kjo314 Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 So after a month the ex contacts me..... Starts talking about out realtionship and stuff and let me know the reason why she broke up with me was because she felt like she was my mother.. I was having a very hard time for about 2 months in my life and she was the only one I coudl turn to and when I did she bailed on me. Then she goes on to say.. I would like to try us again but not until I am back in Ohio (she is in Florida) which will be in 1 year. I asked her why not now ans she said she couldn't get into a long-distance relationship and have it turn out like it did. She doesn't think I have changed yet... and cited us talking about the realtionship as proof... she brought it up!!!! She went as far as to call me honey and sweetheart... i mean what the hell is she thinking!! What can I do in this situation!
SmoochieFace Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 So after a month the ex contacts me..... Starts talking about out realtionship and stuff and let me know the reason why she broke up with me was because she felt like she was my mother.. I was having a very hard time for about 2 months in my life and she was the only one I coudl turn to and when I did she bailed on me. Then she goes on to say.. I would like to try us again but not until I am back in Ohio (she is in Florida) which will be in 1 year. I asked her why not now ans she said she couldn't get into a long-distance relationship and have it turn out like it did. She doesn't think I have changed yet... and cited us talking about the realtionship as proof... she brought it up!!!! She went as far as to call me honey and sweetheart... i mean what the hell is she thinking!! What can I do in this situation! Change your phone number and quit worrying about what she is thinking. Screw her *let's try again* garbage. Implement *ZC* - Zero Contact - and get on with your life. You'll thank me down the road for doing so.
sexyLMC Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 this is a hard one. my bf and i have just broke up and im kinda in the 1st stages of when u two broke up. long distant relationships are truely hard. but if you feel she means that much to you then you could get on with it. but the other thing is.. shes asking you to wait a year.. ummm.. a years a long time in anyones life. maybe you should think more about why shes asking this of you?? hope it wrks out. lisa
blind_otter Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 It seems clear cut to me. She felt like you were leaning on her too much and didn't feel comfortable with that so she ended the relationship, but she still cares about you and hopes that you get it together so that you guys can have a relationship that she is more comfortable with, where you are more independent. Also, long distance relationships are difficult to maintain and I don't blame her for not wanting one. It just adds another element of difficulty in your obviously already difficult situation. Sometimes we turn to others in difficult times but without the awareness of the other person's ability to help us, and without knowing whether or not they have other things in their past or present that would make it difficult for them.
NTB Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 She is crazy females usually are............ What can I do in this situation! move on .........she is an "X"........move on unless you want to give this another try........i personally wouldn't
SmoochieFace Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 maybe you should think more about why shes asking this of you?? He doesn't need to be wasting his time on that. What if they get back together and she finds ANOTHER thing about him that bothers her? She'll put him through the same... no, he needs to put a stop to it and get on with his life.
kitten chick Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 He doesn't need to be wasting his time on that. Maybe he should be thinking about what she's telling him. They may be harsh about it or they may be straightforward but there's usually some truth to what the ex's tell us about ourselves during the breakup.
Author kjo314 Posted March 9, 2006 Author Posted March 9, 2006 GUys i would give this girl another shot.. we were in a 3 year relaltionship and I have the oppertunity to go down there with her because my business is mobile and she was like "I don't want you to move down here for me because if you do and it doesn't work out then I would feel terrible" Why is she doing this...I know I messed up and started getting clingy but yet what is the next step....what do I do to show her... i thought i did by not contacting her for a month!
SmoochieFace Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 Maybe he should be thinking about what she's telling him. They may be harsh about it or they may be straightforward but there's usually some truth to what the ex's tell us about ourselves during the breakup. Yeah, she's wanting him to change*. Why is it that women get with guys and then proceed to want them to change? Sounds like a way to exert some sort of *control*... and that is definitely a bad thing. You should only exert control over yourself and no-one else. He shouldn't have to do anything except what I suggested - no more contact and get on with his life. He can find someone who will accept him for who he is.
Author kjo314 Posted March 9, 2006 Author Posted March 9, 2006 what do you mean by what she is saying? she contacted me by the way
SmoochieFace Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 Why is she doing this...I know I messed up and started getting clingy but yet what is the next step....what do I do to show her... i thought i did by not contacting her for a month! Because she is confused... she dropped you cuz you were *clingy* and then she fruits cuz you ddin't contact her for a month... what the hell does she want! Just move on...
NTB Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 Because she is confused... she dropped you cuz you were *clingy* and then she fruits cuz you ddin't contact her for a month... what the hell does she want! this is why she is crazy......maybe not crazy, she doesn't know what she wants dude move on
SmoochieFace Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 Maybe he should be thinking about what she's telling him. They may be harsh about it or they may be straightforward but there's usually some truth to what the ex's tell us about ourselves during the breakup. I don't care what any X has to say to me about me. The relationship is OVER, she left, there's no going back. She is *dead*. In a nutshell... you left me so don't waste any of your time and ESPECIALLY any of my time with your pathetic whiny *shots*. Just get on with your life cuz I have already done so. That's what I would tell her if I was the OP... it has worked marvels for me and it can for him too.
SmoochieFace Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 this is why she is crazy......maybe not crazy, she doesn't know what she wants dude move on Thank you... we seem to be in agreement. The OP has better things to do than to waste his time playing silly games.
Author kjo314 Posted March 9, 2006 Author Posted March 9, 2006 She is a good person though and I would love to be her friend.... at the least...but not when she does crap like this... She even went as far as to call me honey and sweetheart during the conversation.....that makes no sense to me at all
blind_otter Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 this is why she is crazy......maybe not crazy, she doesn't know what she wants dude move on Where does it say she spazed out when he didn't contact her? Maybe this was in another thread.
SmoochieFace Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 She is a good person though and I would love to be her friend.... at the least...but not when she does crap like this... Well, friendship isn't a *pick and choose* deal. You can't be her friend only during her *good* days. That's just ridiculous. She even went as far as to call me honey and sweetheart during the conversation.....that makes no sense to me at all Of course it doesn't make sense! She's confused. Confused people for the most part don't make sense. BTW, how old is she if you don't mind?
kitten chick Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 When men say women are crazy (aside from the ones that actually have a personality disorder) it's a sign to me that they just don't understand women nor do they understand themselves.
SmoochieFace Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 When men say women are crazy (aside from the ones that actually have a personality disorder) it's a sign to me that they just don't understand women nor do they understand themselves. So there are no crazy women whatsoever? All right... since you mentioned *understanding women*... help us *dumbasses* here understand what this confused gal of KJO's is doing. I'm pulling up a chair and cracking open a beer. Let's have it.
blind_otter Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 As far as I can tell, she left him for clearly defined reasons - he was being clingy and needy. He himself said this isn't how he normally is, but was "going through a rough period" for approx. 2 months. Which means, she isn't asking him to change who he is, per se, but a certain tendency to fall apart when things get stressful and rely on her too much. He was probably already in a tight spot because he had been in a rough period, so the breakup probably affected him moreso than it normally would have. Thus, he initiated NC. She probably assumed things were cooling down, and called him back in a month to more clearly explain why she chose to do what she did, without the emotional stress of the initial breakup interfering with communication.
SmoochieFace Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 As far as I can tell, she left him for clearly defined reasons - he was being clingy and needy. He himself said this isn't how he normally is, but was "going through a rough period" for approx. 2 months. Utter crap. So she bolts when he's going through a *rough patch*? What kind of a GF is she?! You don't just up and leave cuz someone's having problems... good god, the man isn't perfect! Which means, she isn't asking him to change who he is, per se, but a certain tendency to fall apart when things get stressful and rely on her too much. If she can't handle that then she has no business being with him. He is a certain way and he shouldn't have to change that. Being in a relationship means you DO rely on each other at times... I don't understand why these young couples these days are so scared of this? I have always believed that relationships are a team effort - sometimes one partner needs a boost... other times the other partner needs it. Nothing wrong with relying on the other partner once in a while. *sigh* I dunno... maybe this is how things are done these days... all this *gung ho* independence and *you should NEVER rely on your partner* garbage. Well, if you really feel that way then why get involved in the first place?
Recommended Posts