Dazed and .

[justaconfusedguy]

I am confused searching for the right answer looking for some advice. I have been married for about 6 years now and am thinking about ending it now. First I will give some background to my marriage. I dated my wife for 5 months before we got married. We got married so soon mainly because she got pregnant. I thought I loved her then and I believe she felt the same way. As you could imagine not knowing each other for very long before marriage had and has made things difficult at times. We have fought more times than I care to remember but we always seem to make up and move on. We have discussed divorce several times before but its never anything we have gotten too serious about. During the summer of 2003 my wife returned home from a two week deployment and told me she was unhappy with "us" and that she was thinking about a divorce or at least seperating for awhile. I begged her to change her mind and told her I was willing to change whatever it was I was doing wrong. We worked through that and moved on. During this last summer of 2005 she once again returned from a 2 week deployment and I could tell something was wrong again the way she treated me. We were living apart at that time because I had recently transferred to another city at the time for my job. She once again brought up the divorce issue and I agreed to it but after a week or so we sat down and talked about things. It turns out that she had kissed another guy while on deployment. In fact she had admitted to do it twice once during the summer of 2003 and during the summer of 2005. The guy she had kissed was an ex-boyfriend of hers before we had gotten together. She insisted that it was just a "kiss" no groping etc. Once again we worked throught that and continued on. About a month ago my wife was feeling unhappy again and though we didnt talk about divorce she was saying how she was focusing on the negative parts of our relationship. Now for once im sitting back looking at the last six years of my life thinking do I want to continue this. For the first time in 6 years I am the one going is this right? Let me explain my current situation. I have two children with my wife. We both love them more than anything. My wife has a daughter from a previous marriage from when she was very young. So I have been realizing lately that I think we have always continued on for the sake of the children. And I realize that staying together is what is best for them. But what is best for me? Im sitting here wondering if I love my wife. I know that if we were to part ways it would not be a hate filled divorce and more of a she is who she is I am who I am and were parting ways. In fact we discussed having joint custody of our children the last time we discussed divorce because we both believe we are important parts of their lives. I think the part about divorce that scares me the most is the financial part. We currently have a home we purchased several months ago, 2 car payments, etc. We both have good jobs that we enjoy. We both have a lot of friends and family who I know we would hurt if it came to a divorce. And to finish this off I have found somene who I have fallen for. This is a woman who I occasionally see through work and I really enjoy talking to her and I think she feels the same way. Just to clarify I have not done anything besides talk to this woman. But lately she is all I can think about. I guess I would have to admit to "flirting" with her. So does anyone have any advice I would appreciate it.