droopy28 Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 I'm not for sure if this is the right area to post this, so sorry if i'm in the wrong place but anyways i'm having female problems. Before i jump in talking about it i'll share a few things about myself. I'm 23, i've only been in one serious relationship my whole life, and i've asked out only one girl in my whole life and it wasnt even the "serious" one. So i guess you can say i'm as shy as they come. I dont have much confidence and i'm scared of getting shot down. So, theres' this girl. I've known her for approx. 3 months. She has a great personality and thats probably the only reason why i'm friends w/ her, otherwise i probably woulda been my usual self and say a few words b/c i was intimidated by her. Well, we seem to be getting pretty close: we dont go to the same church, but same religion and we went on a trip to Panama and this was the first time we met, and we kinda hit it off 'friends wise' pretty fast. Fast forwarding to now and looking back we have not gone anywhere, but i'm trying to figure out whether i should take the chance and ask her out or something Heres the deal, like i said, im shy so i dont ask out girls unless i know that its a sure thing and if it wasnt for her personality; b/c she's nice to everybody; i would have left it alone already. She's a flirtasious girl. But it seems like she may be treating me a little different. i've heard people say that physical contact is a sign of showing interest, how true is this? Before i get into specifics about this i'll say this first, after awhile of the two of us not going anywhere i tried to test this. I purposely avoided seeing her for a couple of weeks and it seemed to pay off. When i saw her the other day, she approached me w/ a huge hug and told me she missed seeing me and all that stuff. we were at a place where the local church-goers meet on our college campus and throughout the night she continued to give me attention. At one point, while she was talking to me, she started to massage my earlobe. ??? Never had that done. She did other things, like later she squeezed my arm while i was walking away from her. Sorry i know this is getting long, im going to wrap this up saying a couple of other things b/c i know its hard to judge this situation w/o knowing me or the girl. Like i said earlier, i lack confidence and though i've heard other girls say that i'm cute my self-confidence doesnt let me believe it. The only girl i asked out said yes, b/c for some reason or another i felt like i couldnt fail, however b/c this particular girl is so friendly to everybody i have not tried asking her out yet. So, is there anything i can do to show her that i'm interested. I've done some things. I emphasize eye contact and we always smile at one another. One other thing she did was invited me to her church a few times, and it seemed liked she wanted to me there b/c at first i said, yea i'll think about going to yours' and she seemed to have made it clear that she wanted me to go (and i only see her maybe twice a week on avg.) Is there any advice you can give me? Any ways i can ask her things to see if she's interested? I dont wanna blow this if this does start to go past 'friends'. and the more she shows me the more nervous i get. When i got her phone number i was putting it in my phone and had to ask her twice for it b/c i was messing up. man im an idiot. well that about wraps it up....sorry for the length and any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks
Author droopy28 Posted March 10, 2006 Author Posted March 10, 2006 one other thing i wanted to add was that, she is 19 and i'm 23.....i know thats not a real big difference but i just wanted to let you all know
Author droopy28 Posted March 10, 2006 Author Posted March 10, 2006 sorry, i know my thread was long...... i'll summarize it........she is a pretty flirtasious girl, but she seems to be doing it more to me w/ physical touching and stuff.....what are things i should look for and what are some things i can do to show i'm interested
country gal Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 out of curiousity, have you used the phone number she gave you? .... i think its a good sign that you have that for one. she also seems potentially interested based on what you have said. my only hesitation is that the way you describe yourself could put you in the 'nice guy to be friends with' category which could make her more comfortable around you therefore allowing for more touching to occur despite a real interest .... that said, however, girls who view a guy as just their friend (in most cases) do not make that extended eye contact and are generally careful about touch location .... i might try complementing her on how she looks next time you see her.... try a 'you look really great' and see her reaction. most importantly, i think you need to relax.... and start to give yourself mroe credit - confidence comes from the inside out, not the other way around.
Author droopy28 Posted March 10, 2006 Author Posted March 10, 2006 first of all thank you for your reply and actually no i havent called her.....i was waiting for something to come up b/c she didnt just straight up and ask me for my phone number....the way i got it was, it was after my birthday and me and my friends did something, and i told her...i wanted to ask you to come along but i didnt know how to get in touch w/ you....she replyed by saying...well, let me give you my phone number and the whole friends' thing.....its kinda difficult to say that...b/c we get along when we are together, but i dont consider us to be great friends b/c we dont see each other much at all...i kinda like it that way b/c everytime she does see me she gets kinda gitty and is always huggin me when i see her and when one of us leaves another thing i wanted to mention was, im not sure if i mentioned this, but a group of people including her and myself went to panama and this girl is not from around here 'where i live' so she doesnt talk much to everyone...and we ended up going to a bowling alley and i noticed she was sitting all by her lonesome. i approached her and we had a short, but good conversation and she told me that she was glad that i decided to go b/c we got to know each other, b/c before this i had never met her. I told her likewise.....i feel like that moment was the start of what we have now....whatever it may be
catgirl1927 Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 Dude. CALL her. She wouldn't have given you her number if she didn't want you to call! Take a chance. No guts no glory!
Author droopy28 Posted March 10, 2006 Author Posted March 10, 2006 trust me, i wanna call.....but its not that easy for me b/c of my personality...i have deep problems when it comes to these kinda things for some reason....i know a phone call is just a phone call and i will eventually call her even if i wanted to see how she was doing...but i just wanted to get opinions first, b/c i have been thinking about this alot over the last month or so and i'm just trying to figure out if she's into me or not. I will settle for friends but i dont want to think regret not doing anything....im just trying to absorb a little more information before i make that next step. and another thing.....there is a huge probability that if i were to ask her out on a date she will say yes....but in my opinion that doesnt mean anything..... im also scared of the embarrasment that could come if she says no or sees that im interested in her and backs off......this could lead to much awkwardness....on another note..i believe i have shown her signs that i'm interested in her and i have seen some of the same things....but ima rookie when it comes to these things
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