only7201 Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 um okay. so my boyfriend has been going on webcam with other guys (i'm a girl, he's "bi".. really he likes men, and me. its a long story) for a while now, and lately he's been emailing men on craigslist. i'm not sure if he's cheated on me. but since he started going on cam, i started snooping a little (i know i shouldn't, but i feel like i'm losing it), and it turns out that along with all that fun stuff, he's been reading incest stories. so i'm a little bit freaked out. and apparently this has been going on for some time. most of them are father/son stuff but there are some brothers stories too which is just really creepy because he does have a brother. now i know everyone has their preferences about stuff but....i don't know about this. i mean, i know its none of my business either, but now that i know i'm really freaked out. i don't know if i should try to talk to him about it, or pretend i don't know? except now i don't want to have sex with him because i'm scared he's going to be thinking about his brother or something. there's a lot of different factors to this too (we've been having a whole truckload of problems in the sexual department, i posted about this yesterday), but i really don't know what i should do. i know it's not my place to ask him about it, but heh.. i'm pretty sure it's not healthy. what should i do????
SmoochieFace Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 ...what should i do???? How about leaving him if his behaviour freaks you out so much? Why would you want to stay with someone who is so clearly screwed up anyway?
Author only7201 Posted March 8, 2006 Author Posted March 8, 2006 because i love him. we've been friends for 9 years, we've been a couple for four. i can't just up and leave him.
SmoochieFace Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 because i love him. we've been friends for 9 years, we've been a couple for four. i can't just up and leave him. *sigh* All right, well, good luck anyway.
JadeStar Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 "I know its none of my business anyway." Yes it is, he is YOUR b/f. If you have no plans of leaving, then you need to either voice your concerns to him on the matter, or accept the fact this is happening. Personaly I wouldn't think you would want to just accept it. Jade
SmoochieFace Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 Personaly I wouldn't think you would want to just accept it. Oh, I think she does. After all... she *loves* him and can't leave him. Proof's in the puddin'. This guy sounds like a real piece of work. Goes both ways (ever think of what he may be passing on to you during your nightly couplings???), he's a friggin' Peeping Tom (oh, how nice.), and now he's into those *incest is best* stories. Holy Wah... this dude's high class all the way! What's it gonna be next time... stories about little boys, perhaps? That would be the bow on top of the oh so neatly wrapped package, wouldn't it?
magda Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 I don't think that he's necessarily turned on by his brother/father because he's turned on by incest stories. But it is certainly your business what is going on, only701. If you honestly feel that you can't talk to your boyfriend about his sex life, what kind of relationship is that? You can love someone without being commited to them, you know?
Author only7201 Posted March 8, 2006 Author Posted March 8, 2006 alright so if it is my business, how do i bring it up? it's obviously like his deep dark secret, i don't know how i can approach him about it without him freaking out
magda Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 I dunno.. before you do that - what kind of response are you hoping for, here? An explanation of why he finds it a turn on? Probably not gonna happen. Who can explain stuff like that? I'm thinking more about approaching him on the web cam/craigslist thing. If that turns into an okay heartfelt discussion, bring up his fantasies and your concerns about satisfying them, or whatever. You can tell him his behavior has led you to do something you feel was wrong, the snooping. If he freaks out, maybe it's time you guys had some time apart and figure out whether your current relationship terms are working out.
Outcast Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 There are a lot of people who fantasize about things they would never ever do. Fiction is very different from real life. You go to a horror movie and like it but you wouldn't want to be chased by an axe-wielding murderer in person. This is why snooping is a very bad idea - you might find things out that you can't handle even if there's not anything actually wrong with them.
BlahBlahQueen Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 most of them are father/son stuff but there are some brothers stories too which is just really creepy because he does have a brother. EEK!!!! GUT AVERSION, GUT AVERSION!
littlepiggy1 Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 There are a lot of people who fantasize about things they would never ever do. Fiction is very different from real life. You go to a horror movie and like it but you wouldn't want to be chased by an axe-wielding murderer in person. I'd second this. Just because he is reading incest stories does not necessarily means he wants to commit incest. For example, I admit I get turned on by tranny porn. But I don't actually want to go and have sex with a transexual. Sometimes fantasy is fantasy and reality is reality. That said, if it really freaks you out, you need to evaluate whether it's something you can handle, because it's obviously something that he is expressing sexually (whether fantasy or not).
fehr4jesus Posted March 12, 2006 Posted March 12, 2006 PORN IS DISSGUSTING!!!! I DON"T BELIVE IN PORN.
Citizen Erased Posted March 13, 2006 Posted March 13, 2006 Gradually, as men and women use porn, they get bored. Tastes for different porn matures into something other than the required hot guy/girl going at it.... sometimes it can be gay or lesbian, whatever or sometimes taboo subjects eg incest. This is not at all a reflection on his mental well-being, but just that his porn tastes are maturing. If it makes you that uncomfortable then address this with him, don't be afraid that your boyfriend wants to go at it with his dad or brother, when he reads this he probably isn't actually thinking of his family, but of the fantasy. I am all for snooping in some circumstances, but in your's I would suggest staying away unless you want to find out anything else about this boyfriend of yours. We all have our little secrets, so let him keep his.
Citizen Erased Posted March 13, 2006 Posted March 13, 2006 PORN IS DISSGUSTING!!!! I DON"T BELIVE IN PORN. That's nice and all, but this is not the thread for that so get over it. Please do not hijack this thread because of your insecurities with porn thank you very much
Ladylay Posted March 13, 2006 Posted March 13, 2006 um okay. so my boyfriend has been going on webcam with other guys (i'm a girl, he's "bi".. really he likes men, and me. its a long story) for a while now, and lately he's been emailing men on craigslist. i'm not sure if he's cheated on me. but since he started going on cam, i started snooping a little (i know i shouldn't, but i feel like i'm losing it), and it turns out that along with all that fun stuff, he's been reading incest stories. so i'm a little bit freaked out. and apparently this has been going on for some time. most of them are father/son stuff but there are some brothers stories too which is just really creepy because he does have a brother. now i know everyone has their preferences about stuff but....i don't know about this. i mean, i know its none of my business either, but now that i know i'm really freaked out. i don't know if i should try to talk to him about it, or pretend i don't know? except now i don't want to have sex with him because i'm scared he's going to be thinking about his brother or something. there's a lot of different factors to this too (we've been having a whole truckload of problems in the sexual department, i posted about this yesterday), but i really don't know what i should do. i know it's not my place to ask him about it, but heh.. i'm pretty sure it's not healthy. what should i do???? I consider myself very liberal, will try anything once & if I like it do it again. Incest freaks me out, I cant understand why anybody would find that interesting to read. Unless it was for research, Or if someone has been a victim of it. You really need to talk this out, because if this is a serious want of his, he needs help.
Recommended Posts