PlentyLV007 Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 I told a guy that wants me as FWB that I wanted to date him.... now...I haven't heard from his since I told him. I'm supposed to see him on Friday, now unsure if I should. If I don't go then he might think I'm hurt by him not responding...but I'm more curious as to why he wouldn't date me? Y would he tell me I'm such a great person, hot and personality is great but, wouldn't date me and just wants to sleep w/ me? I don't get it? Guys....anybody:confused:
MadDog Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 Maybe he's not ready for a relationship? Remember that timing has a lot to do with whether a relationship will happen. In either case, it's pretty obvious that he's more interested in the physical at this point so you can either take it or leave it. I definately wouldn't get involved physically hoping that it'll eventually lead into a relationship. Getting it on won't make him any more ready for a relationship than he is now. MD
Author PlentyLV007 Posted March 9, 2006 Author Posted March 9, 2006 I know what you mean....about time and trust me I don't sleep w/ someone to hope that it starts in something. Ur right about him not wanting a relationship and timing is everything.... Here's the thing...I don't date someone to hope it leads to something....to me dating is going out and having a good time while getting physically stimulated at the same time. There is nothing wrong w/ that.... FWB is someone you just sleep w/ and that's it. No emotional connection what so ever....which I've done and I haven't enjoyed it unless I've had a couple of drinks. Which to me is shallow of me. That's not what I want. I'm not like most girls that hope to get a relationship of a guy...just some apprecition for the physical attraction!!! =)
MadDog Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 You sound like a pretty cool girl that knows what she's doing (e.g. you realize that sex has a physical and emotional component to it.) It seems like you're looking for more than just sex at this point so your best bet is probably to look for another guy that can offer you that. For any guy you meet, all you have to do is figure out 1. what is he offering me and 2. what do I want from him? If those two things match, you're golden. MD
Author PlentyLV007 Posted March 9, 2006 Author Posted March 9, 2006 I feel like once you tell a guy (most guys) you just don't want sex they immediately assume that you want a relationship...!!!??? I mean c'mon....I know there are a lot of needy chicks, and relationship type chicks and Isure one day I'll want a relationship but....how do you explain to a guy..."hey man...your cool and great to hang out with...let's chill" Why label or ask anything about a "relationship"? Most men assume that if you sleep w/a girl that she'll get feelings right away.... Sure maybe most girls....but not me...and it's difficult to stand out when the majority of women have to chain down a man when they have intimate, physcial and emotional connections. Geez...whatever happen to just let it ride.... Good times....what's so hard about that....
MadDog Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 I know what you mean. I think it'd be pretty cool to just hang out with a girl, have some fun, and if something physical happens, it happens. No hang ups, just fun. I call it casual dating but not too many girls are keen on the idea. I understand why so many girls are adamant about only giving it up if it's going to lead to something. It's the whole stud/slut double standard society has created. If she realizes that's crap though, she ends up having much more fun in my opinion. Besides, why do so many girls feel like they're "giving it up" when they have sex with a guy? Isn't it enjoyable for them too? MD
silverbeamer Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 When you told him that you didn't only want to hook up with him he took that as you wanting a relationship. Whether you actually think thats what you want or not- that's what you asked for. Dog-- how is just hanging out with a girl casually not a relationship? According to Webster the definition of a relationship is : a state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealings. So it really doesn't matter if you're labeled as bf/gf. If you are 'hanging' out with someone you techinically do have a relationship with them.
MadDog Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 Dog-- how is just hanging out with a girl casually not a relationship? According to Webster the definition of a relationship is : a state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealings. So it really doesn't matter if you're labeled as bf/gf. If you are 'hanging' out with someone you techinically do have a relationship with them. When I say relationship, I mean a romantic relationship. You have a "relationship" with your parents too but you would never say "I'm in a relationship with my mom." Therefore just because I'm hanging out with a girl casually doesn't mean I'm in a romantic relationship with her. A romantic relationship implies a commitment. MD
Author PlentyLV007 Posted March 9, 2006 Author Posted March 9, 2006 When you told him that you didn't only want to hook up with him he took that as you wanting a relationship. Whether you actually think thats what you want or not- that's what you asked for. That's not what I meant...and that's not what I'm asking for.... I guess with each guy I'm just going to have to be more detailed and explained....but, you know what gets me....what's the big deal of dating someone anywho???
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