BlossomingMama Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 I have a beautiful and brilliant little girl. She is a sexual, physical, mental and emotional abuse survivor (her biological father was her abuser). Her behaviors have settled down as she went through counceling. We have only sporadic issues at home (not much beyond what you would expect of a normal 9 year old.). Her behavior at the sitters is as good as it is at home. The one area she has continued to have problems with is school. We believe she has mild Reactive Attachment Disorder. She has many of the symptoms. Apparently one of her therapists has avoided this diagnosis because she felt it would not fair well for our (I have remarried and she has a very healthy loving relationship with my husband) at school. The child is already labeled as a troubled child. She has often been in trouble for things her brother was only mildly repremanded for at school. I have battled with the school district since she began school. She is going through a phase of not wanting to do homework, refusing to do classwork, and just being very defiant where her teacher is concerned. We have tried all sorts of consequences and nothing seems to phase her. Now, let me tell you that this same child has raised hundreds of dollars for Katrina relief, has donated her bum length hair after seeing a news story. She is compassionate and very loving. I am very torn. Just wondering if anyone here has any advise or thoughts. Thank you for listening.
Outcast Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 Take her to a psychologist who won't 'avoid' a diagnosis. If she does have a disorder, she needs treatment - the sooner the better. Ignoring it won't make it go away. OTOH, she could just be very bright and bored but she needs someone who won't play the ridiculous 'let's not label her' game. Call it what you want, finding out whether there's something wrong and if so, fixing it, is crucial to her growing up to have a good life. No good comes of pretending people who are in trouble aren't in trouble.
Author BlossomingMama Posted March 5, 2006 Author Posted March 5, 2006 She has responded to therapy very well in all areas of her life except academic. She is in the GATE program (gifted) but unfortunately this means very little. They haven't done anything with her so far at all. We do have an appointment.
clandestinidad Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 Have you considered testing her aptitude to see if she should be in a different grade level? Maybe since she is so advanced and bored, she could be bumped up....or maybe home-schooling or a tutor.....just a thought.
AmItheOne Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 I am going through a similar thing with my 7 year old daughter. Her father died in a car accident 2 years ago last week and since then has dealt with many emotional problems. She is thriving now, in everything BUT school. Her teacher will make a big deal about her disruptive behavior but as soon as I asked the school system to have her go through a battery of tests they offer, she said her behavior did not seem that extreme. I insisted anyway, and they are doing an aptitude test as they believe she is doing poorly because she is bored (her teacher disagrees but the counselor seems to think this is the problem). One week she will ace everything, the next week she fails it all. She talks all the time, complains A LOT (something always hurts or someone always hurts her) and I understand her teachers frustration but she seemed completely put off by any of my suggestions. I have another meeting with the counselors on the 23rd of this month to receive the results of the testing...her counselor thinks her IQ is "way up there" her words. Guess we will see...I just want to see my baby happy and well adjusted again. I am tired of her teacher calling me and basically berating me for being a single working mother. Thank god they have this testing available because privately it could cost thousands of dollars.
Author BlossomingMama Posted March 6, 2006 Author Posted March 6, 2006 Thank you all for replying. We have looked into bumping her up a grade, but since she won't do he work the teachers won't even consider it. Never mind that she is obviously bored. We have struggled with getting teachers to take counselors advise. I so agree with you AMITHEONE...All I want in the world is to see her succeed.
tinktronik Posted March 7, 2006 Posted March 7, 2006 Ah , this is farmilliar. My son who's 5 ( too young to properly diagnose) has an "informal" diagnosis of reactive attachment disorder , due to me and my ex-spouses divorce and that Dad moved him around quite a bit after the divorce with people he dident know. My son is absolutely the most sensative and compassionate of my three boys, but struggles the hardest as well. You have to be steady for your child. Take her in to see a therapist that won't hold anything back.The school will be more "understanding" if she has a diagnosis. My son does counciling with me and has done well with it. , he's improved some. Good luck .
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