pandnh4 Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 today the anxiety took hold of me and i lost my willpower... i decided to check up on my ex on tribe and myspace... nothing new or surprising except the addition of a bunch of new *friends*... i then texted her the following message: *hey, []. was thinking of you. hope you are doing well; miss you alot. - [].* it's been almost 4 weeks of nc but i cracked... i feel horrible, i couldn't resist checking up on her after keeping strong online for 2 weeks... then the images and memories got the best of me and i wanted to talk to her... couldn't get myself to call though... no response from her but this hurts alot... i miss her incredibly... anybody?
Art_Critic Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 Give yourself a break.. When you are learning to ride a bike you fall off and hurt yourself.. just get back on and try again.. This time remember that she didn't respond to you.
Author pandnh4 Posted March 6, 2006 Author Posted March 6, 2006 well it's only been 15 minutes anyway... she might be in class... who knows... today's been really rough so far... god, i miss her...
Art_Critic Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 well it's only been 15 minutes anyway... she might be in class... who knows... today's been really rough so far... god, i miss her... DO NOT text her anymore/again.... STOP Let it go right now
Author pandnh4 Posted March 6, 2006 Author Posted March 6, 2006 i won't... for some reason i don't think she's gonna respond anyway... what's up with everyone breaking nc lately? just went out for a short walk to clear my thoughts... even after that i still feel wrecked and confused...
Simons Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 She also might be really wanted to contact you..but after you did it first, she has no desire any more and not in a hurry because she knows now what you are thinking.
Author pandnh4 Posted March 6, 2006 Author Posted March 6, 2006 i don't know... from her online pages it looks like she's moving on ok, going out with people, and making new friends (real or online)... there is no trace of me there anyway... i guess i was just hoping for some sort of sign from her... that if i checked i might catch a subtle hint or something... funny thing though is she's posted comments on other people's pages that she used to think were bad or superficial people... can't help but wonder if she's buying into that... can't help but wonder about alot of things going on with her... still says single, but who knows? maybe she's even dating... =( i don't know what i'm looking for anymore... i'm pretty lost and feel worse now than i did at any point so far in this breakup...
Dinnj1 Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 Simon has a very good point. You'd be surprised how often this happens. Sometimes I think women have a lot more willpower. The 'man' cracks under pressure subconsciously satisfying her needs and questions.
Author pandnh4 Posted March 6, 2006 Author Posted March 6, 2006 well she did send me a text wishing me a happy birthday almost 3 weeks ago, 4 days after the breakup, to which i never responded... i guess she also realized later that day that i had removed her from online friend lists, etc... so maybe that gave her the hint that i no longer wanted to be friends or speak... maybe i brought all this upon myself... she might have just said, eff it, eff him, i'm moving on... i wish she did contact me and told me that she missed me though... i started the nc and now broke it... perhaps she got the idea and will now enforce it... this sucks really bad... i still love her, hard to let go...
Simons Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 well she did send me a text wishing me a happy birthday almost 3 weeks ago, 4 days after the breakup, to which i never responded... i guess she also realized later that day that i had removed her from online friend lists, etc... so maybe that gave her the hint that i no longer wanted to be friends or speak... maybe i brought all this upon myself... she might have just said, eff it, eff him, i'm moving on... i wish she did contact me and told me that she missed me though... i started the nc and now broke it... perhaps she got the idea and will now enforce it... this sucks really bad... i still love her, hard to let go... You have lost here my friend. She has all the advantage over you. It gonna take a strict NC on your part to ever equal her.
Dinnj1 Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 unfortunately, it's outta your hands now... you slipped and sent a message to her... big deal. What's the worst that could happen? She does or doesn't respond? Either way, you'll live. You'll be sad, but you'll still live. Time to start doing stuff... enjoy your friends.. spend some time with them... work extra hours... join a gym.... whatever.... the important thing is to rebuild your self asteem.... .one day at a time. And if she happens to respond ,great! But don't over analyze it, or make something out of it that it's not. Just be cool.
CaliGuy Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 Simon has a very good point. You'd be surprised how often this happens. Sometimes I think women have a lot more willpower. The 'man' cracks under pressure subconsciously satisfying her needs and questions. I believe women have a greater support structure than do men. Their friends will tell them "He was just a jerk, you're better off without him!" and are very supportive. Whereas men don't talk about their relationships much if at all and even though they may be hurting deep down, they don't dare tell their friends about it. That's why I think women can move on easier than men. They make their minds up over time whereas men tend to break it off quickly then regret their decision later. Just my $0.02.
Author pandnh4 Posted March 6, 2006 Author Posted March 6, 2006 i know, i just really want her to respond... my father says i'm crazy for thinking so but i wish she still did feel the same way about me... i'm still in denial, i don't why... even a month later, i'm still hoping for some sort of change and reconciliation... i don't know why; everybody i speak to says that she's got issues and isn't right for me but only i can see the positive in her because i saw it all, good and bad... you know, i finally did go out last friday night and got a girl's number... that momentarily helped rebuild a little self-esteem but then on saturday i started feeling awful again, almost like i was cheating on my ex or on my true feelings at the very least... anyway, i tried calling the girl last night but got her voicemail and still haven't heard back... i don't even want to date anyone else... still miss the ex...
Simons Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 Remember this..a woman's goal is to take controll over a man, and a man's job is not to let that happen.
Author pandnh4 Posted March 6, 2006 Author Posted March 6, 2006 something inside of me really wants to call her or at least explain to her why i couldn't be friends for a while or speak with her... explain the nc, how i needed time getting over her... maybe she'll understand... man, this day couldn't end any sooner... i'm sitting at work and haven't gotten a thing done all day... all this nc so far has gone to waste... i feel like i'm right back where i started, only not so numb from the initial breakup... moreso coping with the fact that she probably no longer has feelings for me and that we are through for good... i'm fixated on her *good* side and can't seem to accept that she was not a great person or that we weren't meant to be together...
destination_unknown Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 pandnh4, try not to wonder, will she respond...when will she respond...maybe her phone is lost...maybe she is busy with {project/work} and doesnt have time to think about it...what if she doesnt respond...etc. If she responds, she responds and you can deal with how she responds when that happens. If she doesnt at least you wont be torturing yourself wondering the above. I have a feeling i will break NC this weekend ... we are all human! Remember this..a woman's goal is to take controll over a man, and a man's job is not to let that happen. I hope that was a joke, otherwise i feel sad for you that you think all women are like that.
Simons Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 pandnh4, I hope that was a joke, otherwise i feel sad for you that you think all women are like that. no joke here, thats the truth
Dinnj1 Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 no joke here, thats the truth gonna have to agree.... not all, but at least 9 outta 10... the tenth being someone you're not really into or attracted too.
Art_Critic Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 Originally Posted by Simons Remember this..a woman's goal is to take controll over a man, and a man's job is not to let that happen If this is the case then a relationship means the failure of the man.. and the failure of a relationship means the failure of the woman Perhaps you need to rethink this mode of thought.
destination_unknown Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 If you label every new woman you meet with that idea it aint a very good basis to start a relationship on. I think 50% of relationships fail because one person thinks the other is trying to control them, even if its untrue! Sooooo many guys are paranoid about this! Sorry for thread being hiijacked!!
Author pandnh4 Posted March 7, 2006 Author Posted March 7, 2006 pandnh4, try not to wonder, will she respond...when will she respond...maybe her phone is lost...maybe she is busy with {project/work} and doesnt have time to think about it...what if she doesnt respond...etc. If she responds, she responds and you can deal with how she responds when that happens. If she doesnt at least you wont be torturing yourself wondering the above. for some reason i doubt she will respond... it's almost 5 hours later and still nothing... besides, i never answered her text for my birthday over 3 weeks ago; why would she respond to me now? unless she actually misses me or feels bad about how she treated me... wishful thinking...
Art_Critic Posted March 7, 2006 Posted March 7, 2006 it's almost 5 hours later and still nothing Man.. your counting the hrs since you texted her.. Dude.. try and find something else to think of.. Go out.. hit the gym.. go run.. anything so you don't count the hrs..
trone Posted March 7, 2006 Posted March 7, 2006 Pandnh, I do not know if she is ever gonna reply or not,but if she decides to do she wont do it right away just because you did nor respond to her message. She will take the revenge first and then if she really wants to she will get in touch with you. But in anycase, I agree with AC, do not count the minutes, you cant change the facts so forget about it and move on otherwise every minute will take years from your life.
Author pandnh4 Posted March 7, 2006 Author Posted March 7, 2006 granted, i never responded to her text message but she literally flipped out on me over the phone when she broke up with me... it was about that stupid f*cking gift card... she said she had been calling around trying to find out why the balance was nil... trying too hard to understand why when i said i would look into it, accusing me of things without proof, insulting me, etc... then she blurted out *i can't trust you, i don't like you, and don't want to have anything to do with you anymore...* before hanging up on me... i was so hurt by this and then didn't hear from her for several days when the text came in on my birthday... jeez, a lousy f*cking text message! couldn't even bother calling, not to mention that she had gone out the previous night with her friends when we were originally supposed to be together... i was so upset and disappointed... how hypritical of her when she used to complain about how fake it was of people to text or leave comments for birthdays rather than pick up the phone and call!!!
Author pandnh4 Posted March 8, 2006 Author Posted March 8, 2006 oh man, this is getting much worse... i thought i was doing a bit better and then checked up on her again yesterday and today... that part wasn't too bad... but it's noticing that she's been online, doing her thing, and just plain ignoring my text that are really getting to me... plus i know for a fact that she has not been checking up on me lately, at least not since late last week... i spoke with my neighbor last night over dinner and i felt a bit better... he is a retired football player who is single (although he was married a couple of times) and a firm believer in self-respect and self-determination... he warns of women who are quick to hunt a man who has money and can provide and also advises one who can complement in more than just an *eye-candy* sense... that kind of set me straight for a bit, at least for the rest of the evening... i dreamed of her last night though, actually the past couple of nights and they have been nothing short of disturbing... the past keeps haunting me no matter how hard i try to let go... it's also hard accepting the fact that either she no longer cares, or has moved on, or both... sorry about the rant but today is becoming another difficult day for me... i figured i would just post here again rather than start a new thread... anyone?
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