MadDog Posted March 4, 2006 Posted March 4, 2006 I'm a pretty busy guy and being in a serious relationship right now isn't the best thing. As a result I've pretty much conceded dating for a while. At the same time I'm thinking it'd be really nice to date a girl casually. This would mean there'd be no commitments (e.g. we could date others) and we'd hang out whenever both of us had the time (as opposed to a serious relationship where it's assumed that you spend what free time you have together.) But then I realized that I've yet to meet a girl that was into casual dating. It seems like a vast majority of girls would consider any guy they date to be the potential next serious boyfriend/relationship and there has to be progress towards a relationship or she would lose interest in him. So my question is: "How many girls out there would consider dating a guy casually?" This would mean going out on dates and spending time together on a casual basis (mostly when both people had free time) and both people would be free to date others. The reason why I ask is because I can't necessarily ask a girl out and ask her, "Hey, would you be open to dating casually?" If there are enough girls out there that would try it, maybe I'll try to find a girl I can casually date but if a vast majority wouldn't try it, I won't bother. Ladies, your opinions are wanted. MD
konfuzd Posted March 4, 2006 Posted March 4, 2006 Well, to me it sounds like you are trying to be a player, and hide it under the guise of "casual dating" to make you come out smelling like roses. In reality all you want is to have several fwb type relationships. If you really have such a busy life, where are you going to find the time to meet and date multiple women? There are plenty of girls out there who also lead busy lives. (Me for one, and I know others) who are totally open to being in a relationship where you don't spend every moment together, but it's still exclusive. If the time constraint is really your concern here, try finding a woman who is lower maintenance than the ones you've been dating. We are out there!
SoleMate Posted March 4, 2006 Posted March 4, 2006 I think casual dating is a GREAT idea and if I were at that stage of my life, I would definitely try it. It used to be the norm - back in the 50s - but now, as you say, one goes from first date to "trial marriage". I wish I had been smart and confident enough back in my early 20s to really play the field - NOT hurting people, including myself, not necessarily jumping into bed, just getting to know lots of men and really choosing the best one over time. However, I am afraid that our ideas are not so common. Maybe you could try a bit of education with the girls you talk to? Point out the benefits for both of you? And the dangers of "instant commitment"? Good luck!
ttmmpp Posted March 4, 2006 Posted March 4, 2006 I don't know if your into the online dating thing or not, but it's definatley a way to meet a lot of interesting people. You can put in your profile that your not interested in a serious relationship at this time,so you know the people that respond will already know this up front and probably be looking for the same thing. Just a thought.
cal gal Posted March 4, 2006 Posted March 4, 2006 Honey, I would go for about any kind of dating at the moment... :lmao:
Author MadDog Posted March 4, 2006 Author Posted March 4, 2006 Well, to me it sounds like you are trying to be a player, and hide it under the guise of "casual dating" to make you come out smelling like roses. In reality all you want is to have several fwb type relationships. If you really have such a busy life, where are you going to find the time to meet and date multiple women? There are plenty of girls out there who also lead busy lives. (Me for one, and I know others) who are totally open to being in a relationship where you don't spend every moment together, but it's still exclusive. If the time constraint is really your concern here, try finding a woman who is lower maintenance than the ones you've been dating. We are out there! It's not about being a player. If that's all I wanted, I could just hit up the bars/clubs and pick up girls for the one night stand thing. That takes little skill and gets pretty monotonous after a while (so I've heard.) What I'm talking about is going out on dates, enjoying good conversation, etc. although I wouldn't necessarily exclude the physical aspects either. The point is that there'd be no obligations to hang out, call, etc. if either side is busy. Even being in a relationship where "you don't spend every moment together" requires a fair amount of effort to keep in touch and hang out if it's considered exclusive. You're dead on though. I seem to somehow draw high maintenance girls that want to spend every last minute with together. At least that means I'm bearable. MD
Author MadDog Posted March 4, 2006 Author Posted March 4, 2006 I don't know if your into the online dating thing or not, but it's definatley a way to meet a lot of interesting people. You can put in your profile that your not interested in a serious relationship at this time,so you know the people that respond will already know this up front and probably be looking for the same thing. Just a thought. No I've never tried online dating. The whole idea seems like it'd be a little awkward to me. You know. Writing up a profile, e-mailing/calling some girl I've never met, finally meeting up and hoping to god the picture you saw of her wasn't from 10 years ago, etc. Do you have any experience and how did it work out? MD
Author MadDog Posted March 4, 2006 Author Posted March 4, 2006 Honey, I would go for about any kind of dating at the moment... :lmao: What's holding you back if you want to? MD
AmItheOne Posted March 4, 2006 Posted March 4, 2006 I for one, never thought I would like casual dating...but after my last serious relationship went down the crapper, that's exactly what I did. I dated tons of guys at the same time, always making them completely aware that I was dating others. I drew the line at sleeping with multiple guys though. What's funny, is that one of those "casual" dates 2 years ago, has turned into my 2 year relationship and I'm really happy. I was so busy just like you...working full time, going to college full time, and raising a child by myself, but now, I have finished college and have a good job and we kinda evolved into more...so you never know, hehe. But I did enjoy it, as I think many woman do.
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