Raven1845 Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 My ex, the commitment phobe, the player, the one who told me that the only reason he said all the sweet things he ever said to me was to get laid . . . that he never meant any of it. (I thought guys only did that to get laid, not to continue getting laid, so I hope he was just being hurtful. I'd hate to think I never meant anything to him). Anyway, this guy who haunts my mind day and night . . . a mutual friend had told me that I am the best thing that ever happened to him. That I was better than anyone he had dated before. That there was only really one person that could even come close to competing with me, but that I was still better. Why she had to bring that up, I don't know. I mean, if I'm better, why bring it up? Anyway, while we were dating he had two photos of a girl on his bedroom mirror. In the beginning, I asked who she was, he just said, "An ex, she's a model." I just said, "I modeled for 9 1/2 years, myself, for ****** *****." He had mentioned several times how he likes to make me jealous, so I never said anything else about the photos. He was only with her for a very short time. Well, my friend told me that he chases her. (I'm breaking down now). He didn't want me, someone more beautiful, classy, funny, witting, caring, loving, etc. If you know the background on my ex, you can imagine the pain it is causing me to know that he chases someone. The thing is, the reason he chases her is because he did the same thing to her that he did to me, but she dumped him. He's always said he wants something until he gets it, and then he doesn't want it anymore. Well, my friend said, "He chases her because she doesn't want anything to do with him. She doesn't sleep with him after the fact of seeing him if she sees him. She sometimes won't even look his way. She won't call him or text message him. You did the opposite. I'm sorry, I don't want to sound mean, but I told you, he wants what he can't have." I believe in a little challenge, and I think I am one. Silly me . . . I slept with him. I loved him. I treated him great. Why the f**k would he want me? He wants her. The one that won't give him the time of day. Not me. He regrets her. Why her? Why her and not me? Oh God, I'm so hurt. Had I known all I had to do was ignore him to make him want me . . . aren't you suppose to sleep with someone you love? Aren't you suppose to treat them good? Why her? Why not me? Oh God, I just can't take these feelings anymore. I have never felt so lost and so out of control of my own mind. I think about him ALL day, and I can't sleep at night because he's in my mind. I just want it to stop. God, please just make it stop . . . He regrets the girl that doesn't want him, and therefore will never have time to regret the one that loved him. If he had her back, would he treat her like crap again? I hate her. I hate her and I don't even know her, and I know that's wrong. It's not her fault. It just really hurts. (I don't hate her, I'm just envious that she is getting the attention I want. I'm just hurt. It's not her fault. It's his for being a jerk, and it's mine for not being able to let go).
Simons Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 Why not let him once more..pretend you want him to lay you and in the process when he thinks he is going to have you, stop him and see how he is going to react!. People want what they cannot have!, may be you have been too easy to get, thats why. You let him get a way with so much at the expence of your happiness.
CaliGuy Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 I was in the same position. My ex loves the thrill of the chase. I didn't make it hard on her, either. I was open to her affection and in the end, it turned her off. She ended up chasing other men because she wanted that thrill. In every case they have ended up dumping her or treating her like crap. I guess in a way she feels that is the way she should be treated. In your case, stick to NC. What he said to you was cruel and unkind. Had my ex said that to me, it would have released me - easily - to move on simply because a jerk like that doesn't deserve any of my time. My ex was worse in a way. She played me like a violin. Told me whatever I wanted to hear to get what she wanted. Told me "I don't know what I want...blah blah blah." She manipulated me through dishonesty. You know you deserve better than this guy. In your heart you know it to be true. Don't give him any of your time. He damn sure doesn't deserve it.
destination_unknown Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 I know it doesnt make the hurting stop but feel sorry for him, he is so immature he will never actually be content or know what it feels like to be in love if he is always chasing what he cant have. You on the other hand know you are capable of being in love. If you have such love to give you deserve to recieve it too. Dont waste it on someone who doesnt deserve it.
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