GB111 Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 My girlfriend and I broke up an 8 month relationship the day after Valentine's Day. She is a very jealous person, and after breaking up with me the day before Valentine's Day, she said on V-day morning that she wanted to get back together. Well, by this time, I had been invited to dinner with another friend (woman). We had a very nice, non-romantic dinner, and I went home. At home I found a plant with a card on my steps. A very nice card from my girlfriend, E. I was quite happy to see this and called her immediately to say how happy I was she had stopped by and that I'd like to see her. She informed me that she was "feeling sick", a recurrent theme over the last few weeks. She had been insistent that I had cheated on her during a recent trip to Richmond, Virginia to which there was utterly NO truth. Since breaking off our relationship, E has repeatedly lied to me. After not speaking for 3 days, she called me and asked if I'd like to talk things through with her. I, of course, loving her as I do, said "yes", and she asked me to come by her work the next day and talk. The next morning, I got a call saying that she was unavailable and could I come by the next day. Of course, I said "yes". I was beginning to feel that perhaps I should not pursue this relationship any longer, but decided to stop by briefly after lunch with a friend. I found the strength of my emotions for her to be overwhelming. She was leaving work for the day and upon leaving told me she was going to stop by my house that evening. The evening came without a call or visit. I called her repeatedly. An admittedly immature and improper way to behave. The next morning, when I called to apologize, she had changed her phone number. One day I stopped by her work and while "standoffish", she did speak with me. I told her I wanted to work things out and after a bit of discussion, she agreed to get together and talk. She then got up from her chair, came over, and kissed me. I was quite pleased as I know that the issues in our relationship (primarily jealousy) could be resolved, and I was willing to take whatever steps were necessary to resolve them. That weekend, I had to go out of town, but thought of her the entire time. I purchased a couple of small gifts for her and her child, and stopped by her house to give them to her and say "hello". To my shock and sadness, she was on the sofa in the arms of another man. I was crushed. I went to her office yesterday to ask her if she wanted to explain, given that she had said she wanted to work things out. She apologized. I asked her if she loved him and she replied sheepishly that she did not, that she had only known him a week, and that this person had many problems. She informed me that he knew all about me, and that he was so mad that I had come by that he left shortly thereafter. She said she wanted to speak with me later in the day, saying that she would call me at 5:30 PM. By now I somewhat knew what was likely to happen and go so wound up, I stopped by her work to ask if she was being honest with me. She said she was and promised repeatedly that she would call. Again, nothing. Now, after a long night of feeling sorry for myself, I am at my wits end. I have given up any attempts to speak and am simply dropping this problem. I realize I don't have a choice, but a little closure or understanding would make a big difference. Any thoughts on why someone would consistently and purposefully lie and mislead me? While I was far from a model boyfriend, I was never dishonest or disloyal to this person. Now I am left with nothing but confusion. Thank you again for your thoughts.
tikigods Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 I think you need to cut off all contact with her and move on with your life.
jerbear Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 Her words mean onething but her actions say otherwise. Phone number changed & a guy in her arms. Time to cut her loose and move on.
Author GB111 Posted March 9, 2006 Author Posted March 9, 2006 No worries. I've dropped her, though admittedly it's only been 2 days. Having said that, I know that's the right answer. Nonetheless, I'm less looking for advice (though I appreciate it) as I am some logic as to what's going on in her head. Thanks again for the advice. Duly noted and done. Beyond the fact that it's extremely immature, I'm still curious. Not hoping to get back together. My own pride won't let that happen. It would just be another heartbreak waiting to happen.
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