Confused5433 Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 Please read my previous posts, if you want to learn the story of this romance which is sadly coming to an end....All post since Oct 31 are part of this story. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/search.php?searchid=406524 This is harder than I thought.... These last couple of days I have been feeling so detached from him. When I see him, I can't seem to be as affectionate or pay as much attention to him as I used to. We went out a couple of nights and got all cozy in the car, like usual, we made out and got very touchy/feely, but it was like my body was there but my head was somewhere else. My heart sitlll cares for him ALOT, but I think that the love I had for him is slowly dissipating. I even want to stop seeing him now. But this is hard... He is changing, doing everything right, he even started to plan new dates, and wants to meet my friends......which of course it's a shocker because he never wanted to meet my friends before, he never cared. Now he changes...NOW Damn it!!!!....when my feelings for him are to worn out and all I want is to be left in peace and push him away. I talked to him today, and he said how excited he was for us to be together...that he would become illegal, fight for us, and treat me the way he never did. He wants me to be his true wife and take care of me for the rest of our lives. He said, I can take all the time I needed for real marriage and that he even plans to have his own place for us. I comfronted him about how he always ignored me and never showed any type interest in my personal life. But now, he wants to be a part of it. I don't know if he finally learned or what. I truly feel he is honest about his love for me, but my insides just want to push him away, for good. Besides that, I have been reflecting on my life these last couple of months, and I realized I froze all my plans for grad school and I have been unemployed for months, because of all the emotional stress. That is not his fault, but mine for being so naive and giving in 100% to love....for trying to live a dream and letting myself go. It was the most incredible experience of my life, but now I came back to earth....and the memories of the "Good Times" are slowly being erased...Instead I visualize all the negatives... Now, I realize it's time to STOP and work hard to regain those lost months. Subcounsiously I place the blame on him, and that's why I've started to feel disgust and pitty for him. Disgust for our troubled past and his lies and mistakes, and pitty because deep down I know this is truly ending, but he believes strongly it is a new beginning. He is like a child sometimes, and part of his mistakes are my fault because I let him walk all over me. Now, I can't take it anymore....Im starting to regret this relationship, which is the last thing I ever wanted to feel in the world. But now, things have gone to far and I don't know how to do, what I have to do. I don't want to hurt his feelings...I do believe he loved me, and still does. But how do you break up with someone just like that??? Its hard, I hate to hurt anyone feelings like that, specially when he is trying so hard to be a different man and treat me like a princess. How should I do this???? Please help!!!
tikigods Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 Its going to be even harder each time you see him and allow yourself to get intiment with him. Change doesn't happen over night, could it be that he feels like this is his last ditch effort in order to be with you? If he keeps something like this up for more then a month then I would feel like he was really changing but over the course of a day no way. Why would it take for him to be legal in order to treat you right? He is telling you everything that you would want to hear in order for you to help HIM get into this country, he should have done this long before now, and you know it. I think he knows that he might miss a chance and he doesn't want to lose it not cause he loves you, but because its an easy out for something he wants. Actions speak louder then words, and his actions have said VOLUMES You need to give him up and get back on track, you should never ever ever give up your hopes and dreams for someone else, they should be something that the two of you work on together. It still seems that after HE gets what he wants THEN he will give you what you want. Is it fair for you to be hurt? Its time for you to grow a backbone and cut ALL contact with him, he doesn't love you. You know that Time to move on.
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