him to give the cafeteria lady. It's credited to his lunch account and then he just enters his pin at checkout. If your kids school uses this system it shouldn't matter whether they have reduced lunch fees or not - no one knows. Agreed. There is a requirement for confidentiality in ALL schools for ALL types of aid. They should be the only ones who know.
HokeyReligions Posted March 30, 2006 Posted March 30, 2006 I'll ditto the others. When I first read your post I wasn't sure if you meant that the school has a built-in program that charges lunches or if its your kids who charge lunch against their account in spite of you sending lunch with them. There should be confidentiality in the schools - call and talk to the school and find out. That way your kids can continue to 'charge' but it may be set up with some limitations and your kids need to know what they are to avoid attempting to charge for things that are not on the free-lunch program. Its a tough lesson to learn, peer-pressure being what it is, but if you have to remove their charging capabilities because your kids charge lunch even after you have told them not to, then do it. They will either take their lunch or go hungry. I'm sure they are not the only children in the school to bring their lunch. The "keeping up with the Joneses" mind-set is going to hurt them in the future if they do not learn how to deal with this now. If they are ridiculed because of it, like Quank said, have some comebacks ready, like "if you judge a person's worth on how much money they have then YOU are not worth my time" (my kids came up with that one when we were in a similar situation) My kids learned (and taught others) the meaning of words like Bigot, and Discrimination, and Self-Respect by holding their heads high when they were made fun of for not having as much money as some of their peers. It wasn't easy for them at first - my daughter came home in tears a few times, but because she was more understanding of others' situations she also gained some respect for herself and from others who saw how she handled some tough situations with poise and compassion - and she was only 11 - 13.
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