lostsoul82 Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 Recently my fiance of 1 year has said she wants a break. She is almost 20 and I'm 24. We've been together about 2 years. She said things have changed and she doesn't know why. She said she still loves me but needs time for herself to sort out her thoughts and feelings. We had been planning our whole life together. She was so excited about living together, getting married, and starting a family and now all of a sudden she says that she doesn't know if she's ready for all of that. I'm the only one she's loved and the only one she's been in a serious relationship with. The same is for me. She recently got a new job and I've noticed she slowly started pulling away from me. She said that she's just finally realizing what it's like to be independent and on her own and that she may have missed out on all of that. She says she's confused and needs time. I'm scared to death of losing her. She said that she thinks that she will realize how much I mean to her and come back but she didn't want to promise me that. She said she doesn't want to go out with other guys but she wouldn't rule it out and she wanted me to do the same. She says that if it's "true love" and we're meant to be together then it will work out. I have no choice but to give her her space. What else should/could I do? Is she being completely honest with me? How long will this last? How long should I wait? What are the chances she will come back? Help me please!
JosiePosie Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 She's a young lady who is just starting to spread her wings. If what you have for her is "true love" than support her in this. Give her the time and space necessary to explore what is out in the world. If you try to hold her back emotionally, it may worsen the situation. She will become more determined to be on her own if you do. The reason she was so excited to get married and settle down is because women have those type of dreams. Since they were little girls and playing Barbies. Find their Prince Charming, get married, and live happily ever after. She sees that she can have it with you, but is also seeing the great big world out there. Like a child in a candy store, so much to see and experience. You seem to be a cool guy who cares for his gf very much. Let her explore the world. Be the adult and let her go. She needs to learn to be independent and self-sufficient. Do you really want a wife who is totally dependent and clingy with you? I hope not. That's asking for trouble right there. Tell her that you understand her need to explore options and independence. And have her understand that running back and forth on commitment and no-commitment is something you will not tolerate. Life is too short to be played around emotionally. Be proactive rather reactive in this situation with her. She may be waffle back and forth on you while going through that phase. When she is ready to commit to a relationship with you, than that door will be re-opened for her.
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