monaliza Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 is it ok for a guy to talk to girls he claimes to be just his friends one of em his ex but now friends to talk on the phone at 1 and 2 am in the mornig?He talk to them quite as many times a day two or three .I told him I'm not ok wiht this over line calling thing .He refuses to listen to me .So loveshackers any advise or insite into this?
fedup82 Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 Well...I know from my own experience, my bf had a girl he went on a few dates with before me, they work together, but are now just friends, who would text him between like 2-5 am during the week(she would be up at that time because she had to be at their work at 5:30 am) and I told him it bothers me and is kind of rude since we're sleeping. He said he'd talk to her, but then she'd keep doing it. He claimed he told her, but not really sure if he ever did. Anyways. They have stopped now so I think she got the hint. They still talk probably on a daily, every other day basis and see eachother at work. Just not for long periods of time, or so he says. She has a boyfriend anyways and will be moving about 3 hours away to be with him. I guess all I'm saying is if he's talking for hours with them, the way he talks to them and the fact that he's disrespecting your thoughts about it, may be saying more about you two than you think. Don't get me wrong. He's allowed to have friends, even the opposite sex. That is something I have trouble accepting as well, but you need to trust him also, unless has he done anything to make you doubt you two? Or does him talking to other females bother you because it makes you feel insecure? How would he feel if you talked to other male "friends" especially if one were an ex?
Author monaliza Posted March 10, 2006 Author Posted March 10, 2006 well he lie to me about talkin to any of his exs on daily basis so i'm kinda suspecious why he would lie if there is nothing going on.But I've made my self clear that this much talking is unnessery especially at 1 in the morning for an hour or so.From what I've seen in his email this girls tell him they love him and call him baby n how great he is just a little out of a friendship manner.So I told him maybe he needs to slow down the contact from everyday to once a week or so because there must be a wrong impression somewhere in there.He did that for a week n told me he feels foolish that he listended to me n that I came b/n him n his friends.So he continue to talk to em for houres.He even claim one of hs exs to be his cousin n send her flowers for valentines day.Then I confronted him I still dont c why that would be necessary.And I still dont c why he needs to talk to girls that late for houres.And Im not againest frendship between opposite sex's at all but there must be a limit to it all.
BeFree Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 I think these girls like him and know that the are being disrespectful. Why he does not see this, I am not sure. Perhaps he is flattered by it. Needless to say, I don't think you should tolerate it.
Author monaliza Posted March 10, 2006 Author Posted March 10, 2006 but then when I told em to cut down contact I am accused of breaking the friendship he has with his "friends" ? N that makes me feel guilty .N at the same time I am not ok with it n I ve made that clear with him n he seems like he doesnt care anyways.he calles one girl talk to her for 45 mn then call me then another girl .or am I just elaborationg?
BeFree Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 Don't just tell him it makes you uncomfortable, show him. Men don't understand words. Pull back, disapear for a couple of days. He will probably freak out. When he ask whats wrong, tell him you are uncomfortable being close to him when he is calling these girls in the middle of the night. He will get the picture.
Author monaliza Posted March 11, 2006 Author Posted March 11, 2006 thank you for the advise guys any other insites advises ideas on this issue I'll apperciate it .I love my man so much n this is hurting me
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