fooled Posted March 4, 2006 Posted March 4, 2006 It's the 2 month mark. 8 weeks ago I learned for sure our relationship was over and made the break the next day. I don't know if that has anything to do with it, but I've been thinking about her a lot today. Not anything specific - it's like a nagging in the back of the brain. Like phantom memories really. I think I'm just feeling disappointment. I've become accustomed to being alone again. It's no longer strange to not call her on my way home from work. Or expect her call in the morning. But sometimes I miss it. Nobody calls me at home anymore - only on my cell. Except her recent drunk dialings. I can't believe she kept or remembered my phone number. Anyway, there's no real point to this, other than I'm no longer crippled, but not nearly even close to being halfway over her. This 2 months has seemed realllllly long.
CaliGuy Posted March 4, 2006 Posted March 4, 2006 Writing is cathartic, Fooled. I know exactly how you feel. Give me a call tonight if you want to rap. I have some stuff to talk about.
kitten chick Posted March 4, 2006 Posted March 4, 2006 She's dumb and probably smelly, don't think about her.
Author fooled Posted March 4, 2006 Author Posted March 4, 2006 I only wish she was dumb and smelly. She is cruel and sociopathic.
kitten chick Posted March 4, 2006 Posted March 4, 2006 I only wish she was dumb and smelly. She is cruel and sociopathic. Oh jeez. I'd rather her be dumb and smelly than cruel and sociopathic. So now why do you miss her? I'll be honest, after my breakup, ok, maybe after a few weeks after my breakup, I didn't miss him. Most of my recovery was not about him. It was about missing being with someone and it was about recovering from a damaging relationship. So what is it that you really miss, her, the cruel sociopath, or being in a relationship? Because if it's the latter, she is replaceable.
Author fooled Posted March 4, 2006 Author Posted March 4, 2006 I miss her specific wit. I miss going to events with her. But not hardcore, "I'm going to die" missing - and lordy I don't want her back. But she's just been around the ol' noggin a little more lately.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted March 4, 2006 Posted March 4, 2006 It's frustrating, isn't it?...to still have feelings for someone and to waste valuable brain and heart space on someone who mistreated you and turned out to be all wrong for you. Love is cruel. I'm missing "you know who" like mad. Missing the guy I loved....not the ass he turned into....because I spent more time with the good one. For me, it feels like the breakup was just yesterday. Maybe I'm just nuts. I know I'm feeling so let down, because people I love always hurt and abandon me, without exception. So I miss him specifically, and miss being with someone too. Going under the knife in two weeks and I'm pissed because I shouldn't have to handle it alone. But as life would have it, I'm always alone when facing the tough stuff. Fairweather people.
CaliGuy Posted March 4, 2006 Posted March 4, 2006 Jen, I feel the same way. But it will always be the people you love most that hurt you. You won't open yourself up to vulnerability to people you are not extremely close to. I'm feeling the way you are right now. But I can either cave in to my "achy breaky" heart or I can resolve myself to press on. What choice do I have? I can't allow myself to sulk, to feel sorry for myself or to think this is the best life has to offer, because it isn't. We just picked ****ty people for us. We're bad judge of characters. Instead of giving our personal power over to others, we should be reclaiming it ourselves. We should be concerned for now on that our needs are met and if not, eject that other person before it gets too deep. After all, isn't that what they were doing to us? We might not like what they have done to us, but I truly believe we should learn a lesson from them as well.
WeaknPowerless Posted March 4, 2006 Posted March 4, 2006 Hang tough man. Tonight I was feeling ugly and just plain useless. I came here and remembered theres a bunch of us with people stealing our thunder. It's been JUST over 3 months for me, losing the love of my life, at least the love of my delussional subconcious.... You, me, the rest, we're all in the same boat. These people f*cking suck...seriously. No point in sugar coating it. We're not perfect, but we GAVE. We GAVE our emotions and our hearts. There is NOTHING wrong with that. There is something wrong, however, with the way our SO's dealt with it. They have every right to walk away. But if they did it with some damn tact, class or integrity, then we wouldn't be on here. I could care less anymore if I don't find someone that looks like her or makes me feel the way I thought I felt. Screw everyone but family, because they are the only ones that will be there for you...It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm tired of being naive and optimistic. I (us) gave WAY too much to _________(insert you favourite derogatory term), who ripped away our hearts. Karma will pay me back, on both ends, but believe that bitch, ass, or whatever is getting what the deserve ten fold...
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted March 4, 2006 Posted March 4, 2006 Screw everyone but family, because they are the only ones that will be there for you... Oh how I wish that were true. If you have the love of family in your life, then you're very lucky. You can't pick your family, and sometimes they are bigger selfish a-holes and more fairweather than an ex-SO. Karma will pay me back, on both ends, but believe that bitch, ass, or whatever is getting what the deserve ten fold... I hope so. But I'm not sure that would make me feel any better.
Recommended Posts