POTAMO Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 Women’s View: I would like to get a women’s view as the dumper does it at effect you if the dumpee goes NC with you? Men’s View: I would like to get a men’s view as the dumper does it at effect you if the dumpee goes NC with you? The reason that I ask this is that is seems from reading posts that woman are more ok when subjected to NC by the dumpee….women is this true? P
destination_unknown Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 I am a woman, but I dont think we can generalise on sex here. It really does just depend on the situation, but heres my two cents. If the dumper still has feelings for the person and is breaking up with them because they are not happy with how the dumpee has been treating them and they are sick of it then NC will bother them. If the dumper is breaking up with the person because they dont love them anymore then NC will not hurt them. They may be slightly sad that the dumpee doesnt want to be friends but they will not dwell on it. Perhaps women think more carefully about what they really want before they break up with someone? I usually do. (Once very recently did it without thinking because i was being hurt by bf)
Onwards Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 I don't think it's gender specific. Some people are secure and some people are not....someone who is insecure, regardless of gender, is more likely to be affected by NC. Especially if the 'dumpee' appears to be moving on quicker than they (the dumper) are.
qnmc Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 I'm a guy and I agree with Destination_Unknown, it depends on the situation not the gender. In situations where I've broken up with someone who I wasn't in love with, I felt really bad about hurting them, but when it went to NC it didn't hurt that they wanted to go in NC. I understood why they needed to be alone. In the only situation where I've broken up with someone that I was in love with, I'm the one who went NC after a while. It definitely hurt to go NC, even though I'm the one who initiated it. I guess in the back of my head I wanted her to come back and say, I'm so sorry for not being there for you when you needed me, I'll change. But this feeling passed after some time. I'm really glad she didn't come back and tell me she could change, it wouldn't have been for the best. Bottom line is that NC sped up the healing process.
Ariadne Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 Hi, Women’s View: I would like to get a women’s view as the dumper does it at effect you if the dumpee goes NC with you? Yes, I feel relieved. I remember when I broke up with my ex bf. Every single time I'd log in my computer he'd say "Hi" in the MSN... I was so annoyed! I had a crush on another guy at the time. So I told him (bluntly, I know) that the last thing I wanted was for him to say "Hi" to me every time I logged in my computer, that it was like when you want chocolate and they give you a lettuce. Well, we are still in touch and we are firends, and every once in a while he reminds me of the "lettuce boy." Ariadne
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