Guest Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 I have been married for 7 years and have 2 children with my Husband. I found out about a month ago he has very close with a female friend. I did not even know about her, so it was a "secret friendship". This friendship has consisted of secret phone calls, emails, and visits to her work at the mall. He swears that all it was, someone to talk to, it was never physical and he did not love her. I didnt and dont know what it really was. I treated this betrayal as a full blown affair, as he could not prove me otherwise. I went through intese feelings of anger, depression, disbelief, and more anger. I have pretty much beaten this whole situation to death by taking about it, asking questions, which I know annoys his tremendesly. It has helped me move through my emotions. I have now come to this place where I am comfortable living with him. I use to check his emails, phones, you name it. Now, its like I dont care. Do I want thim to do this to me again...NO Way! But, I feel if he does, oh well, then its over and life goes on. Am I stipid for letting my guard down and just trusting what he says? What woman, after only 1 month, would feel no more pain?
Chump64 Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 What woman, after only 1 month, would feel no more pain? A woman who is in denial. Sometimes when people decide not to snoop through things to find out whether an affair is continuing, IMO, they are saying "I don't want to know if this scary thing is still happening, so I just won't look. What I don't know can't hurt me / won't force me to take action." If you aren't in denial, then don't worry -- they pain and fear will come back. If you aren't in denial, and you are trying to work through this, then you are just getting started on a roller coaster ride of recovery. Unless you are a rare exception to the rule, you will have ups and downs for a long time to come. The average recovery from an affair is at least two years. But if you stay in denial and think you can trust him 100 percent, you are playing with fire. Either that, or you truly aren't interested in saving your marriage. Good luck.
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