Candied-Heart Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 When do you know it's just "not working out" in your relationship? Apart from obvious things like cheating and too many fights. Like, the not so good treatment you give and receive? What's worth staying for? what's generally 'fixable'?
riobikini Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 Some of the highlights in the 'fixable' category that I find I am able to deal with, personally: If it is cheating (not an addiction to it) -I can forgive. If it is loss of interest, -it can be reignited, with the right effort. If it is physically-related, -it can be treated (in most cases, i.e. E.D. -but still shouldn't be a reason for dissolution of a relationship). If it is emotionally-related, -it can also be treated (but difficult cases may require that both partners join help sessions). If it is family-related, -frank, compassionate discussion, along with some firm effort, perseverance, intelligent compromise, and insight can take it off the burner, cool it down and set things straight. What's not usually 'fixable' from my own experiences: Repeated cheating. Commitment-phobia. (Especially with the dominating trait being that he's always looking for someone 'better'). A relationship addicted partner (i.e. one who has a history of starting a relationship and breaking up a few months later, over and over again with a different person each time). A relationship with someone obsessed with re-living their youth. A relationship with someone who's morals, ideals, and value system turns out completely different from yours, and who prefers keeping it that way. An alcoholic -he can get into treatment, but you'll never change him, (mine was a white-collar professional). A relationship with someone who leans on you like you're his therapist, or his mother, -but refuses to change his behavior. A relationship with someone who absolutely refuses to communicate verbally with you about anything except the superficial. A relationship with a person who deliberately withholds affection, (to punish?) -and refuses to get help with the issue. I'm sure there are more, but those are the ones that have applied to me. -Rio
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