blind_otter Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 Well, the point of my post was to be a counterpoint to other posts I read. Posts that seemed to suggest that people will do things while f*cked up that they never would do normally. That may be the case, but the reason is not because of the drugs, the reason is because they are willingly letting themselves off the hook at some level. Personally I just think that anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is full of BS. Deep down we know what we are doing. We know what we are doing even when suffering black outs. I didn't experience blackouts for years, but when I did start having them, and I had to have friends tell me what happened the night before, it's pretty clear that I was just my normal ole drunk self. It's not like some possessed deamon entered me and made me do things I would never do otherwise. That happened to me. I had people tell me things like "you attacked me with a hammer" and other nasty things. which I don't remember and wouldn't normally do, ever, since I've been attacked violently a few times and I am still trying to get over it. I did things that I swear to God never happened. Sometimes I wonder if the guys who told me this made things up to minimize what they did to me. I'll never know, though. And honestly I DO black out when I have flashbacks. Once I had a flashback to my second rape while my exH and I were having sex and I punched him in the face and split his lip open. I have no memory of it. In my mind I was in another place/time with another person. Maybe my PTSD is why I blackout and have weird behaviors. But maybe you can tell me that I'm full of s***, too. I'm open to criticism.
BlahBlahQueen Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 Deep down we know what we are doing. We know what we are doing even when suffering black outs. I didn't experience blackouts for years, but when I did start having them, and I had to have friends tell me what happened the night before, it's pretty clear that I was just my normal ole drunk self. It's not like some possessed deamon entered me and made me do things I would never do otherwise. Yes, but to some extent, even the healthiest of us have these tendencies inside us. We just don't act on them for the sake of harmony. Because we know our relationship is worth more than some one-night-stand, because we know we might go to jail, because we know we might get maimed, etc. That's the whole purpose of inhibitions - to save us from our animal instincts. Then comes the liquor, and suddenly all that amounts to a fart in the wind.
Author thisisarandomperson Posted March 10, 2006 Author Posted March 10, 2006 I dont normally get drunk, i have only ever been drunk 3 times in my life which were during parties. i do not really see the sense in going out weekly to get pissed. Not having a go at any of you guys for drinking or anything but that is how i feel. I'd say my gf is a bit naive and likes to have fun, but i think she is getting drunk for the wrong reasons. She is just getting drunk for the sake of it and cause people want her to, and i don't see why she has to. You can have just a good a time with a bit of drink or no drink at all. And at least you can control yourself, remember everything from the night, and not wakeup hungover. Am i right? Should i try and tell my gf to go easy on the drinking? if so how should i go about it? I dont want to upset her or act all controlling. Its just i care a great deal about her and i dont want anything to happen to her. Its not just that im worried she might do something with a guy, i would be worried she might have an accident (as she is naturally clumsy lol), or some guy might spike her drink or something... Plus its not very good for your health either.
BlahBlahQueen Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 I'd say my gf is a bit naive and likes to have fun, but i think she is getting drunk for the wrong reasons. She is just getting drunk for the sake of it and cause people want her to, and i don't see why she has to. Bad, bad sign, IMO. Teenaged people-pleasers are much more prone to accepting advances from dudes for the sake of acceptance. Think about it - the same thought process that makes her drink because she's being pressured might make her bone some dude for the same reason. Do whatever you can to get her to avoid the booze.
Author thisisarandomperson Posted March 10, 2006 Author Posted March 10, 2006 Well she is still a virgin. She would do things to please people but she is always herself and wouldn't change herself to please someone. I think she thinks she NEEDS drink to have a good time, which i dont think is true. Yeah its fun to get drunk, but its not good for you to do it often. I dont think she gets drunk that often either, but she recently moved back from her dads to her mums which is near her best mate. And her best mate always goes out to get pissed on a friday, and i think she will drag my gf into it. I want her to just say no to getting pissed...
electric_sheep Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 blind_otter: No, everybody is different, so it's awefully presumptuous of me to project my experience onto you. Everyone's brain works different. I've just always been skeptical of those who use drugs/alcohol as an excuse, because (for me) no matter how drug and alcohol soaked my brain has been, I feel like my basic instincts and fundamental self is still intact. Addled to the extreme perhaps, but it's still there. If it was totally gone people would just kill and rape and do all sorts of things while f*cked up. There is just enough decision making ability left to prevent this sort of extreme craziness (for the most part), but not enough to prevent bar fights, infidelity, throwing bricks through a window, and driving your car 120 mph (true story). So, some sort of selective mania/craziness seems to still be intact. I have cheated on gf's while severly messed up, and I just feel like at some level (perhaps almost imperceptible even) I simply said "f*ck it".
flavius Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 This would otherwise be a private mssg, but BlahBlahQ doesn't take private messages. (feel free to skip if you aint BQ or Blind O) You are THE most intriguing personality on LoveShack. Yu talk on one hand of this wild, tangled existence, and on the other you speak with a clarity, wisdom, breadth and brilliance seldom seen. And s***, you're only 22? You're just barely more than a child! (26 for B.O.!) Maybe the substance abuse accounts for it, just like with so many of the greatest writers. You get this phenomenal person who is able to see humanity from a high perspective. But having landed hard, you can see from the bottom looking up. You would be the world's most fascinating dinner guest.
blind_otter Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 This would otherwise be a private mssg, but BlahBlahQ doesn't take private messages. (feel free to skip if you aint BQ or Blind O) You are THE most intriguing personality on LoveShack. Yu talk on one hand of this wild, tangled existence, and on the other you speak with a clarity, wisdom, breadth and brilliance seldom seen. And s***, you're only 22? You're just barely more than a child! (26 for B.O.!) Maybe the substance abuse accounts for it, just like with so many of the greatest writers. You get this phenomenal person who is able to see humanity from a high perspective. But having landed hard, you can see from the bottom looking up. You would be the world's most fascinating dinner guest. Let's have a threesome! No just kidding, thanks Flav. I am glad to be here, but I wouldn't wish what I went through to get here on anyone. Also this gives me the ability to corner the market on half vietnamese otters. Also I would probably make a visually unpleasant dinner guest. Messy eater.
Guest Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 That's the whole purpose of inhibitions - to save us from our animal instincts. Then comes the liquor, and suddenly all that amounts to a fart in the wind. But that's where I disagree somewhat. I think "all that amounts to a fart in the wind" is a decision we make on some level. I think there is a predisposition to WANT to loose our inhibitions, so we grab onto that as an excuse. Look, some people (like The Riddler) can get sh*t faced and NOT cheat. I think there is just something about you and me that makes us more likely to throw caution to the wind. A certain recklessness perhaps, a crazy side, a desire to live dangerously and fully and upredictably. Even when I was smashed and cheating and on gf, on some deep level I knew what I was doing. It's not like I completely forgot I had a girlfriend. As much as I'd like to put the blame elsewhere, I feel like fundamentally I ALLOWED myself to get "carried away". I guess that is where I differ from you and otter. The decision may not have even been a totally conscious one. Perhaps it was on a deeper level, and it had something to do with my outlook on life at the time. I feel like I should be accountable for my outlook on life though. Now that my outlook has changed, I feel like I could get completely sh*t faced and NOT cheat at all. Like The Riddler, that is just not an option for me. On no level whatsoever is there a desire for that at any level within my being. It simply will not happen.
BlahBlahQueen Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 I am glad to be here, but I wouldn't wish what I went through to get here on anyone. Second that. Although to regret anything would make me an ingrate for the human I am today. Let's have a threesome! s***, might as well, we're practically neighbors
Author thisisarandomperson Posted March 10, 2006 Author Posted March 10, 2006 Well my gf just came online...well her best mate did and my gf is staying round her place for the night. Her best mate told me some little prick tried to come onto her even after she told him he had a boyfriend (which is me), and then she told him to get lost. Her best mate then stepped in and had a good go at him for it. They were pretty drunk. So do you think this means that i can definitely trust her? or should i continue to worry?
flavius Posted March 11, 2006 Posted March 11, 2006 I'll check with the legendary Mrs. Flavius on the threesome thing (although that might make it four-sies.) But BlahBlahQ better drink plenty of Red Bull -- after all, Blind-O is cranking out over 300 posts an month compared to barely 100/mo for BlahBlah, even with benefit of her photogenic tongue. Guys can be shallow, and we DO judge chicks by how prolific they are on LoveShack.
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