Sadandwaiting Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 years, 2 of them have been a LDR. He has asked me twice to move up there to live with him, but both times he took it back. He said he wasnt ready. The 1st time he took it back we broke up and the 2nd time i told him that i wasnt going to move unless he was really sure and i guess he wasnt. He does love me and we get along really well. We even talk about getting married. But he says he just wants alittle more time to be on his own (not living with me). i'm worried he wont ever be ready, but whenever i talk about leaving him b/c he wont change his mind he tells me " just wait it will happen when its the right time" " i really know its going to work out if you just give it time". But i feel like i'm putting my life on hold and i'm sick of being alone all the time. I want to be with him. Should i give up? or should i stay?
catgirl1927 Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 I think you are putting your life on hold. It sounds to me like he's stringing you along. Only you know the truth, but I think based on what you posted that you should probably start letting go of him. If you tell him, look, it's been x amount of time, I'm ready to have a real, full time relationship and if you're not then maybe we should take a break, he will either tell you to move up there or agree with you. Either way, you'll get your answer from him. But "I need more time" sounds very non-committal and kinda fishy to me.
hiraka Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 So is it that he needs his space or doesn't think he can't live up to his own expectations? Some guys think I suppose that there are certain things they need to do (amount they need to earn, take care of the girl, fix financial responsibilities) before they can get on a further level of commitment. I had been in a relationship (not ldr) that lasted many many years because the guys idea of commiting required he provide a certain level of comfort, but was not able to do it so the relationship went no where for so long. Let's just say that ended because it was going nowhere. Don't let your life revolve around him. You need to live yours since it looks like he is not willing to commit and takes back when he is. I would slowly drift away from him. If he was just scared of commitment, he will either take it or let you go. Only you know for sure if it is time to slowly move on or to wait for him.
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