I am I flirting and if so does this turn on my husband in some weird way?

[michelangelo]

that sarcastic defensiveness is the response.

 

Of course you can talk to anyone you want to, especially if your H is into it too.

 

But I'm just trying to see why it's 99% male you talk to at the bars.

 

If it were random, the 1% women would be a higher percentage.

 

Your motivations, not your H's is what i was after.

[a4a]

Actually I learned that it takes a huge investment of effort to retrain behavioral interactions that have been occuring for several years.

 

As they say in therapy, it took you x number of yeras to get that way, so it will likely take a long time to change your ways in a fundamental manner. Not on the surface or for short periods of time.

 

And thanks for the DUH. Very effective at putting your point across.

 

Well I think the TATER took about a total of three weeks to get the proper response from the H.

 

He has done a 180........which is great. I think if you are made aware of something you certainly can change much quicker than years. How many times do you piss on a electric fence before you figure out not to?

 

You can undo/change/modify a dogs/horses behavior in just a matter of weeks/days/minutes in many cases. You just need to find the trigger point.

[blind_otter]

Yeah, my thing is -- you can talk to whoever you want, but by your own admission you chose those people to be men for whatever reason.

 

I do that because I have issues with women. I don't like them, they don't like me, everyone agrees.

[blind_otter]

You can undo/change/modify a dogs/horses behavior in just a matter of weeks/days/minutes in many cases. You just need to find the trigger point.

 

Animal behaviorism is a different "animal" (haha) in and of itself and the two aren't really comparable. I mean in my behaviorism lab, we taught pigeons to peck different colored keys. But I highly doubt the training methods I used would be applicable with humans as they have more copmlex cognitive funcitoning. Their behaviors are more intimately tied to other cognitive processes which need to be attended to.

[a4a]

that sarcastic defensiveness is the response.

 

Of course you can talk to anyone you want to, especially if your H is into it too.

 

But I'm just trying to see why it's 99% male you talk to at the bars.

 

If it were random, the 1% women would be a higher percentage.

 

Your motivations, not your H's is what i was after.

 

 

Dude the bar has 99% males in it...... I could ask one of them to bring their wife next time but they probably don't want them there

 

my motivation is to have a good time and interesting conversations with people.... my H is included in the conversations as well......not like I tell him to shut up while I deep throat a beer bottle

 

And actually the B. tenders wife was in there last week I did try to strike up a conversation with her.... she was dull........blah.........had to practically beat an answer out of her.....guys I guess are just more out going and like to banter about humorous things.

[a4a]

Animal behaviorism is a different "animal" (haha) in and of itself and the two aren't really comparable. I mean in my behaviorism lab, we taught pigeons to peck different colored keys. But I highly doubt the training methods I used would be applicable with humans as they have more copmlex cognitive funcitoning. Their behaviors are more intimately tied to other cognitive processes which need to be attended to.

 

I don't know about that. I have seen people join the military and end up completely different in just a short time. I did watch the Nanny 911 show.....of course that is TV. You can really see change in a short time on that show in the childrens behaviors.

[flavius]

Any one familiar with Flavius know what I'll say here.

 

Mrs. Flav and I are passionately committed Christians (if occasionally poorly behaved.) We also love a party. We BOTH love to play that game. I love to dress her to kill, take her out, wind her up, and turn her loose. It's not like it turns me on watching her do other men, a la cheap porn flicks. It is just that she is the storehouse of all my treasure -- I love it when men admire her, the one of Great Achievement of my life. She is my scoreboard. You can't keep that love 21 years by being false. I do not flaunt money, because in my heart I know i got it half by luck and just a little by work and a little by skill. And all from God. But I LOVE to flaunt the wife I bagged when we were young and poor -- she is REAL.

 

She loves it when I put my chips on the table, too. When I come in from my weekly night out with my buddies she loves to hear how we fared in "the game" (I do not fool around OR mislead ladies, by the way.) She loves the smell of my weekly whiskey and cigar, and she pretty much rapes me running! She asks if I was faithful, I say yes, and she makes me prove it )

 

When we hang out with our friends she comes home itching to be tackled. It just turns her on being part of the stew.

 

She is every woman on earth to me and I am every man to her. It is my obligation to reap the harvest of her panties on behalf of all mankind. Three-billion men and six-billion testicles are depending on me to do it right.

[blind_otter]

Sadly someone has to play devil's advocate. I swear sometimes the threads deteriorate into mutual hairpats and nodds of agreement all around. I start to read and snore, it's not about getting information all of a sudden it's about making sure that your behaviors are socially approved.

[a4a]

Sadly someone has to play devil's advocate. I swear sometimes the threads deteriorate into mutual hairpats and nodds of agreement all around. I start to read and snore, it's not about getting information all of a sudden it's about making sure that your behaviors are socially approved.

 

I must still be drunk...... what do you mean?

 

I asked if or why do men like/ get/ or could get turned on happy if other men spoke to their wife.

 

I got asked about my motives, some thing about change in behavior, and told that many do not like it when or if their SOs gave them more attention after other men had spoken to them.

 

Flavius is really the only one who answered my question, sort of, by showing his point of view. Which I take as HELL YES..... because she is mine and they cannot have her. Is that kinda correct Flavius?

[blind_otter]

I've just noticed the trend on here lately, ignore me as usual I'm just talking to myself.

[Touche]

Actually I learned that it takes a huge investment of effort to retrain behavioral interactions that have been occuring for several years.

 

As they say in therapy, it took you x number of yeras to get that way, so it will likely take a long time to change your ways in a fundamental manner. Not on the surface or for short periods of time.

 

And thanks for the DUH. Very effective at putting your point across.

 

My pleasure! (By the way, it's called sarcasm.) Relax, BO...you seem a trifle tightly wound.

 

P.S. Notice how I didn't ignore you?

[flavius]

I like to think I'm fairly literate, but...what's a "hair pat?"

[a4a]

I like to think I'm fairly literate, but...what's a "hair pat?"

 

 

I believe it is what Andy would do to Opie.

 

"Now Opie, run along home to Aunt Bea. You wash up before supper, I will be home directly." then Andy would pat the top of Opies head with a slight tussle of his hair.

[cal gal]

a4a,

 

I have lived my life the way you describe your outings with your husband.

 

I love people and everything about interacting with them.

 

Some folks just tend to lend themselves more readily to my style, which is very similar to yours.

 

I always flirt with everybody. The ones who respond are the ones we tend to have the most interaction with at any gathering. It is almost as though it is instinctively noticed when you can mess around with somebody verbally. Healthy banter is amazing. Not so much fun when it is offensive. If people are not enjoying a conversation - they will generally move away from the chatter.

 

I never made my husband jealous because he knew I was always going home with him. I never cross the line and offend a female friend by allowing her to get the idea that I am hitting on her man.

 

I tend to have girlfriends that are very similar to me and my sense of humor as well as my intellectual mindset. A quick witted person at any age, male or female will always keep my attention for a long period of time.

 

Some people in life just genuinely attract people wherever they go... I have a son who is a magnet for anyone of any age or sex. He has been this way even as a small baby. He recognized it very early on....

 

Nothing is wrong with your approach, changing it would be as though someone asked you to change your personality.

[flavius]

Cal Gal is right. plus it sounds like it's getting your oil changed regularly at home, so everybody wins!