KittenMoon Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 It's been two full weeks since last contact when I went to get my stuff. I wrote him an 8 page long letter and mailed it to him. I had already written him another long letter after the break-up that I gave him when I got my stuff. It covered a lot of things I wanted to say about the stuff I have been thinking about over the past few weeks and stuff that was said during the last few conversations. I'm a communicator by nature, I can talk and write on forever. He's not. He has made no attempt at all for contact since the break-up, and he barely communicated before anyways. I acknowledge and examine my feelings, he supresses them. I don't expect any response from him, especially since I made it clear we should have no contact for a while (probably until at least Easter when I will ask him simply to feed my cat while I am away). And then we have a wedding in May. This is so hard. I don't even know if he's talking to our mutual friends AT ALL, which is bizarre. Why do guys just supress so deeply? Is there really such a fear of communicating? Anyways, I don't know what the letter will do, if anything, but I needed to get certain things out in the open. I told him, since we were together over 6 years and I really feel he will either be my soulmate or the biggest regret I ever have, that there will always be a door for him. It may not always be open, but it will be there. I needed to let him know he always has the opportunity to try. But I am also trying to resolve to myself that it's very possible he simply does not love me anymore, and that anything about future possibilities or the severe sadness he seemed to have when we broke up were just out of guilt. I'm afloat. I miss him so much. I feel such little attraction to people that I know it will be a long time before I feel anything for anyone again. I'm so afraid of the life that's waiting in store for me now.
amaysngrace Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 I'm afloat. I miss him so much. I feel such little attraction to people that I know it will be a long time before I feel anything for anyone again. I'm so afraid of the life that's waiting in store for me now. Give him space, set him free. Stop with the letters, he is probably not even wanting them. Have you read about the NC idea here? Search on threads and type 'NC'. It may help you put things into perspective. Take this time to discover your own identity away from this guy. If you become more secure in who you are, he may find that quality irresistable in you, if he comes back. And if he doesn't, you will reap the benefits exclusively! It's a Win-Win! 1
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