justhavetoletgo Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 She sent me what appears to be a final warning slash threat. It states if you don't want to talk to me thats cool, tell me straight up but remember that you were the one that wanted to be friends and keep in touch. WTF???? Yes I did want to be friends at first because i couldn't bare the thought of her not in my life at all. also as i'm sure you are all aware you aren't exactly in the best mind set after a breakup so what you might think is best for you at the time really isn't. I did contact her after the breakup for about 3 days( thats when I was almost begging her to keep in touch) she replied later to me( this was the first time after the break she contacted me) that it probaly wasn't a good idea. I then started no contact as in my previous posts she has tried to contact me 7 times before this txt and I didn't respond to one of them. now she wants to keep in touch or so she makes it seem but I think there is more to it like keeping me close in case something doesn't work out for her sort of thing........what do you guys think????? she still hasn't made any notions to me that she may want to work on what went wrong and see if we could fix it so i have no intention of breaking no contact to get hurt again Should I respond to this txt? should I keep the no contact going?
Simons Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 She sent me what appears to be a final warning slash threat. It states if you don't want to talk to me thats cool, tell me straight up but remember that you were the one that wanted to be friends and keep in touch. WTF???? Yes I did want to be friends at first because i couldn't bare the thought of her not in my life at all. also as i'm sure you are all aware you aren't exactly in the best mind set after a breakup so what you might think is best for you at the time really isn't. I did contact her after the breakup for about 3 days( thats when I was almost begging her to keep in touch) she replied later to me( this was the first time after the break she contacted me) that it probaly wasn't a good idea. I then started no contact as in my previous posts she has tried to contact me 7 times before this txt and I didn't respond to one of them. now she wants to keep in touch or so she makes it seem but I think there is more to it like keeping me close in case something doesn't work out for her sort of thing........what do you guys think????? she still hasn't made any notions to me that she may want to work on what went wrong and see if we could fix it so i have no intention of breaking no contact to get hurt again Should I respond to this txt? should I keep the no contact going? an invitation to treat, don't take it, this is all but a *red flag*
SmoochieFace Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 If she broke it off with you then do not contact her for ANY reason. She dumped on you, she's out, she's bye-bye. Stick to NC... and to hell with her *threats*. Jeez... some people really think they are SO important!
qnmc Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 "now she wants to keep in touch or so she makes it seem but I think there is more to it like keeping me close in case something doesn't work out for her sort of thing" I think you hit the nail on the head here. She sounds like she just wants your attention. If it was an amicable break and you feel the need to respond, I'd send her an email and say something to the affect of "I appreciate your trying to get in touch with me, but I need to move on from you now. Perhaps we can be friends in the years ahead, but for now I can't have you in my life." If she screwed you over or was lame/mean to you, F her, let her suffer in silence.
SmoochieFace Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 I wouldn't respond whether the breakup was amiable or not. A breakup is still a breakup... meaning the relationship is OVER and there is to be ZERO contact.
qnmc Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 Good point SF. If anything by maintaining NC, if she really wants you back, she'll find a way to "run into you" or send you some kind of "come to Jesus, let's get back together" email. If this doesn't happen it means she really was never interested in getting back together and you're much better off since you maintained your dignity with NC. Your call.
SmoochieFace Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 Good point SF. If anything by maintaining NC, if she really wants you back, she'll find a way to "run into you" or send you some kind of "come to Jesus, let's get back together" email. If this doesn't happen it means she really was never interested in getting back together and you're much better off since you maintained your dignity with NC. Your call. Hey, she can *want* all she wants but my rule stays fast: you walk, you lose. No going back to anything.
Simons Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 she'll find a way to "run into you" or send you some kind of "come to Jesus, let's get back together" email. LOL, will never happen, man, just forget it.
CaliGuy Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 "if you don't want to talk to me thats cool, tell me straight up but remember that you were the one that wanted to be friends and keep in touch." "I appreciate your trying to get in touch with me, but I need to move on from you now. Perhaps we can be friends in the years ahead, but for now I can't have you in my life." I think this is a good reply, actually. You have maintained NC but that doesn't mean you never reply at all. In this case, don't let her manipulate you. Just say something like. "At this point I don't think being friends is a good idea. You have decided to move on and it's best I do the same. Take care." Might sound a little harsh but still, don't let her manipulate you. She will be angry at the reply but she'll also see that you're not going to be easily intimidated and that you're moving on as well. I don't know if you may want to reconcile in the future. If not, don't reply. If so I think replying back in this manner shows her you aren't going to be a pushover.
Author justhavetoletgo Posted March 8, 2006 Author Posted March 8, 2006 thanks everyone for the advice she has called me 2 times since she must be really pissed or something but I am no longer with her so thats what is kind of hard to understand ............but she dumped me.........so why should I respond......she should understand that! she dumped me blamed it on me and didn't have the guts to tell me straight up she dragged it on for over a month while we were on break.................in fact if I didn't force her to tell me what she was really feeling we would probaly still be on a break! I feel like replying to her and telling her that she needs to be more straight up( you know tell someone when you don't have feelings for them anymore instead of dragging it on telling them the total opposite!!!!!!!!!!!!!) especially when you are dating someone she tells me to be staright up in the txt message and i'm not in contact with her so what is there to be straight up about???? i mean she totally makes herself look stupid when she says stuff like that
Author justhavetoletgo Posted March 8, 2006 Author Posted March 8, 2006 If she broke it off with you then do not contact her for ANY reason. She dumped on you, she's out, she's bye-bye. Stick to NC... and to hell with her *threats*. Jeez... some people really think they are SO important! no kidding
In Sync Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 I wouldn't respond whether the breakup was amiable or not. A breakup is still a breakup... meaning the relationship is OVER and there is to be ZERO contact. I agree with you, after reading so many threads where people go back and forth and start replying..the way I see it..what's the point? It just prolongs the final act. ANd leaves you a ball of twisted mess. I made the mistake by breaking NC, after I was dumped and thought by continuing contact would somehow reverse the change of events...it didn't and I only ended up getting hurt worse because of it. SO forget responding to the text messages...they are pointless. A breakup is a breakup. I'm a 5 month NC'r and proud to say I survived. And so will you justhavetoletgo!
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