too unreal Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 My question might be a little "icky" but I just gotta know...... I have heard many things, and I guess I am intrigued by the color...... of....you know....seminal fluids..... :o I heard that sometimes you can tell how much a guy has had sex just by the color....like really white and thick, clear and runny...well you get the picture... :o ...i have thoroughly embarrassed myself...but burning curiosity compells me....
Author too unreal Posted March 3, 2006 Author Posted March 3, 2006 I am gathering that no one has a clue then about this sort of thing.... specifically, what i am getting at is this: if a guy doesnt have sex in a long time and then has sex, is his ejaculation prone to be more bright white, and thicker?? I think i heard somewhere that the more you have sex, the more runny and clear looking it is......
blind_otter Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 I think that it's just a function of how hydrated the guy is. If it's too thick and white, he needs to drink more water. The frequencey IME has nothing to do with the seminal fluid (except in quantity), from the sample of men that I've f***ed.
Sassy Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 Amazing that you can tell how much sex by the color of the semen.
Author too unreal Posted March 3, 2006 Author Posted March 3, 2006 Thanks b_o!! What I am really trying to get at is that BF is and has been sexually distant with me for some time now, and I have been trying to figure out what he is doing...like maybe someone on the side..... we had sex, his fluid was bright white, and really really thick....i have never seen it like that before, and i would say as far as the amount goes, it would be a little more than a teaspoon and a half...maybe two.... I guess i cant figure out what the hell is going on and i am starting to get these weird feelings that i dont like.... during these "sexual sabbaticals" as i like to refer to them, he is now attentive and loving , seemingly more involved emotionally with me....but the lack of sexual connection is KILLING me.... and when we do have sex, i am finding more and more that i dont want to b/c it seems contrived and like "we better do it, or she'll think i dont want it" sort of like a pity f*** if you know what i mean.... when i say "i am too tired" (because i get frustrated that we only have it when he is in the mood which is rare lately) he says, "well, dont complain tomorrow when i am too tired" or, "you know we cant do it tomorrow because such and such will be here".......almost like he is trying to get it out of the way...... the seminal fluid was really weird to me...never seen it like that before....or am i just jumping to conclusions...????
JadeStar Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 I'm not sure on this, but semen fluid may vary at different times according to what they eat or drink, or medical reasons etc. It may not mean anything inparticular. Jade
blind_otter Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 I would be concerned as well. Is he less emotionally attentive when you DO have regular sex?
Becoming Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 It varies according to all kinds of strange and mysterious things--water, food, frequency (which can include nocturnal emissions over which he has no control). Why are you looking for proof here--to save yourself from looking for more definitive proof of your suspicions? I'd be trusting the proof of my gut that something's off and start snooping a bit.
Author too unreal Posted March 3, 2006 Author Posted March 3, 2006 b_o, its funny you said this: Is he less emotionally attentive when you DO have regular sex? Because I was just thinking about a pattern that is starting to emerge here.... He has never been that emotionally attentive in the first place, a fact he himself has recognized, after we fought bitterly about his lack of affection....he says "I know i am not a very affectionate person, dont you think i know this" since then, he has improved and been more loving and attentive.... However, his lovingness (if thats a word) and attentiveness seems to dissapate after we have sex until i get fed up and remind him again that he isnt being emotionally attentive....and thus the cycle starts again...
JadeStar Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 "Since then he has improved, and been more loving and attentive." That could simply mean he was trying a little harder to please you emotionally by upping the love and attentiveness becasue he knows how you feel on the matter. Especailly since you already know he wasn't a loving/attentive person to begin with. Change can be hard for someone who wasn't always that way to begin with. Then again it could mean something totally different. Have a heart to heart with him and see if you can get to the root of what may or may not be going on. Jade
Author too unreal Posted March 3, 2006 Author Posted March 3, 2006 thanks jadestar That could simply mean he was trying a little harder to please you emotionally by upping the love and attentiveness becasue he knows how you feel on the matter. Which I am definately sure that is what he is doing it for, for my benefit.... However, I am starting to get nervous here..... This sex thing, (lack thereof) is the newest of the many things that has turned into a "cycle" and that is what is truly scaring me.... fine, the emotional distance, the lack of communication and all the other "cycles" that we have been through is fine,,,, but now it is happening with sex and i feel so STUPID.... I dont want to have to start arguing about lack of sex with him, and have him relent and then he is fine for a day or two and then it is back to the same old..... I WANT HIM TO WANT ME BECAUSE HE REALLY WANTS ME, DAMMIT...... NOT BECAUSE WE HAD TO DO A LITTLE TALK ABOUT IT...that he changes because he is "trying a little harder to please me"... WHAT THE f*** IS WRONG WITH HIM??!!!! I mean, havent i changed enough for him or what??!!!! sorry.....im a little frustrated....
Becoming Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 "Since then he has improved, and been more loving and attentive." That could simply mean he was trying a little harder to please you emotionally by upping the love and attentiveness becasue he knows how you feel on the matter. Especailly since you already know he wasn't a loving/attentive person to begin with. Change can be hard for someone who wasn't always that way to begin with. Then again it could mean something totally different. Have a heart to heart with him and see if you can get to the root of what may or may not be going on. Jade Yeah. Anytime a person starts to change, they slide back into old habits as default mode. At the first sign of withdrawal you need to tell him gently so he can be aware of it and PRAISE him when he is emotionally attentive. Praise can also take the form of responding positively sexually. If he thinks the emotional attention results in less sexual pay-off, why would he change?
Author too unreal Posted March 3, 2006 Author Posted March 3, 2006 thanks becoming.... If he thinks the emotional attention results in less sexual pay-off, why would he change? However, it is not me that is ignoring him sexually....it is HIM that is ignoring ME sexually......
cal gal Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 I doubt the fluid has anything to do with withholding from YOU.... What about the men that help themselves everyday? You don't have proof that he's not doing that when he's not with you.... Just a thought....
Author too unreal Posted March 3, 2006 Author Posted March 3, 2006 thanks cal gal What about the men that help themselves everyday? You don't have proof that he's not doing that when he's not with you.... Not really sure in what context you mean....like he is jerking off or he has been with someone else.... that was the whole point of my post....could the color and consistency mean that he has been sexually active recently??? because if so, it DEFINATELY hasnt been with me...........
JadeStar Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 thanks becoming.... However, it is not me that is ignoring him sexually....it is HIM that is ignoring ME sexually...... Sometimes, people who become distant emotionally, will become distant sexually as well. And sometimes people who become distant sexually first, will eventually become distant emotionally. No matter which it is first they usually play a role in the fact something is wrong in the relationship as a whole. I'm not saying its you by no means, sounds like you're doing your part, so its possible its him. He may know why then again he might not have a clue either. Alot of times people will assume that becasue they see a difference or change in someone be it sexually or emotionally that they are cheating, and while that may be the case sometimes, its not the case all the time. Jade
Sassy Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 Sometimes, people who become distant emotionally, will become distant sexually as well. And sometimes people who become distant sexually first, will eventually become distant emotionally. No matter which it is first they usually play a role in the fact something is wrong in the relationship as a whole. I'm not saying its you by no means, sounds like you're doing your part, so its possible its him. He may know why then again he might not have a clue either. Alot of times people will assume that becasue they see a difference or change in someone be it sexually or emotionally that they are cheating, and while that may be the case sometimes, its not the case all the time. Jade Totally agree with what Jade said .
Author too unreal Posted March 3, 2006 Author Posted March 3, 2006 in any event, i am scared to even talk to him now about it because i dont want this too to turn into another "cycle".... I just cant believe how, in the course of a month or two our sex life changed so dramatically.... I mean, of course, at first it was all the time, then it was 3 times a week, now it is unlikely it would be once a weekday..most likely it is on the weekend, and it is once. I did have a brief talk once, a couple of weeks ago about it..and he said "nothing is wrong, i am just working so hard and i am tired when i come home" fine...makes sense...except this was his schedule last year about the same time and it didnt affect our sex life in the least......
cal gal Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 Don't you just hate the word ICKY? and the way it sounds! Maybe it's just me - notice it is a four letter word though!
Author too unreal Posted March 3, 2006 Author Posted March 3, 2006 yes, i hate the word icky but it describes how i feel when i cant figure out a better word....
SincereOnlineGuy Posted March 19, 2006 Posted March 19, 2006 I am gathering that no one has a clue then about this sort of thing.... specifically, what i am getting at is this: if a guy doesnt have sex in a long time and then has sex, is his ejaculation prone to be more bright white, and thicker?? I think i heard somewhere that the more you have sex, the more runny and clear looking it is...... I just cant believe how, in the course of a month or two our sex life changed so dramatically.... I mean, of course, at first it was all the time, then it was 3 times a week, now it is unlikely it would be once a weekday..most likely it is on the weekend, and it is once. I did have a brief talk once, a couple of weeks ago about it..and he said "nothing is wrong, i am just working so hard and i am tired when i come home" fine...makes sense...except this was his schedule last year about the same time and it didnt affect our sex life in the least...... I know I'm a couple of weeks late on this but I want to state that my sense of what you describe in his ejaculate is that it IS consistent with someone who is (ejaculating - by any means) less and less now. That is good news for someone who could be on the verge of imagining her guy to be cheating. The truth is, that if men refrained from any sort of ejaculation for a considerably long time, that teenage "wet dreams" would usually return. The thickness you describe is the key to what I'm reading. I can't tell by the measured amounts (or your guesstimates there of, but in general, a man who is ejaculating very frequently would tend to emit small amounts of very liquidy substance. Time off tends to produce thicker "emissions". Nowthen, as to the frequency you describe, you are not that far from "normal" for couples that have been together for some time. All I can do is to suggest that his biological self is consistent with your perception of his relative sexual inactivity. Maybe you've been going at it like rabbits for so long that the, um, liquid measurements put forth by your guy have been consistently small and now you're only seeing him get back to what is more 'normal' for the rest of society.
BlahBlahQueen Posted March 19, 2006 Posted March 19, 2006 that was the whole point of my post....could the color and consistency mean that he has been sexually active recently??? because if so, it DEFINATELY hasnt been with me........... If anything, it's the opposite. I've noticed when they have had too much sex their semen tends to get runnier, thinner, clearer, and less abundant. Probably because they're "spent"; I guess your body can only produce so much goo in a certain period of time. When they haven't had sex in a long time, they tend to shoot a big thick load. There's more pent-up "matter" in there. Mind you, I don't know if any of this is scientific, but it's my experience.
Tim'sAngel Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 I don't know how any of you could possibly know anything about the thickness of seman or the lack thereof being a way of telling how frequently they are expelling it. It sounds to me like his lack of sex could be related to something other than sex. I read the part about you arguing and telling him he wasn't emotional enough or maybe it was affectionate... anywho... anytime a man feels like he isn't meeting your needs (be it sexual or emotional) it's going to affect his sex drive. A man's sex drive is like his esteem meter. When he feels good about himself it's great but when he doesn't he isn't interested in it. I guess women are kind of the same way, or at least I am. Something to think about anyways...
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