tlm76 Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 Hi guys, I've been browsing since it happened to me on roughly Jan 10 after a year and a half. I've read most stories and they have helped. It sucks that we are all here in the same boat but its become obvious to me that we are all a similar group of people. WE CARE. We give a s*** that our realtionship didnt work out. We care enough to try and learn about love and relationships. We care about people and what they have been through or are going through. i think that if you are here that you are honest and caring. That if you experience true pain then you are also destined to experience true joy. Im having a hard time at the moment but as much as i want her back i know i can never take her back. cheer up Tony
Ariadne Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 Hey, That's nice. I didn't think of it that way as much as i want her back i know i can never take her back. What did she do that you can't take her back? Ariadne
Author tlm76 Posted March 6, 2006 Author Posted March 6, 2006 Bassically cheated once (emotional affair, kissed not sex she says) Then lied about going to lunch with another guy.
Ariadne Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 Ah, Like most of the guys here... sigh... Ah well, Ariadne
Author tlm76 Posted March 6, 2006 Author Posted March 6, 2006 It took this happening for me to realise that we are not right for each other. My only boundaries are dont cheat, dont lie, dont disrespect me by doing the previous two. Anyway it happens for a reason and when i find the reason ill let u guys know. It hurts and im hurting but i know it will stop. She is still the last thing i think about at night and the first thing in the morning. Someone BETTER WILL come along.
Author tlm76 Posted March 6, 2006 Author Posted March 6, 2006 Hey, That's nice. I didn't think of it that way as much as i want her back i know i can never take her back. What did she do that you can't take her back? Ariadne Thought about a bit more. Despite all that i wanted to try and work it out. But she didnt and hasnt cared. Now too much time has passed and im feeling better about the whole thing and as i feel better the more its degenerating between us. Had a huge fight today. After i i gave up, i initiated NC and broke it after 3 weeks. Looked liked we could be friends but she pulled away. Initiated NC again and after a week she came by today.
curly Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 That is the one thing I hold on to. I am also going through a break-up and in pain. I'm 5 weeks into it, broke NC 1 week ago, and spoke to him very briefly yesterday. Anyway, I know that if I open myself (after some grieving time) to someone else, I can feel love & passion again. But, the thing is, I never felt like that with anyone before. And, trust me, I've been around the block. I've been divorced, had many relationships, I know how rare love is, real love. But he was cruel and kept me hanging on with empty promises. Anyway, thanks for the post. Somehow it helps to know others are going through your same pain.
curly Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 I just recently read somewhere that you must realize that to feel pain so deeply means you're alive and able to love just as deeply. Just some hope for the future. Hopefully, someone worthy will come along. And if not worthy, I hope I, and all the rest of us, can recognize it very quickly and run away. Be patient for the "good" one. I believe in people and I know there's someone (or lots of someone's) hoping that I will come into his life. Strength to you all.
Ariadne Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 Hmm.. Someone BETTER WILL come along. Yeah, here's hoping with all of us Ariadne
Author tlm76 Posted March 6, 2006 Author Posted March 6, 2006 Think back. You have all felt like this before and each time you find a new person, you think how much better this is than the last time. Ive never gone for someone new that was worse than the last because my selection process is better because of previous experience. If it was meant to be then we would still be with them. because people that love each other stick together and dont cheat or give up. they stay together through everything and therefore never come on here lmao.
Ariadne Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 they stay together through everything and therefore never come on here lmao. LOL Ariadne
Author tlm76 Posted March 6, 2006 Author Posted March 6, 2006 Ariadne you seem to know exactly what im saying. And Curly, surely you must have felt like crap after your divorce and im sure you felt exactly like you do now and because of what you went through were able to find someone and something better. And because of this you will be able to do the same again. and to everyone hoping to get a second chance and getting an ex back. Its like watching a movie that had a s***ty ending and you hate it. And now u wanna watch that movie again knowing how s*** the ending is only to realise two years later that yu still hate it.
Ariadne Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 Hi, Ariadne you seem to know exactly what im saying. Kind of. And now u wanna watch that movie again knowing how s*** the ending is only to realise two years later that yu still hate it. Oh no, I don't want to watch that movie again. Ariadne
contradikt Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 <quote> If it was meant to be then we would still be with them. because people that love each other stick together and dont cheat or give up</quote> it's not true. that's what makes love so cool.
Author tlm76 Posted March 9, 2006 Author Posted March 9, 2006 it is not true to you because until YOU meet the next one YOU will always be thinking about the last one. Ok i get that you think she was the one but obviously she doesnt think you are the one. Otherwise if you both felt like this then you would not be in your current predicament.
hurtbeyondwords Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 If it was meant to be then we would still be with them. because people that love each other stick together and dont cheat or give up. they stay together through everything and therefore never come on here lmao. that is very true but hurts like hell to accept.
contradikt Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 <quote> it is not true to you because until YOU meet the next one YOU will always be thinking about the last one. Ok i get that you think she was the one but obviously she doesnt think you are the one. Otherwise if you both felt like this then you would not be in your current predicament.</quote> what predicament? i don't get what you are talking about. what has this got to do with me? all i'm saying is that you can't generalise like that, with regards to 'if it was meant to be blah blah blah'. what is meant to be? it just seems like cliche crap. people who love each other do all sorts of messed up things to each other.
Author tlm76 Posted March 10, 2006 Author Posted March 10, 2006 people who love each other do all sorts of messed up things to each other. very true. and sometimes despite this they stay together. but when one of the people walks away its because they dont see the other as being "the one". if they did they would put up with all manner of s***e. No one ever leaves their "the one"
contradikt Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 we can agree to disagree, or we can keep on going arguing about different things <quote>and sometimes despite this they stay together. but when one of the people walks away its because they dont see the other as being "the one". if they did they would put up with all manner of s***e. </quote> - i think you are generalizing - what the hell is 'the one' anyway? - why would or should you put up with all manner of s***e from someone who should be....... the one? - people walk away for all sorts of reasons. sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. sometimes it may be the hardest thing you have ever had to do, but you are convinced that it is the right thing to do, for both people involved. i don't think 'the one' can have that much effect on this. sometimes walking away can be the biggest act of love there is.
lindya Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 when one of the people walks away its because they dont see the other as being "the one". if they did they would put up with all manner of s***e. No one ever leaves their "the one" My understanding of "the one" is that he/she considers your happiness to be as important as their own, and would not therefore be into putting you through gruelling, emotionally painful tests simply in order to prove yourself. Staying with someone through unavoidably tough times is love. Staying with someone who thinks your love permits them to behave as badly as they like is more like foolishness, desperation or both.
Author tlm76 Posted March 10, 2006 Author Posted March 10, 2006 yeah we might have to agree to disagree. I guess it depends on what our belief or idea of love is. My notion is that one day i will find someone that i will spend the rest of my life with. There will be ups and downs, love and hate, anger and sympathy, happiness and sadness, joy and pain but, despite all this, despite all the bulls***, i will work on it, i wont give up. i will look past all the trivial crap and see an individual human being that, at the end of the day, i want to share my life and grow old with. that for me is "the one". at this stage i havent met this person. I think ive been close but she is not here now which tells me that she is not willing to give to the relationship what i am. I will not walk away because something is too hard, or not working right at this moment in time. Nothing in life is too hard. Not if u want it bad enough. arghh i think im just rambling. I know what i mean lol.
Author tlm76 Posted March 10, 2006 Author Posted March 10, 2006 ill put it this way. I was with a girl who i thought was "the one". I could have happily spent the rest of my days with this person. But when i started my business up and couldnt spend much time with her, she was unhappy. But she hid her unhappiness even though i could sense it. She never communicated with me about it. It was only going to be a period of 2 months that i would be extremely busy and then we would be set for our future. She couldnt wait that long and turned to someone else to fill the void. I know now that my "the one" wouldnt do this to us. The one would have gone through this with me and come out smiling on the other side.
Ariadne Posted March 10, 2006 Posted March 10, 2006 Aww... I know now that my "the one" wouldnt do this to us. The one would have gone through this with me and come out smiling on the other side. I agree with you tlm Here is a poem that says just that: SONNET 116 Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove: O no! it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wandering bark, Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks Within his bending sickle's compass come: Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved. ~W. Shakespeare Ariadne
Recommended Posts