he's done it again; I just don't believe he doesn't feel the same way

[ddd]

Hi guys - please help. My bf and I met while I was living and working abroad and spent 3 most beautiful months together (basically living together). When we met however, I knew that I'd be leaving the country in three months time as my employment contract ran out - I was very honest with him about that.

 

And so I left, which broke both our hearts. We maintained long distance relationship but he always had problmes with that (saying he missed me too much and needed me - he is 25, I am 27). At that stage I couldn't come back and live in the same location as he did but I made it clear that I was trying to come back (just not very simple with the job). Anyway, we kept the relationship for another year and saw each other quite frequently.

 

Then suddenly, out of the blue, he breaks up saying he doesn't feel the same way anymore. He did this once before after which we got back together and he admitted to doing that just to get back at me for leaving him. This time round, he's done it again and I just don't believe when he says he doesn't feel the same way. Deep down I know he loves and cares for me - even though he was rude to me (bascially saying to me never to contact him again). I also know he is sick at the moment which may have some sort of an impact on all of this.

 

I am mainitaining strict NC since he broke up and made sure that I was always nice to him, even if he wasn't to me, and showed that I resepcted his decision. I just don't know why he would do such a thing so suddenly and whether my gut feeling (that he still cares) is wrong. Please help shed some light - your responses would be much appreciated. lol

[NTB]

dump the guy and move on you don't need someone who is playing games just to get back at you.........what are we in 5th grade

[ddd]

I agree with you - he shouldn't be playing games like that, but I do still love and care for him deeply. I know I should move on and forget, but that's easier said than done, although I am doing my best to maintain no contact.

[bellaD]

Best advice- NO CONTACT! NO CONTACT! NO CONTACT! Do it out of Respect Yourself!! Why would you chase or call someone who doesn't share the same feelings??

Dont give him the satisfaction of the call...text..nothing.

 

I know you love him...and that's fine, just don't show him

[ddd]

Thank you BellaD - my self respect is the only thing that's stopping me from contacting him...that and the fact that I know he is counting on me showing my love for him...and I am just not going to give him the satisfaction of a call or text. He is just so annoyingly stubborn!

 

Is it normal after a break up to feel convinced that the other person still cares for you or am I just living in total denial? I have been through very painful break ups before so I am not new to brokenheartsville. lol

[CaliGuy]

Thank you BellaD - my self respect is the only thing that's stopping me from contacting him...that and the fact that I know he is counting on me showing my love for him...and I am just not going to give him the satisfaction of a call or text. He is just so annoyingly stubborn!

 

Is it normal after a break up to feel convinced that the other person still cares for you or am I just living in total denial? I have been through very painful break ups before so I am not new to brokenheartsville. lol

 

It's normal to feel that way. He may care, just not at the level you would correlate with being in love. Don't let that fool you though. Take the advice of others and respect yourself.

[Guest]

Honey- there's worse things than broken heartsville- and that's mosesville - In de nile (get what I'm saying here? ) First off all, you had a good run this is waht happens..you fall in love..you see what works and sometimes it just doesn't. He seems rather immature(although we have our moments of that now don't we? ) but he could actually be telling you the truth. Either way- aren't you worth a guy who WANTS you and your around? who WANTS to talk to you? You are baby and it's hard no one said it wasn't but you'll get through this

[ddd]

Thank you very much to you all - for your understanding, care and advice. I totally agree with everything you are saying and will not do a thing to try to get him back. Dumpees take such a blow to their ego and self confidence that they almost begin to feel that they are not worth talking to and that their ex has the right to behave the way they do. And no matter how hard, we all have to pick ourselves up and find someone else who will care and respect us - and once we get past the initial pain, we will realise that there are plenty of those around - life is beautiful, afterall.