GlowWorm Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 My b/f recently has started going out on loooads of lads only nights out and even when theyre not on lads nights out he never invites me round anymore when he's with them not even on the odd occassion...which i don't understand because i get on with his mates ok and they seem to not mind me hanging round with them and even have invited me to join them on lads nights out....but my b/f said he didnt really want me to come because he just wanted it to be a lads thing and then he started making excuses like 'his mates invited me out of politeness and he doesnt think that his mates are themselves around me not as loud etc and apparently its because im quiet and a girl (which i got really upset about and questionned him on further and he said that it wasnt just me and gave examples of friends they know but havent known long enough to completely be themselves around) and apparently its unfair me being there because his mates dont have girlfriends (but we arent one of those couples who are allover eachother all the time infront of everyone and ignore everyone else and im not a stroppy g/f who says no you can't play footie and racing on the playstation....i get involved, i ask them to teach me how to play so i can join in and have a laugh with them)' but i didn't understand because on nights we've all been out together i get on really well with his mates and sit chatting with them and having a laugh and they dont seem awkward and like they can't be themselves around me i've known them as long as ive known my boyfriend and we were all mates for a year before i got together with him...and i never flirt with his mates and they dont flirt with me they kinda treat me like one of the guys....and i'm starting to miss seeing them it's been that long since we all got together and im starting to feel like my boyfriend wants to keep his mates and his g/f separate which happened with my last b/f and i couldn't understand that either. It's not like i ring them up for a chat or text them or email them and we hardly chat on msn so it's not like im moving in on his territory or anything and stealing his mates. Me and my b/f hardly get to spend enough time together as it is...i mean we reaaaaally dont spend enough time together because his jobs etc and he knows this and he's got the house to himself for a week and the first night he has it free and fiiiiiiiinally has a night off work...he's havin his mates round...tonight...which he'd forgotten about and i asked to see him and now he's just said 'im really sorry honey i forgot im having my mates round tonight so you cant come round' so instead i get to spend tomorrow night with him while he's working...why couldn't i just hang out with him and his mates? Whats going on??????????????????????????????????????
Pyro Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 It is healthy for the two of you to do your own things, being apart. I agree that he should be able to hang out with his lads as well as you at the same time. Some people have been known to get in the "comfort" zone. He gets so use to having things be one way. Try talking to him. Let him know how you feel. Compromise.
MadDog Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 It's true. Being able to hang out with the guys just isn't the same when a girlfriend is there. It just changes the mood a lot unless she's cool and is one of the few girls that can "be one of the guys." I wouldn't worry about it unless he's spending way more time with them than you. In that case you need to evaluate where you two stand as far as the seriousness of the relationship. I'm definately going to be looking for a girl that understands the importance of having friends outside of the relationship. It seems like a lot of the girls I run into only hang out with their friends while they're single and want to spend 24/7 with you as soon as you guys start dating. I know it's hard to get enough of me but come on! MD
catgirl1927 Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 Guys need time to be nasty guys with their friends. It doesn't have anything to do with you, it's just like everyone says, they can't really be gross and disgusting with you around. What's funny is when you start having "girl's nights" they get a little huffy... but that's probably what you should do.
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