basscatcher Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 I haven't done much research on dreams because when I did do a search I got so many different views on it I didn't know were to start. I know there are dream classes one can take to interpret symbols and meanings of them; even in the Catholic religion there are educational classes on them. I had a dream last night that was very vivid and real. Normally, I DO NOT have dreams as clear as this one was. I will tell you it and maybe I can get some insight on it from others perceptions or knowledge. "Shucks, the boss needs my help right now. I'll come back and post my dream in awhile. ' BRB.. Feel free to leave your thoughts about dreams until I get back. Thanks.
JadeStar Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 I'm a firm believer that dreams have alot to do with what goes on in our waking lives. I have many journals on the matter over the past few years. Some people will say they are meaningless, and thats fine, but IMO they have alot to do with what goes on in the waking world. Jade
agnf666 Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 My dreams are really wierd... sometimes they tell predict what I'm going to do next... Other times they are just the bad things that I seem to make up in my mind...
climbergirl Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 I don't believe the Freudian theory that everyones dreams can be broken down to generalized symbolism. (ie--snake=phallic symbol). However, I recently read about a theory in which colors in our dreams are indicative (especially if the color plays a prominent role in our dreams) of our emotional state during the dream---this I found interesting--I read this right after I had a very sexual dream where red played a huge role in my dream (red lights/red curtains etc.). I think dreams are our subconscious working out whatever our conscious minds aren't during waking hours. Kind of a self-induced therapy. I'll have to get blueskyeyes in on this...........he's studying it right now.
Author basscatcher Posted March 3, 2006 Author Posted March 3, 2006 Alright, the dream I had last night went like this. I will be as vivid in detail as I can be so you can get as best a image as possible. **Charlie, my son and another kid (I think a friend of my son or Charlies 15 yr old boy), and myself walked into a little bar that Charlies Xgf hangs out in. It was kinda grey from smoke and had a small town pub feel with lite up neon beer signs and a fairly good crowd of local regulars sitting around the bar and at tables. We chose to sit in a booth near the door on the right side as you walk in. (I never have been in this place in real life so I don't know what it is really like.) We sat down and Charlie was obviously nervous. I knew he was going to face this woman because she had been calling him (this is real) repeatedly and he hadn't responded to or answered her calls (this is real) and he wanted to put a stop to it. As we sat she walked in and he turned his back to her hoping she wouldn't recognize him. He wasn't ready to deal with her yet. She wouldn't recognize me because she has never seen me before.. She walked by and didn't see him and went about her business as a social butterfly in the pub with the men. While we were sitting at the table he ordered a tall Miller Lite (his drink of choice) he did not slam it down, he drank it like he normally would. We didnt say much to each other because he was nervous and deep in thought about his confrontation with her. I didn't say anything to him because I didn't want to upset him with something I said--he already had enough on his mind. In the background she was mingling with everyone (men) in the rear area of the pub. He finished his beer and said nervously, "lets get this over with." He got up, hesitated, looked at the ring I gave him on his finger from Valentines Day, kissed it and said "ok". He took a deep breath and walked back to where she was. I didn't see him with her. There was a wall behind me in the booth and the buzz of a pub with all the people talking was like a normal bar scene. While we sat in the booth I remember thinking and feeling curious but calm. I knew he loved me and he just needed to tell her that he is done with her and for her to stop calling him. I figured his nervousness was in regard to whether or not she was going to cause a scene or freak out on him. While I sat waiting for him to come back I was listening to the buzz of people waiting to hear her make a scene but I heard nothing unnormal. The kids were nervous for me and were worried about the results of this situation. They were concerned for how I was feeling sitting there in that booth while he was back talking with her. There was no scene made, I didn't hear anywords coming across the bar from their conversation. He came back with a look of relief on his face, a light hearted smile and said "Lets, go." He had a bounce in his step and seems so relieved. We left and I felt relief as well.** ----- Now I'm sure I will find more details as I think about this dream but I can't get over how calm and confident I felt. Charlie was so nervous and concerned about his confrontation with her and when he came back he was at ease and looked so relieved. The kids were expressing concern for my emotional state and what was going to transpire between Charlie and his Xgf. What was with the neon beer signs, the smokey bar, the normal buzz of the pub. Why did I just sit in the booth and not move? Why didn't I look around the wall and see with my own eyes what their facial expressions were to one another, if they hugged, what the body language was between them? Why didn't he and I talk while we sat in the booth? Why didn't the kids say anything? Why were the kids in the dream and in the bar when they are under age?
serial muse Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 I'll have a go. Sounds to me like your subconscious was exploring how things could go down if you sat back and trusted him to do what he needs to do. You were on her turf (the bar), you came as far as you could with him, and then you let him have the space to do it in his own way. The kids are your comfort zone - kept you calm while you waited. I dunno, I don't know that I believe your dreams are sending a "message" exactly, but more exploring scenarios. This one played out well, so perhaps deep down you believe it can and will work out, if you give him the space to do it. But I think it's interesting that you went as far as the bar. Perhaps, if he were willing to bend as far as letting you decide whether you want to meet her, that would increase your sense of comfort and confidence in the situation? In general, it sounds like you were finding ways to make you feel comfortable with this confrontation - having family and friends around you, knowing that he gave you the option of being involved if you insisted, knowing that he let you meet her if you really wanted, seeing her in her environment so she's not a faceless crazy demon but just a normal, nonthreatening woman. The pub was also a "normal" pub, not a den of iniquity, which was probably reassuring.
Author basscatcher Posted March 3, 2006 Author Posted March 3, 2006 Thanks S-M Sounds to me like your subconscious was exploring how things could go down if you sat back and trusted him to do what he needs to do. I know I would like for this to happen calmly and he WILL let go of her totally. I am chosing to trust him but it is hard because I can't make him think, feel or chose to do what I want him to do. You were on her turf (the bar), you came as far as you could with him, and then you let him have the space to do it in his own way. Why was it in a bar anyways and why was I there. Was that for my own comfort and control. I don't see that as giving him his space to do what he needed to do. The kids are your comfort zone - kept you calm while you waited. I was thinking this also. I think the other kid was Charlies 15 yr old. I adore his children and his 15 yr old is much like his father. This one played out well, so perhaps deep down you believe it can and will work out, if you give him the space to do it. I do believe it can work as long as it is ME he really wants to be with and he is just letting go of the familiar. He has made little statements that I need to give him the space he needs to deal with all this. Yet, it is HIM who calls me 98% of the time and it is HIM who makes plans to get together. I only tell him what upsets me, what I want and my needs. But I think it's interesting that you went as far as the bar. I wonder this too? Why did I go to that bar with him? Is it out of control?Was it for my own peice of mind to witness his confronting her so I knew he did it? Was I there to support him and give him strength? Perhaps, if he were willing to bend as far as letting you decide whether you want to meet her, that would increase your sense of comfort and confidence in the situation? NO I don't think that is true. The way he describes who she is as a person. I would feel very under her and belittled. She would offend me in her way. She is too agressive in her manners for me. I would look at her as trashy. Loud mouthed, rude, pushy, snakey and I wouldn't trust her. She is the stereo type biker chic. Maybe his perception of her to me is incorrect but if he is telling the truth about her it wouldn't be a good meeting. In general, it sounds like you were finding ways to make you feel comfortable with this confrontation - having family and friends around you, knowing that he gave you the option of being involved if you insisted, knowing that he let you meet her if you really wanted, seeing her in her environment so she's not a faceless crazy demon but just a normal, nonthreatening woman. I do feel her as a threat in my relationship with Charlie, I don't really have much of a reason for it other then he didn't deal with his feelings and letting go of her before he meet me. I think the kids around us was a comfort for the two of us and me being there I don't know but I think that was a control thing for myself over him and her being a crazy demon--I think internally she is.. She is not in control of herself or her life. She is unbalanced and unhealthy. The pub was also a "normal" pub, not a den of iniquity, which was probably reassuring. The pub was like a small town pub; low ceilings, smokey, neon beer signs, booths, tables and a bar, maybe hold a capacity of 80 people total.. I sat near the door.. Like it was a quick exit or he was hiding me from her. Any more ideas of opinions..
serial muse Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 Huh. Well, I don't know then. But it does sound like your subconscious is much calmer about this than your conscious mind. Any reason why that might be? You would know best, of course, what your emotional response is to these things...but it struck me that the bar seems to represent "her" territory, a place where she goes all the time, and yet when you went there in your dream it wasn't anything special, and neither was she, in any way, good or bad. Just...normal. Not really a threat to you in any way. I'm not sure what you mean by "small town pub" - to me that conjures up fairly innocuous images, but maybe it means something else, possibly seedy or rundown, to you? At any rate, it didn't sound like you were sitting there to make a quick exit. From your description, you were just calmly waiting, and Charlie was more nervous than you were.
Author basscatcher Posted March 3, 2006 Author Posted March 3, 2006 But it does sound like your subconscious is much calmer about this than your conscious mind. Any reason why that might be? Charlie is constantly telling me to relax. He says I over analyze things. He has told me he doesn't want her back. He doesn't want the life he had with her. He says he is very happy with me 90% of the time. Hmmm?? So maybe what he is saying is sinking into my sub but not my cons
alphamale Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 He says I over analyze things. I would agree with the above....not because I know you personally but becasue of the content and length of your posts on LS.
blind_otter Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 I tend to have dreams about people/scenarios that I focus a lot of mental energy on. IMO this is you trying to work out the situation inside your head so you have less anxiety about it....
Author basscatcher Posted March 3, 2006 Author Posted March 3, 2006 I would agree with the above....not because I know you personally but becasue of the content and length of your posts on LS. Yes, I like to figure things out. The Scorpio in me I guess. Also the woman side.. I don't like leaving things uneasy, unlevel, up in the air, I have to solve my problem or I can't move on.. Your just a man. WELL A ALPHA MALE so you would be annoyed with women who are thinkers, talkers, problem solvers. You want then cute, independant and quiet...
serial muse Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 IMO this is you trying to work out the situation inside your head so you have less anxiety about it.... Yup...that's the gist of what I was trying to say, only more succinct. So, I concur.
blind_otter Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 I think most prophetic dreams people have either involve habitual situations they repeatedly experience, or they are the mind's resolution to something you think about a lot, which usually means you've analyzed it so much that you kind of already KNOW what's going to happen anyways.
Author basscatcher Posted March 3, 2006 Author Posted March 3, 2006 I think most prophetic dreams people have either involve habitual situations they repeatedly experience, or they are the mind's resolution to something you think about a lot, which usually means you've analyzed it so much that you kind of already KNOW what's going to happen anyways. I concur on this. I am still curious about meanings in dreams and symbolizations. (B_O your pic, I thought you had a brace on or something under your chin, and it was your hand..... LOL too funny.)
jerbear Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 I think most prophetic dreams people have either involve habitual situations they repeatedly experience, or they are the mind's resolution to something you think about a lot, which usually means you've analyzed it so much that you kind of already KNOW what's going to happen anyways. groovy, Very weird them dreams. I once had a dream of a calculus problem, woke up and actually solved it on paper without a computer. It was like question 11 of 12 for calculus III. If I saw a variation of that problem, I can solve it w/o a computer. Now the other 10 questions, well I lost a few points; except #11. Very weird them dreams.
blueskyeyes Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 The problem with people other than yourself interpreting dreams is that while a dream dictionary may say that X signifies a dominant female figure in your life, it really is VERY subjective to the individual. Dream dictionaries is a misnomer in that the don't define the significance of X in your dreams but give you a place to start thinking about it. It is much like people can take a medication and most people have no side effects and others do. The meaning of dreams must always be looked at in a personal context. As for dreams having meaning they always do though most of the time not earth shattering. They are important to pay attention to as they are a conversation between your conscious and unconscious. Often digging into them you can bring the unconscious into the conscious. I used to thing that dream interpretation was mumbo jumbo but I have changed my mind as I have gotten further into my psych degree. Freud's and more so Jung's theories on dreams have been arounf for almost 100 years and have had many researchers validate thier claims. Dreams that repeat or are very intense are the ones that you ned to talk to. It sounds corny but they are your unconscious trying to get the conscious's attention. As for your dream, without knowing you or being able to ask you questions I would say your dream merely shows that you have some anxiety about his ex? It sounds like maybe you feel that there are still loose ends with him and her? Give us more on what your feelings are towards her. Is he saying it's done but your gut is saying it isn't? Dream into action, -Johnny
Outcast Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 It's wish fulfulment. You dreamed of how you'd like it all to turn out, complete with Charlie being uncomfortable over the situation, which you are and, I think, wish he would be. Why didn't I look around the wall and see with my own eyes what their facial expressions were to one another, if they hugged, what the body language was between them? Well in your dream at least maybe you finally decided to trust this guy.
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