Tylerslovingfather Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 Well, it has been 4 months since she went back to her husband, and her life. Unfortunately, she still crosses my mind everyday, and am getting tired of it. I only wish I could hate her, but I cant. I know I never want her back, I guess its just the thought of being used as a pawn to make her husband straighten up that I don't want to believe. He was a crack addict, poor father, and even worse provider. When he thought he was going to lose all that she had to offer him, he put himself in rehab, and within weeks she was back in his arms. She told me all the typical lies that you hear. I knew what was happening and just stood back and let it develop. Why? Because I could see the truth even though it hurt. I guess my only real question for this forum is," Why is it that no matter what we say to other people, how we try to erase the past, or the actions we take to move on, does the memory haunt us? I don't want these thoughts anymore, or freeze frames of time that pop in your head in the middle of the night. Sometimes it seems as if it would be better to be alone, and not have to endure this all over again with someone else? Then again, the pain maybe worth it? Life's roller coaster style really is a pisser. Don't ya think?
Ariadne Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 Awww freeze frames of time I love that And I don't know why, Tylers, I don't know... Ariadne
zarathustra Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 " Why is it that no matter what we say to other people, how we try to erase the past, or the actions we take to move on, does the memory haunt us? I don't want these thoughts anymore, or freeze frames of time that pop in your head in the middle of the night. Sometimes it seems as if it would be better to be alone, and not have to endure this all over again with someone else? Then again, the pain maybe worth it? Life's roller coaster style really is a pisser. Don't ya think? Having been in almost the same situation you described in your post, I truly understand how you feel. For a long time, I felt like a walking void. regarding your question though, I think that no matter how bad it was at the end and regardless of being taken advantage of, there was a time when you truly and honestly loved that person. There was a time when this person brought unbelievable joy in your life. I think it was that love and that joy that leaves an imprint in our mind and in our hearts. I can only wish you the best and hope that one day you will find someone who you deem worthy of taking the risk and that she loves you so much that she will try her hardest to not hurt you. I agree... life's roller coaster style is really a pisser.
Dinnj1 Posted March 4, 2006 Posted March 4, 2006 Tylers... been there/done that. My 'friend' was kind enough to leave her husband... confide in me... tell me she loves me. Then go back to him. I had warned her it was bad idea. One year later... she's filing for divorce, started talking to me again, but has since pushed me away. Not sure why... said she's definately getting divorced this time, but needs space and no distractions. Still trying to read between the lines and figure out how I could be a distraction. No clue? Anyway... the memories or sometimes I call 'scars'... are there for a reason... and most likely the reason = lesson. They're there to remind you. Don't focus on the good memories... focus on the bad. I choose to now refer to myself as 'her' doormat, ego boost? a 'lesser' shoulder to cry on. Good enough to cry on but not good for a relationship.
zarathustra Posted March 4, 2006 Posted March 4, 2006 funny how we all share similar experiences eh? I told mine to stay with his family too, but he left them telling me that in the long run, its for the best. That his kids will forgive him one day to be with someone who truly loves him and respect him, something that he doesn't have at home... blah blah blah. Now he's back with his wife and kids because he can't be a part time dad. He confided in me too and went back to what I would consider an emotionally abusive relationship. Only now, he's saying he's the one who has the problem, etc. I wondered what was wrong with me? If I didn't treat him well. But I told him how he should communicate with his wife so that they don't have tension in front of their kids and stuff. How much more could I have done for him? I've asked myself this question a million times. The answer was always the same... nothing, but to let him go. Oh, I'm also in a stick predicament... I work with mine and I see the pictures that he's put up of his "happy" family. Insensitive prick. I hope we all feel better soon.
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