Guest Posted April 9, 2006 Posted April 9, 2006 Thank you again for the replies. I have been feeling really depressed and alone so my mother came to stay with me for a while. Her visit helped a lot, although my spirits are back down now that I'm on my own again. I have been in counseling for over a month now. My anxiety attacks and symptoms have given way to depression. My therapist thought I would come out of it, but since I'm having some pretty serious symptoms which are affecting my work and life in general, he referred me to a psychitrist. I'll see the psychiatrist on Friday and most likely begin an anti-depressant. I've already been prescribed Ambien. Right now I'm not eating much, sleeping restlessly, and basically leaving the house just for work and necessary trips. I'm happy about the upcoming appointment because I really, really just want to feel better. I'll probably continue posting in the "coping" section. I did find a flicker of hope today - I was at the mall picking up some work stuff and the local fire/police departments were having a safety fair. There was one very, very hot fireman who caught my eye and he was looking at me, too. The fact that I was even able to have thoughts going through my mind about another guy cheered me up a bit. Hopefully sometime in the future I'll meet somone who is able to love me in the way I deserve to be loved. Until then, it's just a matter of getting over this and trying to move on.
Author snickerdoodle Posted April 9, 2006 Author Posted April 9, 2006 Thank you again for the replies. I have been feeling really depressed and alone so my mother came to stay with me for a while. Her visit helped a lot, although my spirits are back down now that I'm on my own again. I have been in counseling for over a month now. My anxiety attacks and symptoms have given way to depression. My therapist thought I would come out of it, but since I'm having some pretty serious symptoms which are affecting my work and life in general, he referred me to a psychitrist. I'll see the psychiatrist on Friday and most likely begin an anti-depressant. I've already been prescribed Ambien. Right now I'm not eating much, sleeping restlessly, and basically leaving the house just for work and necessary trips. I'm happy about the upcoming appointment because I really, really just want to feel better. I'll probably continue posting in the "coping" section. I did find a flicker of hope today - I was at the mall picking up some work stuff and the local fire/police departments were having a safety fair. There was one very, very hot fireman who caught my eye and he was looking at me, too. The fact that I was even able to have thoughts going through my mind about another guy cheered me up a bit. Hopefully sometime in the future I'll meet somone who is able to love me in the way I deserve to be loved. Until then, it's just a matter of getting over this and trying to move on.
whichwayisup Posted April 9, 2006 Posted April 9, 2006 There was one very, very hot fireman who caught my eye and he was looking at me, too. The fact that I was even able to have thoughts going through my mind about another guy cheered me up a bit. Those are the little things which WILL make you feel wonderful. Build upon that! And hey, firefighters are HOT! Keep a journal too of your feelings and thoughts. Getting it out will help rid of negative feelings inside you. Your therapist will probably get you to do exercises and other things to make sure your mind stays more positive. You are strong, stronger than you think! The desire you have to BEAT this depression and work through the loss and pain is much greater than you know. It's inside you, even if there are days you may think you won't get through it, you will! Hugs!
Author snickerdoodle Posted April 9, 2006 Author Posted April 9, 2006 Thank you for the kind words. It helps a lot to know that someone else has been through the same thing and turned out okay!
whichwayisup Posted April 9, 2006 Posted April 9, 2006 Pain is pain, loss is loss so I can completely sympathize with what you're going through...Though to be honest I think your situation is much more painful because of the cirumstances. That is awful and it's sad. You're welcome and remember! Keep an eye out for those firefighers on the trucks! Apparently they enjoy being gawked at ALOT! (I have afew FF friends so they've told me this!) Sidenote: I suffer from an anxiety disorder and (though I'm much better now) been seeing a therapist for it. (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.) So I see alot of good that will come out of your therapy sessions. Won't be easy, but it's worth it.
Outcast Posted April 9, 2006 Posted April 9, 2006 It's hard to lose a marriage for any reason. It's the companionship, the future plans you had, and all your habits, traditions - a whole life. It hurts and it takes a good while to get over for sure. If you can possibly wing it, take a trip with a relative or friend. A whole change of place and routine can do a world of good.
submart Posted April 10, 2006 Posted April 10, 2006 Snickerdoodle, My heart goes out to you!! I spent two years of my life with a gay man. He like your husband experimented with guys, visited gay clubs, and just seemed to have the gay "personality." After loosing my virginity to him, he told me he was bi. Later, he just seemed to become more interested in men. Many of my friends even thought he was gay while we dated. He's still battling the issue, as he is currently dating girl. Leaving him was hard, but I knew a relationship between us wouldn't work out for that (and other issues). A good friend of mine was married to a gay man for about 12 years. He was very affectionate in public ONLY. Other then that he wasn't aroused by his wife and wasn't affectionate with her. He eventually couldn't keep it in anymore, and said he was gay. They divorced and are best of friends today. It happens a lot. You are not alone and there is support out there!!!
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